To not want to be felt up when reading stories to dc

[Notledbybaby]

I might be being over sensitise but this keeps happening. I’m in bed and kids come in with a book and I start reading it to them, meanwhile DH is feeling my bum up. It makes me feel a bit sick tbh.

Also my youngest shoves her hand down my top a lot, DH makes comments like oh I like doing that too.

I don’t think he should be doing that - AIBU?

AstroSurf · 15/05/2022 15:25

"No. Because from reading the forums it's abundantly clear many posters here are a weird group of their own, and don't represent normal humanity and society."

Yes, it really is a very strange world, imagining itself to be representative of most women while actually being a bizarre fringe of prigs. It reminds me of my wanderings into the equally strange world of MRAs or some lesbian groups.

It's not that they never make a good point but rather that a fanatical culture mushrooms and dominates, becoming the defining dogma to the gradual exclusion of all common sense.

If that's where your mind goes, you seriously need help.

YANBU at all. My dad used to do very similar to my mum in front of me and it still makes me feel sick when I think about it.

I need more info before I judge it. There’s a difference between hand resting on bum or gently touching and full on obviously leading to sex groping. It’s fine not to be okay with the first - but you need to say so to him rather than just come on here and post about it

OP refers it to ' feeling my bum up' and has said that when he does it she pushes his hand away. She also says it keeps happening.

That's enough to judge that OP does not like it, interprets it as a sexual touch, not a caring one, and that she communicates she does not like this by pushing him away when he does it. Yet he keeps on doing it. There is enough here to judge that it is inappropriate, she has communicated and he is ignoring her.

Urgh. I know he’s your husband but if I were you he would make my skin crawl. Creepy. Especially, ‘’Ooh, I like doing that too’’ in front of your daughter. That does not sit right with me 🤮

ew. I think it's vile sex pest behaviour, constantly touching and groping. Just so unattractive. It's just degrading.

And yes completely inappropriate when you're with your children. it's just like a reminder that you're theirs. Ownership or jealousy, such a turn off. It's depressing all of the posters on this thread who just say "oh yes my OH is just like this". Why would you stay with someone who treats you like this? (and no, it's not just affection or attraction - they're not dogs that need to hump your leg every time they see you).

I get it op. you should ask him not to.

my DH did a similar thing when I was breastfeeding and I HATED it. It was innocent, and I love my DH, I don’t like rejecting him etc but I will stand up for myself if I don’t like something. Also your DH probably wouldn’t want to do it if he knew you weren’t enjoying it.

Nothing to do with you being in bed, sorry.

Yes, it's grim to be groping you when you're reading a story to your children or making comments like the one about your DC putting their hand up your top.

I'm sure he probably does think he's just being affectionate/showing you that he finds you attractive, but clearly it's totally misguided and you definitely do need to tell him that it's making you feel uncomfortable when the kids are present, even if they're too little to have a clue what's going on. Tell him when the kids are asleep or something.

WTF?

Christ these men's brains are so revoltingly porn-addled.