Currently on mat leave, first baby. I'm the breadwinner and have just got a promotion for when I go back to work in October, earning approx 2x partners salary.
I'll be doing FT in 4 days, mum will do 2 days childcare and baby will go to a childminder one day. Partner was going to ask to cut down to 4 days at work for the final days childcare. I heard him on the phone to his manager asking to reduce his hours. Manager says, we can discuss FT in 4 days, so you won't lose out financially. Partner says, "oh well 'ivegottagoforaliedown' has a promotion and is working full time so we'll be fine".
I ask him about conversation and suggest he does full time in 4 days. He pulls a face then realises this is what I'm going to do and backtracks, saying he will do it but is worried that we would need childcare from 8-6 as opposed to 9-5.
I am already upset about going back to work. I loved my job but in all honesty I would be a SAHM for a year or two if I could. Partner works in an unqualified role in my field (healthcare) he could potentially get a better paid job but not enough to support us. Plus he is happy where he is. He knows how I feel about going back to work.
Unfortunately I can't go PT, my new role wouldn't allow it and PT in my previous role isn't enough pay wise. I feel like it's all on me. He would quite happily give up work himself or do minimal hours too. My other worry is he has a few hobbies, so I'm worried he will bugger off when I get home from work 2x a week after working PT.
He's a good dad, does his fair share round the house but always seems a bit harassed by it all if I'm honest, always saying how tired he is etc. I feel this is somehow my fault but I don't know why.
Why are 10 hour days ok for me but not him? I feel really annoyed because he knows how I feel about having to go FT.
Am I being unreasonable?