To not understand why none of my neighbours answered the door

[Ihateitalot]

I moved in a month ago. I needed to get 10 year old dd from school but there was an issue with my front door not closing. I could have gone out the back but there was still the issue that the front door would literally not close.

I knocked on houses to see if someone could keep an eye on my door for max 15 mins. I could see some neighbours through their windows completely ignoring me or peeking back at me and then disappearing. The neighbour across from me I couldn’t see, but while I was phoning my mum to collect dd for me she answered the door for an ASOS parcel! Just so rude.

I’m beginning to think it’s because my face doesn’t fit, if you know what I mean. Next door but one completely blank me, and have crossed the street when they see me coming. I didn’t bother knocking on theirs.
One of the neighbours across from me was initially friendly, so I thought. He came over asking who my landlord was, then preceded to blank me every time after.

I feel like moving again.

I live in Yorkshire (I'm from London originally) and I can assure you that not everyone who lives in Yorkshire is like this. I have really lovely neighbours and even socialise with some of them

Judging by some of the post on here you have caused many people extreme anxiety by knocking on their door without giving notice. It is a pity that people are so unfriendly and unhelpful OP.

It might be a race thing. It's FAR more likely, given the number of posters on here who won't ever open the door at all, ever, unless someone makes an appointment beforehand, that they are just rude, antisocial fuckers.

If you recognise them, they recognise you. In a "there's that woman from No 42 who has the blue car and two boys" sort of way. They are rude and ignorant fuckers whatever their reasons for ignoring you.

I totally agree with you @KnitPurlKnitPurl. I have never been able to understand why people are so phobic about answering their front doors (unless they live in a dodgy area or are fleeing an abusive relationship).

I am far too nosey not to answer my door. That said the people who knock on our door are always delivery people or people I know and like.

Smells of racism 🤮

Fuck them all, OP. You’re bette than them. Just ignore them all.

I have extreme anxiety and insomnia. So I'm often wearing PJs at midday (while working). I would not answer my door to a stranger.

But I would text my neighbour across the road. She is in a similar health situation to me. It's not a race thing. It's a 'don't get in my space' thing.

@KnitPurlKnitPurl

they are just rude, antisocial fuckers

Well, aren't; you just a charmer. Have you never heard of mental health conditions?

Because they didn't want to.

Why would you assume someone has to answer their door?

Same here. I can't answer if I'm on a work phone call but otherwise I do. My next door neighbour knocked this week as she's received what looks like a birthday card to her address but with a name she doesn't know. I drew a blank with it so she went off to knock on a few more doors. My neighbours are nice. Those of the OP sound horrible. Fancy peering at someone from the inside and refusing to answer the door.

I'm not sure how many doors you knocked on but I'm surprised at least one didn't answer. I know if I was in your situation I'd be questioning why nobody wanted to answer to me. I wouldn't say you're being unreasonable to be upset or a bit confused or hurt by it, but unfortunately you can't expect people to answer their doors. I do see it from a neighbours perspective; if I'm ill or having a really bad day with my mental health then I won't answer the door.

I'd find it weird too. I live in a normal area of the Welsh valleys. I only really know my next door neighbours well, but I'd know most of the others if I saw them about. It would be pretty normal in my area to ask someone for a small favour, I'd be quite sad if I lived in a less neighbourly area.

Incidentally were probably 99.9% white and I can't imagine anyone having issues with someone else's race, must be crap for you.

I can't imagine living anywhere so unfriendly, that no one answers the door to you. My neighbours mostly keep themselves to themselves, but I know if I needed any help, they wouldn't ignore me.

The previous neighbour was very old and ended up banging on my wall when he fell and broke his hip. I ended up going round, finding I couldn't help because he couldn't move to open the door and having to call an ambulance for him. Unfortunately he died in hospital. Perhaps half the posters on here would have ignored him.

Exactly. We're not in each others ' pockets but with the neighbours either side we help each other out if needed.

I do open the door and it's only ever annoying people trying to get me to switch energy company or broadband, or someone asking me to take in someone else's package so I might stop unless I'm expecting someone. I also wouldn't want to stop what I'm doing to watch your front door either. People at home aren't all just sat on their arse.

I'm sorry, but I agree with this. I don't answer the door unless I know someone is coming, or a delivery is expected. Some days chronic pain is so bad I don't want to speak to anyone - least of all strangers - for whatever reason they want, and right now it is getting over fucking covid, which doesn't seem to be happening. I don't know you, I don't open the door.

This thread is so depressing. Every excuse in the book to avoid any kind of contact or connection with someone.

Seriously, what's happened to people? In my experience there are far fewer cold callers than there used to be, so it's unlikely that anyone knocking on for for is going to be difficult to get rid of. Yet apparently fewer and fewer people are prepared to give a caller a few precious seconds.

As for what OP needed, of course I'd help a neighbor, old or new, in that situation. She had no choice but to leave her house with the door open. It wasn't like I'd need to stand and stare at the door for fifteen minutes.

They are all Mumsnetters. It's well know that no Mumsnetter should ever answer their front door.

im white and i answer my door when its knocked on ,, but i do live in a very mixed race street , there are some right knobs out there and i cannot get over the fact you would look out your window , see whos at the door ,know that they have seen you and then pretend your not there , its bloody pathetic

I forgot to also add that I rarely wear bottoms indoors. So if I were to open the door Ive got to find some clothes, which means I have to walk past teh front door (which has a window in it, although obscured) and get upstairs (which takes ages, dodgy knees), put something on, get downstairs (dodgy knees again) and open the door

Not happening

I seem to live in an unusual area - we haven't had energy companies or unsolicited sales people come round for about 15 years! I thought all that had stopped ages ago.
We didn't even have the political parties canvassing!
So I'm not troubled by frequent cold callers, so always answer the door. If on the off chance it's something I don't want to engage with, it's a polite no thanks and close the door again.

I would recognise very few of my own neighbours, maybe only two families that live on our street. The last few times I’ve opened the door to someone that wasn’t a delivery person they ended up being Jehovahs Witnesses, a guy trying to get me to take a survey for some statistics company, and a charity salesperson. None of which were easy to get rid of. So now I’m quite wary about who I open the door to. In your case though it does sound like racism could be involved.

It wasn't like I'd need to stand and stare at the door for fifteen minutes.

How would you have then helped her with her request.

If you hadn't said it in your OP I would have asked are you white.

There's your answer

Nasty, broken, Brexit Britain

I'm really glad I've got the neighbours I have rather than some of the posters on this thread.

Obviously even the pandemic didn't cause people to be more neighbourly in many cases.

I used to do online shopping for my neighbours when I could get a slot and they couldn't. I have a friend who barely knew her neighbours but they did form connections over lockdown. They now have a WhatsApp group so people can lend a hand to each other if needed.