To not understand why none of my neighbours answered the door

[Ihateitalot]

I moved in a month ago. I needed to get 10 year old dd from school but there was an issue with my front door not closing. I could have gone out the back but there was still the issue that the front door would literally not close.

I knocked on houses to see if someone could keep an eye on my door for max 15 mins. I could see some neighbours through their windows completely ignoring me or peeking back at me and then disappearing. The neighbour across from me I couldn’t see, but while I was phoning my mum to collect dd for me she answered the door for an ASOS parcel! Just so rude.

I’m beginning to think it’s because my face doesn’t fit, if you know what I mean. Next door but one completely blank me, and have crossed the street when they see me coming. I didn’t bother knocking on theirs.
One of the neighbours across from me was initially friendly, so I thought. He came over asking who my landlord was, then preceded to blank me every time after.

I feel like moving again.

They can’t all be racist

You say one of the neighbours was friendly to start but is now unfriendly, have you any idea why?

Was it a quiet road, and your family are noisy (lots of shouting, loud cars, children being rude, swearing etc), if lots of your neighbours are older, their behavioural expectations may be very different to yours. (And that's no suggestion of anything negative on your part, just different lifestyles.

If you can have a chat with one neighbour and perhaps ask why people are so unfriendly, it might help.

Hi I would say that if your gut is telling you it is because you are mixed race, then that probably is the reason I’m afraid. You have probably had this happen to you enough times on your life to recognise it for what it is.
so sorry you had to experience this : \

That’s not very nice, but there’s nowt so queer as folk

No one is obliged to answer to their door to someone they don't know or to anyone if they are not expecting a visitor

It's this @Ihateitalot . Which is fucking stupid in my opinion, the women of mumsnet are nothing like the real life people I know that will open the door in the middle of the afternoon even if <gasp> they're not expecting anyone! Absolutely pathetic behaviour - barring of course disabled or otherwise infirm persons.

I don't really answer my door to people now and I've lived here for almost 40 years, I think jumping to conclusions that your whole street are racist is pretty ludicrous.

No it's not

Show them that you're no different to them. Irrelevant of their actions, smile politely and wave when you see them. Basically kill them with kindness when you come across them. Hopefully they might come round.
I'm black, by the way so know where you're coming from.x

I would have answered the door and certainly have helped you and would like to think most people would. Just can't understand why they didn't, is it the stepford wives?! Very strange and yes rude. I hope they get to know you and you become friendly with them, knowing our neighbours have got our backs is important. X

If only that were true! Sadly they can.

Judging by the replies to this though, it's just as likely they are plain rude. I'm totally gobsmacked that people don't answer their doors if they hear a knock. I'm not especially gregarious or social but I would never ignore a knock. I'm actually really saddened by the idea that you have to prearrange interaction with your neighbours. No wonder loneliness & mental illness are growing problems in society.

So you're new to the neighbourhood and no one even knocked to introduce themselves? (And I do always think the onus is on the existing residents to welcome newcomers, as I always have).

I was last to move into my new home and not one neighbour introduced themselves. That is probably why they ignored you, they don't really know you. Too busy, etc, etc, no real sense of community these days sadly.

Maybe we've become hermits

People are weird

I'd answer my door if only because I don't know who's behind it, knocking

I know colleagues don't answer door unless they are expecting someone or after xxpm

They may be anti your landlord, and anti renters

Yay - first post in and we get this response - I love Mumsnet

Same here! I rent in a very nice area, all houses are owned. I really dont think it's an issue of your race/creed.. I am white ... Its snobbery through and through. Absolute Arseholes!!

I don't answer the door when people knock if I just don't feel like speaking to anybody. Nothing rude about that

I would find it hard not to conclude racism is an element in their reactions too. I’m not saying people have to open their doors to strangers at all, I myself am reluctant to open my door if it’s not a delivery I’m expecting or someone I know. But in this context, the OP says she was clearly coming in & out of her home, her neighbours across the road were observing this all from inside their houses, making eye contact with her & that she recognised their faces, meaning it’s likely they recognised hers to be the new person to have moved into number X.
I wouldn’t want necessarily to watch someone’s front door either but the neighbours wouldn’t have known that’s what she was knocking about.
And anyone could have offered some suggestions, moral support or politely declined.
She could have been in danger, there could have been all kinds of reasons why she needed help. At the very least I would have answered if I was able to having seen what was going on. It is sad that you were treated that way. It’s true that crime, fear & individual prejudices toward renters, people of colour, class etc play into all of these things. Obviously if you are incapacitated & cannot open your door it’s different. If so I would imagine you would not continue to watch what she is doing & make eye contact, as that in itself is clearly rude. How on earth could you not wonder if part of the reason for why is because your face doesn’t fit??

I remember when a black family moved into our street, my white neighbours commented that house prices woukd go down.

Sorry you had to experience this, OP.

You can get dragged into doing favours for neighbours. Best to steer well clear. Once you start you are sucked in and it never ends. Well done to those not answering the door. the door bell is a request not a demand. No one has a legal obligation to answer it unless to the police.

And don't forget how to achieve the opposite and keep all the neighbours away is to get a fake ankle bracelet from eBay and let them think what they want!

Don’t understand why you think it’s racist, maybe people are busy working from home, on calls, getting ready to pick kids up, on the toilet, cooking dinner etc etc etc.
I don’t always answer the door for whatever reason but never because someone on my doorstep is a slightly different colour to me.

Toonclose to the bone, @Douzy , too close to the bone

it Will be down to xenophobia , unfortunately if you live in England in a prevalent white area as a minority or a different race or a foreigner you will suffer this behaviour. It’s not uncommon and it only got worse since brexit .
I find it shocking that anyone let alone a neighbor dies this . I keep a good relationship with my neighbors

I know it's not very neighbourly but the amount of people knocking for charity, or about the election, or to ask me to take other people's parcels in (who then never come to collect!) while I'm in the middle of a meeting gets very annoying, plus sometimes I just can't leave to answer the door, whereas 10 minutes later when the meeting, or my part in it is finished, I can (which could have been the issue with your neighbour)

Where are these places where there is a relentless barrage of knocks on doors during the day?

But this wasn’t one neighbour not answering their door. The OP rang on both neighbours, both in and no one answered.
Another neighbour blanked her, and the other was initially friendly but then blanked her after that.
So that’s four neighbours ignoring the OP. Not a coincidence, just bloody weird. Very weird. Like some kind of story from a horror film or a sci fi movie !

It might be racism, who knows

But what reason does a white person think for this happening if it happens to them?