No photos of new house

[beetuljoos]

DP and I are in the process of renovating our home. Huge job, big changes, lots of effort involved. Very proud of the result. DP is absolutely adamant I cannot put any photos of it on my private instagram account (maybe 200 followers, all people I know). I want to share a few snapshots of it. I don't mean constantly, but share a before/after of a finished room once we complete one perhaps. Is he right?

Me too.

I wouldn't want pics of my house shown to all and sundry. I even hate the fact that people I don't know will be able to see pics of it when I come to sell it!

Most people on this thread are having the wrong argument tbh. Whether you think it's weird to post house photos on Insta or not really isn't the point.

The point is, it's the DHs house. He doesn't want photos of his house on Insta, which is his right. The OP should respect that - whether she agrees with it or not - because he DHs preference for privacy trumps a need to share photos with people.

If my DH posted photos of our house on Insta when I'd asked him not to, I would seriously be rethinking the relationship; not because I'd be that arsed about the photos themselves being shared, but due to the breach of trust. I'd be wondering why my feelings were being ignored and what else my OH would be unable to negotiate over.

I mean, I don't, but it's hardly my fault if they do feel pressured to like my posts, lol.

So you accept they might? glad we agree.

But it's not comparable to a private message. Ignoring a private message is generally considered really rude,

I dont think it's rude to not respond to a whatsapp straight away & don't know anyone in my circle who thinks that but you can disagree. Some of us are in different time zones!

A friend shared some renovation shots today as after a year of work she finally gets to move in. She didn't just send photos to me, we were talking over the phone about the move & her divorce & I asked for the photos.

I’m quite private and I wouldn’t do this but I wouldn’t really do anything if my partner did it tbh. So I’m like kinda on his side but not when he started telling you what you could and wouldn’t post yourself. You’re an adult

Whether you think it's weird to post house photos on Insta or not really isn't the point.

you're right. I think the thread has veered off because some are arguing why the DH shouldn't care but that's irrelevant as the fact is he does.

So you accept they might? glad we agree.

I mean, of course they might.🙄Equally, they may not give a shit and that's fine too. But at least if it's a generic post, they know they can just ignore it and not worry about causing offence.

I dont think it's rude to not respond to a whatsapp straight away & don't know anyone in my circle who thinks that but you can disagree. Some of us are in different time zones!

Who said anything about responding right away?

Absolutely no one has suggested that anyone needs to see the photos. That's not the purpose on Instagram or any social media, you must know that. If need was the requirement SM wouldnt exist. If someone felt like that about other people's photo they're hardly going to be scrolling through IG in the first place

I absolutely love people sharing housing renovations etc. it's why I have Instagram, I love seeing what my friends are up to etc. there seems to be this theme on Mumsnet that you are a massive show off and no one care if you post a pic of you or your life. I get why you want to share it!

Well, nobody is FORCED to do anything but it's generally considered pretty rude to ignore someone who's taken time out of their day to message you personally about their lives, lol.

As I said you must have different communication interactions then I do with my loved ones.

Yep, sure. I didn't comment on that part of it as it's an entirely different argument to showing off. That was the part I was responding to, and I was pretty clear I was basing my comments on that aspect.

I love seeing pictures of renovated houses- speak for yourself.

he can’t veto that not really his decision. Especially if your account is set to private. I wouldn’t have asked him beforehand to be honest- why did you ask permission?

All you need to think about is if you asked DP not to do something (e.g. post a photo of you that you don't like, invite a person to your home you aren't keen on etc) and they did it anyway, how would you feel? I expect you'd feel annoyed, angry or betrayed and therefore if you do choose to post photos there will likely be consequences to your relationship.

If DP is not usually controlling about your social media usage but feels strongly about this then the fair thing to do is take onboard their opinion on the matter.

I agree that he ultimately should have the last say when it comes to posting pictures of your house on social media.

His need for privacy trumps your need to share the pictures on Instagram.

Why don't you share the pictures on WhatsApp to a select group of friends and family?

Agreed! It would never have occurred to me that anyone would be so precious about people seeing the inside of their house til I read this. Why do they care so much?

Because some people just aren’t that fussed about external validation and are happy to keep their home private.

I think as someone has said upthread I wonder if it’s an age thing. Sharing your life with the world like you’re in a magazine is a very recent thing I think.

And would they then be able to criticise yout choices, I don't use things like that? Who on earth you you expect all and sundry to be remotely interested in your house renovation?

Well, nobody is FORCED to do anything but it's generally considered pretty rude to ignore someone who's taken time out of their day to message you personally about their lives, lol.
What rubbish! It's rude to try and ram the tedium of one's life down the throats of other and then be cheeky enough to expect them to waste time out of their day to respond.
People need to realise that they're only interesting to themselves and maybe their closest famil.

It's not all and sundry though is it, it's friends and family. Only the people you have included within your privacy settings

That isn't true though. I genuinely LIKE seeing people's interiors even if I don't know them well, or at all, on social media because I'm interested in it. I like seeing what my friends have done with their houses, and I follow people who've built up a following specifically because of their interiors. I posted some pictures of some creative painting I'd done in my own flat (murals, stripes, that kind of thing) and several people have wanted me to come and do similar in their homes so clearly people do like it.

Because some people just aren’t that fussed about external validation and are happy to keep their home private.

Such a judgemental comment. I love seeing how friends build their homes and lives and am happy for them that they can express their personality through their homes, and grateful if they invite me on the journey. I also get lots of inspiration for my own home from other people's homes - if they didn't share I might not be able to see their storage solutions, or bathroom renovation.

Maybe you might not like those things, but plenty of people do. Stop making out that this is about seeking external validation - given that OP's instagram account is private, for OP and many others, it is about being part of your friends' and families' lives, and inviting them to be part of yours. Completely normal and not a recent thing - humans are social creatures after all.

It's OK to be more introverted but spare us the virtue signalling - you just have a different personality that's al.

Blimey, who pissed on your chips 🤣

People need to realise that they're only interesting to themselves and maybe their closest famil.

Gosh, what a narrow life you must lead if you find all but a few people don't interest you?

I'm consistently interested in the lives of my friends and acquaintances, even those I don't know very well. It's interesting to see how others live their lives, the hobbies they do, the interesting places they visit, what they do with their homes. I'm not a huge social media poster but I find such interest and enjoyment in seeing what others are up to.

Being interested in others has opened up new things for me - places I hadn't thought of visiting, garden plants I'd never heard of, home renovation ideas that were really clever. And it's also just interesting to see what they're up to, because I obviously feel some kind of personal connection or I wouldn't be following them on social media.

No real advice on your DP without knowing what his problem is with it.

But house renovation posts on IG are definitely a thing. There’s a big boom on renovation/interiors content, my house has its own reno account (obviously run by me, not the house) and it has over 1000 followers.

Oh, I love seeing pictures of stuff like that. If I'm following someone on social media it's because I like them enough to have an interest in what's going on in their lives. My friend's just done a ton of work on her house and I've really enjoyed seeing it transform.

Also, a lot of people have an Instagram account just for their renovation project - loads of people are really interested in interiors and DIY and follow renovation accounts out of interest in the same way you'd follow accounts relating to any other interest or hobby. They exchange tips and advice, get inspiration, encourage each other when there are setbacks etc.

Totally fine that you don't want to see pictures of someone's house, but that doesn't mean nobody else does either.

If you don't think anyone except your closest family is interesting, why are you here on Mumsnet, reading and responding to conversations about the lives of total strangers? There's a lot more over-sharing on Mumsnet than there is on social media.