To not understand why none of my neighbours answered the door

[Ihateitalot]

I moved in a month ago. I needed to get 10 year old dd from school but there was an issue with my front door not closing. I could have gone out the back but there was still the issue that the front door would literally not close.

I knocked on houses to see if someone could keep an eye on my door for max 15 mins. I could see some neighbours through their windows completely ignoring me or peeking back at me and then disappearing. The neighbour across from me I couldn’t see, but while I was phoning my mum to collect dd for me she answered the door for an ASOS parcel! Just so rude.

I’m beginning to think it’s because my face doesn’t fit, if you know what I mean. Next door but one completely blank me, and have crossed the street when they see me coming. I didn’t bother knocking on theirs.
One of the neighbours across from me was initially friendly, so I thought. He came over asking who my landlord was, then preceded to blank me every time after.

I feel like moving again.

Wow I always knew MNers were weird about people knocking on doors but this thread is like a parallel universe!!

How can people blatantly look at someone through a window and then just ignore them??

Surely you'd recognise them as a neighbour??

If one of my neighbours knocked on I'd assume it was something important/possible emergency.

Ignoring them is beyond rude and actually pretty self centred.

OP I hope none of your neighbours ever have an emergency or need your help!

That's weird and rude!

This!

I would've answered you OP!

your new they don’t know you or why you would be knocking near school time.

There'd be a really easy way to find out why they're knocking!!

It is strange. I live on a row of 6 houses, we don't often knock on each other's doors and some neighbours are more sociable than others but we all answer the door and do what we can to help others. She wasn't asking them to mow her lawn or wash her car, just keep an eye out of a window and if they couldn't (like if they were WFH near the back of the house) they could have told her.

So they could answer the door and find out. It's middle of the day so they're not at risk of strangers getting in they couldn't see etc,. doesn't sound like any of them were doing the school run so it being that time isn't an issue. I get if you're wfh you might ignore the door but peering put the window and deciding you won't answer to the new lady up the road because it isn't like anything on fire just see. S so.... petty!! Ooh she's not been here long enough to warrant good manners! I'm sure she's knocking at 3 pm to mug us!

Are you sure you haven’t done anything to annoy your neighbours? Just, with you saying “One of the neighbours across from me was initially friendly, so I thought. He came over asking who my landlord was, then preceded to blank me every time after.” it does kind of look that that neighbour, at least, was unhappy about something (not necessarily racist as he was friendly at first) you or your family have done? Are your children (or yourselves) noisy, or do you have any antisocial tendencies? I’m not accusing you of anything, but it just seems strange that none of your neighbours want anything to do with you!

For what it’s worth, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be keen on being responsible for your property, for any length of time, especially if I didn’t know you well! I would feel the same whether, you were White, Black, Asian or any ethnicity, so nothing to do with racism!

It might be something as simple as they are working from home.
If someone bangs on my door during the day, I'm either on a video call or I'm trying to get something finished to a deadline.
i can't stop and chat.

After 6pm, I'll chat to anyone 😊

How depressing.
You're very unlikely to be mugged on your doorstep during daylight hours.
As for worries about responsibility for property - it's just keeping an eye out for a short time for a neighbour. Just a bit of goodwill.

All the delivery drivers local to us knock and run nowadays, whenever the doorbell rings I presume that’s why. If someone really wants me they’ll ring twice and only then will I grudgingly answer the door

You are jumping to conclusions if you think this is a race issue just because it’s a predominantly white area, isn’t that a bit racist in itself?

Most people don't answer doors on my road actually - lots of elderly people, security issue and as we are in big houses you get fraudsters going door to door or you are very busy working I work from home so I might appear available but I cannot come out or I simply may not want to speak to a neighbour (although I do answer the door but my answer would have been no i cannot help - I never want to get dragged into that kind of thing). For me the not helping and not having time for neighbour calls is nothing to do with colour of skin by the way - it is about an Englishman's home is his castle and ring at the bell is a request not a demand that must be obeyed and being very very busy.

I’m in the not really answering the door camp but if I knew it was a neighbour - none of whom I’m friendly with and there’s an awful one that I outright avoid - I’d answer. The fact we don’t chat makes it seem even more important when they knock!

I’m perplexed by people rationalising this as people just being on work calls, etc (which I understand conceptually as I wfh) as the OP saw one neighbour actively looking at her (!) and it would have been a strange coincidence for the lady to be on a call when OP knocked but not when the ASOS man arrived.

I also have no idea why people are commenting on whether they’d watch her door - none of them knew that was why she was knocking! As PPs have said, it could have been an emergency and potentially one that affects them, not her.

Regarding the man who did speak once, he clearly only did so because he was wanting info. I don’t think anything happened in between that interaction and this - just that you had served your purpose.

All in all, OP, leave them to it. Racism or no racism, they don’t sound like people you should want to bother with or rely on. 🙂

Thought this was going to be about a parcel so came on to say you were being unreasonable but that’s really weird. I don’t particularly like answering the door to strangers but I recognise my neighbours from the surrounding houses and would always answer the door to them. Your neighbours sound like a bunch of dicks and if it’s due to race then doubly so!

Good things don't generally randomly knock on the door
Literally yesterday I knocked on both our neighbors doors to offer them cupcakes I just baked as I had made way to many 😇

On MN, there is the thing about "a knock on the door is a request, not a summons," but I have to say that it doesn't really translate to real life, in my experience.

It was weird, OP, and I'm sorry it made you feel uncomfortable. I live in a predominantly white, middle class area, but while there are the odd few who get upset about a passerby throwing an apple core into their bin or something, people are generally fine.

Maybe they are all MNers, and they were all hiding behind a Huge Salad, murmuring "no is a complete sentence' while going lc/nc with narc family members.

I'm joking. I think I'm joking.

I work nights so I'm often in night clothes/dressing gown at not usual times. I do often accept a delivery like that but if the door knocked and it wasn't a delivery I might panic/pretend not to be around and not answer it.

Could also be Covid shielders still avoiding people/covid symptoms/covid positive avoiding people.

Social anxiety
People who don't answer the door to people they don't know
As well as the working from home

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions.

I hope your door got fixed OK.

I dont know why people assume that its because they didnt recognise the op that they didnt open the door, I certainly dont recognise all the couriers who deliver around here so I am more likely to think a strange face is a courier.

Op i can look like i am not on the phone when i am wfh on a call, because i dont use a headset, so they might have been in the middle of a call.

Or unfortunately there is a fair chance they are racist.

You said one of them asked about your landlord. Do most of them own and you rent? Could there be some snobbery mixed in too?

I also think not everyone will recognise their neighbours. We have privacy blinds (like a net curtain but roller) that you can't see through. I might pull it forward to peep if the sound of a car is my husband or FIL if I'm expecting them but I'm not watching the comings and goings of others. I recognise/know a few neighbours but we have been here seven years and had cause to chat to some. Some nearby houses I would not recognise the people.

That was my first thought. Cue loads of posters making excuses for them.

My second thought after reading the OP's subsequent posts is that they are closet racists.

@Ihateitalot I'm sorry you have unfriendly neighbours. You now know not to accept any parcels for any of them or do them any favours.

If you lived near me I would have made you feel welcome, and I would have watched your door for you. I hope you have got it fixed by now.

This is one of those weird MN things when there's all sorts of random reasons why people don't/can't/won't answer their door, unless they're bollock naked, I just don't get the reasoning in most instances. Where I live in Northern Ireland the vast majority of people would answer their door either out of politeness or sheer nosiness.

It's possible that you've moved into a MN area @Ihateitalot

If there's a knock at my door, i answer it, so it does seem odd nobody answered.
Unless they saw you knocking on every door and thought, is she from :airtricity trying to persuade me to change/sign up (now)

I can't imagine people in our street not helping out their neighbours. Whereabouts do you live? North? I answer the door and try to help. There's some right gits in the world!

Maybe they're like me, deteriorating eye sight (20 steps away I wouldn't recognise my mum) & poor facial recognition.

Some people are just weird & rude. Half of MN don't open the door unless you have made an appointment, preferably in writing, 3 months before.

did you manage to get the lock replaced?