To not understand why none of my neighbours answered the door

[Ihateitalot]

I moved in a month ago. I needed to get 10 year old dd from school but there was an issue with my front door not closing. I could have gone out the back but there was still the issue that the front door would literally not close.

I knocked on houses to see if someone could keep an eye on my door for max 15 mins. I could see some neighbours through their windows completely ignoring me or peeking back at me and then disappearing. The neighbour across from me I couldn’t see, but while I was phoning my mum to collect dd for me she answered the door for an ASOS parcel! Just so rude.

I’m beginning to think it’s because my face doesn’t fit, if you know what I mean. Next door but one completely blank me, and have crossed the street when they see me coming. I didn’t bother knocking on theirs.
One of the neighbours across from me was initially friendly, so I thought. He came over asking who my landlord was, then preceded to blank me every time after.

I feel like moving again.

People don’t like to be bothered 🤷🏾‍♀️

This is super weird of them, and possibly racist. We got new neighbours recently and I was if anything OVER keen to say hi to them. But we had a friendly relationship with our previous neighbours and our street is quite friendly and very mixed so maybe that's the difference.
This said, I don't know why you wouldn't want to at least briefly scope out a new neighbours. It is very odd that they would avoid you so egregiously.

I think this is really sad op. I can't believe how many people don't open their door. Maybe I am lucky where Iive but my neighbours always open the door or have door opening anxiety. I would've happily kept an eye on your house for 15 mins.

It is entirely possible that your neighbours are racist, this is going to sound ageist but are they older people? In my experience people in my grandparents generation 80's and 90's age group are much more likely to be racist although I must stress I am not generalising that all older people are.

When I’m working from home I won’t answer the door because I’m working!!

I wouldn’t judge them on this incident, but just give a wave when you pass people often and stay friendly.

I live in a close knit community- and we certainly have people whose faces don’t fit- but they tend to be the people who come in and force themselves into conversation rather than just letting things happen. Oh and the tacky as f@ck neighbour who has just bought a hot tub… 😂

Tbh I wouldn’t have asked any of my neighbours to do this. And I have had an issue like this but I wouldn’t ask my neighbours and I’ve lived here years. Not really there problem especially if you’ve only lived there 5 minutes and sounds like you haven’t spoken to any of them

They sound like a bunch of arseholes.

I’m sorry this happened to you. I always open my door unless asleep, or having sex. If I’m on the toilet I’ll finish up and come and see who was calling. I’ve always done this…. To me it’s normal. I feel for people who dread answering the door. They must have had such bad experiences in their lives. People always want to go back to the old days but really they’re not prepared to give even a second of their time or a moment of minor inconvenience. Luckily on my street, I knocked on our neighbours’ door when we first moved and although the wife was unwell, husband answered door and then she came around another day. Another neighbour heard my baby and came to introduce herself and offer some baby stuff she had. We knocked on the other neighbour and they were weird and surly with us, so we decided they must be in witness protection as we can’t imagine any other reason people would be so unwilling to get to know their neighbours 😜

This is MN so you'll have a queue of people eye-rolling at the mere suggestion that it could be racism.

I also wfh and don't really like my door being knocked but I wouldn't just ignore a neighbour.
Where I stayed a few years back, a 96 year old women next door would often fall and be unable to let her carers in and they'd knock on my door, and then I'd have to go several houses along to find the guy who actually did have the spare key.
I guess I could have just ignored them and left her to die though?

When we moved here the woman opposite knocked one morning as her car wouldn't start. DH went out and jump started it for her, don't know why people wouldn't help a neighbour.

I can think of several reasons why someone might not open their door
They are working nights. They have dc who didn't sleep at night & are not dressed yet & embarrassed about answering the door' They are in the back garden & didn't hear, they are doing something which means they are up the ladder, they are in the bath or on the loo. They just simply have a lie in or are not dressed (as previous comment). They don't answer door to strangers. They are hard of hearing.
Hopefully it might be one of these. I would rather have a neighbour who ignores me than one who makes my life hell - to be honest (& my dh is Asian) & if you move you have no idea who might be your next door neighbour

Not answering the door to a neighbour is simply churlish. DH works from home and doesn’t always answer the door if he is on a call and doesn’t recognise the person but he would always answer a neighbour (even if it was the grumpy one from two doors up) because, let’s face it, they wouldn’t be knocking uninvited just for fun.

Even more awful if it looks like racism is to play in this case 😠

What a shame to live surrounded by people who won't answer their door to you. It's sad that people who live closely together don't think of themselves as a part of a neighbourhood community any more.

Let's hope your non-door opening neighbours don't ever need a parcel taking in or worse, need telling that their car/cat/pet tortoise has been hit or their shed is on fire. You never know why someone is wanting or needing your attention, even if you don't know them.

This. I know it's not very neighbourly but the amount of people knocking for charity, or about the election, or to ask me to take other people's parcels in (who then never come to collect!) while I'm in the middle of a meeting gets very annoying, plus sometimes I just can't leave to answer the door, whereas 10 minutes later when the meeting, or my part in it is finished, I can (which could have been the issue with your neighbour). Or if I know I'm expecting a parcel I can excuse myself for 2 minutes for that, to save myself a 20 minute trip each way for the depot, but it would look really bad to then excuse myself again 10 minutes later.
If its a neighbour I've recognise and spoken to then I would try to answer if I could. Perhaps you can use this as an 'in' - if you see them in the street say, sorry if I disturbed you if you were working yesterday, and describe your issue. Some of them might not have even recognised you - I've lived in my house for years and would only know the people either side of me, wouldn't recognise the others if I saw them in the next street!

My experience is that people just don't open their doors anymore unless they are expecting someone/a package. Take your situation if they would have opened the door they would have had to either sit and watch a door for 15mins or awkwardly say no thanks, I don't want to. By not answering the door they swerved it. My neighbours only ever knock when they want something from me, I do answer but whilst muttering what the fuck do they want now. Good things don't generally randomly knock on the door.

At the moment, we have no idea if OPs area prone to lots of door knocking or not.

I work from home half the week and DH the other half and we rarely get knocked on. Maybe once or twice around election times, only a handful of times in the last 5 years to door-to-door sales people and only once by JW. Never been asked to take a parcel in for a neighbour either.

If we get knocked on it'll be a neighbour asking for help or being helpful.

Do they answer the door to each other? I think it's quite normal these days to ignore unexpected social interactions. I don't answer the phone either unless I'm expecting a call. 😬

When we moved in we knocked on our neighbour's door to borrow a corkscrew. It sounds like it's a good job our road isn't populated by Mumsnetters. We haven't been ostracised.

Poor you. I'm somewhat unusual on MN because I always answer the door, and can't say it inconveniences me greatly.
I remember a couple of years ago a pregnant neighbour needed to be driven to hospital fairly urgently and knocked on the door for help. Imagine no-one answering the door to someone in that situation!
It sounds like an awful neighbourhood, OP. Where are you?

I think they were really odd not to answer, especially the woman who then took in her parcel. Yes they may be WFH, or asleep, or on the toilet but ALL of them seems a bit unlikely. That said, I wouldn't necessarily be keen to watch the door of someone I hadn't met, I'd be wary I'd be accused of something. I would have answered but come up with an excuse of having to go out myself. Ideally you would have introduced yourself within first few days of moving in and so already established a relationship. They may have been wondering why you were so unfriendly when you first arrived.

Bide your time until you take in one of their parcels and don’t answer the door when they come to collect it…

It’s a working class area but still quite smart. All the houses are well kept, not much crime, and a mixture of older people and families.

I know it was a lot to ask but it was an emergency really, and I’d have done it for them.

it’s making me feel uncomfortable. I obviously can’t say without a doubt it’s racism but they all chat to each other happily.

If you're ever in that situation again use the shoe technique to open a corked bottle.

Alternatively, use it as an opportunity to have some social interaction with a neighbor 🙄

OP, I feel for you. I'd have opened the door and happily kept an eye on your door for you 😀

I don’t answer my door if I don’t know who it is. however, if I suspect it might be a neighbor, I definitely try to answer. I figure if a neighbor is knocking they have a reason and not all of them have a way to message me. I certainly don’t recognize all of them. I mostly look for clues that the person knocking is selling something like a clipboard.

I spent ages banging on my neighbour's door once, ringing the bell, rattling the letterbox, shouting through it, the lot. I knew they were in because I saw movement through the window, but they wouldn't answer the door.

All I wanted to do was let them know their shed was on fire...