To not get a job because I’m a sahm

[velvetcandy]

So after 8 years being a sahm I’ve decided to go back to work. Had a very good interview last week, the role was actually half the salary I had before I had kids and a lower position but still the same area of work etc.

the feedback was, that I was perfect but they were worried because I’ve been out of work for so long so gave the job to a recent grad. I have over ten years experience plus a degree.

aibu to think this is unfair?

Yep, or an assumption that I was put through university and 'know the right people' because of my privileged upbringing and that's why I have a good job.

Reality being that I don't have a degree, was raised by working class parents with debt collectors knocking on the door, lost my mum when I was 21 and my dad when I was 28, worked from the age of 15, was working 5 nights a week and weekends while studying for A-levels and other than the 9 months I was on mat leave have never had a period without a job.

Despite having had no breaks in my work history and having current relevant experience, I still wouldn't expect to walk in to the first job I interviewed for and if I were unsuccessful I wouldn't assume that it was because I'm a mum.

It was a man who said it but there was a female manager next to him at the time.

Many of my friends have had children after they were 35. So it was quite a weird statement to make. (Tech industry)

(sorry I am struggling to tag people who responded to me as the new MN website is glitchy & slow!)

Ha I'm just hiring a 35yo woman and I would not be surprised one bit if she went on maternity leave in the coming years. What planet are those people on who think 35 is past childbearing age?

I'd say it's only a minority of 'office' type jobs where people can set their own timetable. These may be disproportionately represented on MN, but they're certainly not the majority in society as a whole.

Agree with this. Also (speaking as someone with one of these super-flexible jobs), they don't tend to start out this flexible on day 1. I can work whatever hours I like, from home, because I spent years working extremely long hours in the office and so built up a relationship of trust with my colleagues.

I have a flexible role too but as a PP says it’s taken years and years to build up to this.

Things have changed now and I see the public sector are now wanting to work abroad so that they don’t use their precious annual leave up. Hopefully they will be kicked into touch…

@Despinetta I agree!

After 6 years of being reliable, trustworthy and ‘diligent’ as they describe me I am essentially free to pick my hours and the tasks that I want to work on.

it’s a two way street, they have said there swill always be a job there for me because it’s hard to find good people - you can train good people to do things they couldn’t before but you can’t instil good qualities in someone that doesn’t have them already as an employer

I had this when I was looking for jobs after being made redundant on maternity leave and it came down to me and a lady 50 plus in this instance. It was all going so well (third interview) and then I mentioned I had children - room went frosty then. I was angry at the time but I don’t want to work anywhere that doesn’t understand my situation, or value my contribution.
I now have a part time job that is epic, pays well and celebrates I have children. So all works out in the end. Hopefully same for you.

previoysly (before I had children) though we recruited a role and it came down to sahm and graduate and we went with the graduate as it was felt the sahm who had previously managed a department would want to take over - I now realise she probably just wanted a simpler role to step back in with her other commitments etc - so don’t let it knock your confidence - it’s not your ability!

What - an entire public sector? Really?? No private sector staff doing that?

So major update!

I had an interview Friday for a role that’s very similar to what I did previously and the pay is great. Small ish company, the owners said they have small kids and can be flexible because they understand etc. Phone call this morning offering me the role! I’ve gladly accepted it. I’m over the moon.

For anyone who thinks you can’t take time off to raise your kids and get back to a career, you can. After being off for 8 years I’ve managed to find a new role after two interviews. Self belief always wins x

Hurray! We’ll done, OP!🎉🎊

Thank you @Cameleongirl

Amazing update!

Congratulations op! Shocked at some of the sneery responses you got previously

Wow brilliant well done 👏🏻

Well done OP. Good luck in your new job.

@Regularsizedrudy haha I know 🙈 I expected it though.

Congratulations! I too have just started back at work after 10 years off as a stay at home parent. Managed to get a professional role doing what I did before, albeit at a more junior level than previously. The more junior level is my choice because I want part time work. Working 3 days a week with hybrid home/office. Having time off with your kids is important to a lot of parents (and more importantly, the children) and not something to be sneered at. It's important to let women know that they can take time off with their children and step back into work if they wish.

Yay! Brilliant news