To not want to be felt up when reading stories to dc

[Notledbybaby]

I might be being over sensitise but this keeps happening. I’m in bed and kids come in with a book and I start reading it to them, meanwhile DH is feeling my bum up. It makes me feel a bit sick tbh.

Also my youngest shoves her hand down my top a lot, DH makes comments like oh I like doing that too.

I don’t think he should be doing that - AIBU?

That is disgusting. Does he need to go back to the basics on the concept of consent?

Have a word about it.
I wouldn’t be able to put up with that.

I'd hate that. Its gross and inappropriate and saying that to your child is creepy and would give me the ick.

I'd ask him once not to do it then probably end up losing my temper with him tbh.

What the fuck are you all doing married to men who grope you? And when you're with your children?

I honestly thought this thread was a troll when I first read it because I couldn't believe that any woman would want to remain in a relationship with a man who treats her like a sex doll.

Seems I was wrong.

@Notledbybaby 100% my DP thinks he is being affectionate. I've tried to tell him that being affectionate is completely different to being sexual, he doesn't understand that.
He doesn't know how to just give me a cuddle or ask if I'm ok or make me a cuppa (things I consider to be showing affection) his affection is bum/boobs groping, asking me touch him or putting my hands on him if I won't touch him when asked.

Honestly sometimes the way he goes on I feel like I am the unreasonable one for not wanting the 'attention' from him all the time but I'm glad to see from this thread he is the unreasonable one.

Yanbu, horrible.
I absolutely cannot stand being groped. 🤮

I agree.

go clean the bathroom or something useful instead.

and maybe show ‘affection’ in a way I actually appreciate.

To be clear, my husband and I now live separately and are determining whether to make that permanent and divorce. This stuff was not the major issue, but is indicative of the general level of selfishness and not caring about my wants/boundaries/feelings that led to me leaving him.

I hope none of you are bringing up your DC to not understand consent

Does he get off on doing this in front of the children?

Isn’t it technically child abuse to engage in sexual activity in front of children?

I feel the same way about hand holding too. I dont heed help crossing the road I'm a grown woman. And what's with that stupid smile as you grabbed ny hand.
You may as will piss up my leg. Fuck off again.

I clicked the wrong button but YANBU at all, it’s weird!

What the actual hell? This is assault.

Is he getting aroused from doing this to you while your CHILDREN are in bed with you? That comment to your daughter as well - completely inappropriate way for a parent to talk to a child.

Leave him, and take your children with you.

100% my DP thinks he is being affectionate.

This excuse works once. Then, when these men have been clearly told that it is not taken as a sign of affection, why don't they stop? That's a rhetorical question - we all know why they don't stop.

Tell him, clearly and explicitly that you do NOT consent to him touching you sexually in front of the children and that exposing children to overtly sexual behaviour is a form of sexual abuse.
If he continues, you need to have a very difficult think about what this means about whether he respects you and what that means for your relationship.

That's creepy Op, it's annoying enough if you're alone but doing it around your DC is uncalled for. Do you think he feels you can't make a fuss infront of the DC so he can get away with it,?

Seriously this, it’s depressing. These men don’t “think they are being affectionate” they think they are entitled to your bodies. Disgusting. I’m sure they would understand perfectly well how inappropriate and NOT affectionate it was if their wives tried to stick a finger up their arse while chatting to the post man or whatever. They just play dumb.

Pretty gross tbh and the comment is so weird and inappropriate.

He sounds like he is jealous of your time with them, and is trying to get attention

That was my first thought too.

All of this.

Its the man doing as he wants and framing it as ' affection' to try to shut the woman down. When really he's being a selfish twat.

Don't fall for it!

Ew, gross!

What is he? Some kind of pedophile?

Your husband does not think he is being affectionate.

He does think he get get away with treating your body as he likes though.

None of these men are doing it to show affection.

To all the women who have causally said 'ah yes my husband is like this too' should be seriously considering their marriages. It's really not ok and children shouldn't be brought up thinking that it's ok to grope a woman without consent, whether you're married or not. It's bloody awful.

'Don't do that, it makes me feel sick!'
Be brutal. I agree, it's gross.

@Straightupp Actually, I've read your post again, and its quite disturbing. Your partner has effectively manipulated you in to in letting him use you sexually whenever he likes. Of course he knows how to make tea or cuddle! He doesn't want that. He wants a female body to use for his gratification.

Convincing you this is 'affection' is part of his manipulation of you.

Your relationship sounds pretty abusive. You need to rethink it.