To not want to be felt up when reading stories to dc

[Notledbybaby]

I might be being over sensitise but this keeps happening. I’m in bed and kids come in with a book and I start reading it to them, meanwhile DH is feeling my bum up. It makes me feel a bit sick tbh.

Also my youngest shoves her hand down my top a lot, DH makes comments like oh I like doing that too.

I don’t think he should be doing that - AIBU?

Tell him to grow up, get some boundaries and stop being a 'dirty old man'.

He's disrespecting you OP and you need to put a stop to it.

Fart on his hand?

Revolting! What if you split up and you got together with another man? Would your H be happy if the same scenario played out with his daughter present but the other man was the groper? If not, then what's the difference, if other man is just "showing affection" too? If your husband would be ok with this scenario too, then he's a porn addled pervert and not safe to be around young children.

Its no coincidence that's its when you're busy and especially when your attention is on DC. They feel they are entitled to your attention whenever they want it and are jealous that you're 'ignoring' them in favour of DC. Like a toddler wanting the potty the minute you start feeding the baby, but sleazy and highly inappropriate.
If you want to stay with such a man the only way to handle it is with a firm correction like you'd give to the dog.

It’s clearly a large subset of men doing this - dh included. I hate it, I don’t want my bum pinched while I’m walking past or my boobs poked if I’m leaning over him. Plus the stupid ‘funny’ comments in front of the teens.
its really irritating and I think you have to knock it back each time as well as finding time to say please stop doing xyz because I find it really uncomfortable.
ignoring the inevitable cries of child abuse 🙄

@PurpleFlower1983 you can just go & click on the other one.

I think this is borderline child abuse

it’s not okay for a man to make sexual advances in front of children. Is he their father? I’d be worried he was getting a kick out of the fact the children are there which is horrific.

I’d be leaving. I could not stay married to a, at best, inappropriate immature sex pest who can’t take no for an answer, or at worst, a predatory pervert.

When your DD is not there you simply need to tell him that you do not wish him to do this - in no uncertain terms. If he persists then take yourself off to the spare bedroom. Or better still another house.

It is totally pervy and I would not want my child to be around this - nor would I want to be with this man.

Totally inappropriate behaviour, my abusive ex started doing stuff like this towards the end of our relationship, rubbing my thighs and shoving his hand between my legs, almost as if he was 'establishing a claim' over my body. Don't tolerate it a moment longer. I would find this sort of behaviour indecent in the extreme.

How are you able to tolerate being in the same room as a man who refuses to hear your "NO", @Straightupp ?

OP - how are you able to tolerate being around a man you appear unable to say "NO" to?

The disrespect your H's are showing you is fucking chilling, & you both seem to be dismissing it as "boys will be boys".

Nice husband talking to his young daughter that way. I'm sorry, but your family is disgusting. Get help.

Honestly kids ruin relationships. It's nit necessarily a bad thing. Anything that exposes these men fir who they really are does, long term, do you A favour.

Our bodies change. Or needs change. Our priorities change. Theirs don't. They become a third child who you have to manage somehow. Seeking rewards and pats on the back sex for doing the most basic things.

You wake up one day and feel resentment and hatred for someone who is not the equal partner you wanted or needed but yet another job for you to sort out.

So true, @Whatwouldscullydo

My OH was a sex pest to me - he had a brain degenerative disease which commonly causes this - but even he did not do it in front of the children. Despite his brain being compromised day by day, he still had the wit to know that this was inappropriate.

I am sorry that so many women are going through this sex-pestery. I thought we had stopped being chattels.

My OH is the same! I don't appreciate it all. I think they think its funny. My DS said he 'loved mummy's boobies' and my DH said 'so do I but at least DS gets to see them' 🙄

@Straightupp a teenager is able to understand the difference between affection & groping. Stop buying your husbands "oh, I just don't understand!" bullshit.
Of course he fucking understands. He simply dislikes not being able to manhandle you whenever HE chooses, & sod what you are feeling about it.

He doesn't know how to just give me a cuddle or ask if I'm ok or make me a cuppa
Again - you are buying into his bullshit & making excuses for him.
He clearly doesn't give a shit about his wife if he "doesn't know" these things. That, or he is a moron.

So ... moron, or unreconstructed, uncaring sex pest?
Not much of a choice, is it. How are you still with him?

I'd ask him if he was one of those incestuous paedophiles who got their sexual kicks from doing it in front of children. That might make the dirty bastard snap out of it, I couldn't be with someone like that.

wtf is wrong with him. Anything sexual around children is just very wrong. Why doesn't he know this.

It's really inappropriate to be doing that in front of your children, even if he thinks he's being discreet. You've moved his hand away, he should get the message and stop.
I also find it disturbing that he has made that comment to your child that he likes to 'do that too' about putting his hand down your top. That is inappropriate sexual behaviour and he absolutely should not be saying that to your child. Sounds like he's saying it to you but through your child which is just awful really.

Nothing technical about it.

Legally, morally - it's CSA.

Why are there people posting openly about living with sex offenders? For fucks sake, get these blokes away from your kids if you won’t raise your own standards at least.

This was a reccurring theme for me. Whenever I said I didn't like it I was pathologised as being frigid and not showing affection. This contributed massively to his narrative about the eventual breakdown of our relationship.

I think it's common when kids come along and partners feel pushed out and are craving your attention. Doesn't mean it's OK though.

That's horrible & it sounds like you have either DH groping you or the kids yanking at your top. You need to put boundaries in place for both DH & the kids. I've never had the kids grabbing me like that. They probably see DH doing it and think it's ok.

Mine was (and is) most definitely jealous of our 1 year old getting ‘all the attention’. Apparently I’m ‘obsessed with the baby’ because his father is not the centre of the universe.

It’s pathetic, tedious and deeply unattractive.

(and a reminder for those who think I just put up with this: I left him so we live separately.)

Your husband sounds absolutely vile