To not get a job because I’m a sahm

[velvetcandy]

So after 8 years being a sahm I’ve decided to go back to work. Had a very good interview last week, the role was actually half the salary I had before I had kids and a lower position but still the same area of work etc.

the feedback was, that I was perfect but they were worried because I’ve been out of work for so long so gave the job to a recent grad. I have over ten years experience plus a degree.

aibu to think this is unfair?

I'm surprised they were so honest but can understand their logic to some extent

Its really difficult to know if you have been treated unfairly without knowing the specific industry and how much things have moved on in the past 7 years

That's kind of the way interviews work - they pick the person who best fits their criteria. If they wanted someone with recent experience, then you are not it.
Other employers will be happy to consider your pre-SAHM experience.

or you could look to boost your CV by taking on a volunteering role?

Were you able to demonstrate how you had kept up to date with tech/ industry?

Is it a job where you have to be very up to date with recent events or a job that never really changes much? Does sound shit, sorry OP. Here's to the next one 🤞

Hey, yea I get that etc but what they were asking I have extensive experience with and could go in and pick it back up. I can’t help but feel it’s the kids, I said the hours are fine apart from one day a week I need to be in at work at 9 instead of 8.30, only one day and they didn’t seem to happy. Even though I said I could work later that day. Oh well.

Yes it’s unfair.

But they may see you as moving in quickly as you have experience and twice the salary in a previous job and may be bored after a while.

It may push you now to apply for higher paid positions.

It is unfair and also discouraging for women to get back to work after kids!

Maybe! Although my confidence has been knocked now

what they were asking I have extensive experience with and could go in and pick it back up.

And did you convince them of that? What have you done to keep your skills up? Is your experience still relevant to the skills required today?

What have you don’t yo keep up with cpd and technical developments whist you’ve been a SAHM. Did you convey that to them?

to be fair I’m pretty fluent in everything they asked for. I think it was my kids lol

I said the hours are fine apart from one day a week I need to be in at work at 9 instead of 8.30

How was this phrased to them? There's a difference between telling them straight up you can't do the hours requested versus asking if there is any room for negotiation on hours

That's a long time to be out of the game so to speak, look at how tech has changed.

Obviously I said all the hours were fine just that one day a week due to family circumstances I can be in half an hour later and work half an hour longer or not take a break that day. @

did you talk a lot about your kids in the interview… because that would be be relevant.
If there was someone with more recent experience who was able to work the required hours it’s not really surprising they’ve gone for them. You can ask for changes to hours but they don’t have to grant them. I’ve worked for places where the start time was the start time and that was hard and fast for everyone

That is not the time to discuss hours anf issues because of childcare. You gave them a reason to not employ you essentially

Keep trying!

If they were funny about ONE day with a half hour start time, they would most probably give you shit every time you had a childcare emergency.

The right job is out there I promise!

I suspect your instinct is correct. Easier to employ someone without kids who won't ask for the odd morning late, or leave early for sports day or the school play, or wants the holidays off etc. Discrimination but very hard to prove. Good luck with your next interview, someone will soon realise they are getting a good deal with all your experience and enthusiasm to get back to your career.

They asked about the hours and I was honest and said that one day!

they gave it to a grad with no experience over my ten years play experience plus my degree

oh well

Thank you @abricotine

It's a job interview. You don't need to and really shouldn't mention your children. I can see that talking about your kids and asking for different hours (wait for them to offer the job before you do this) would make you sound like someone who might be flaky.

Have you kept up to date with all software/updates/tech advances etc?

We had a similar situation where someone had been out of work for a while and talked about what they used to use Excel/PowerBI for. Their explanations seemed quite out of date, and they said they would be rusty but hoped to pick it back up.

We had another similar candidate who had also been out of work but had independently done a couple of courses to get themselves up to speed, and explained how they realised how much things had changed in data.

Candidate 2 had far less experience but we went with them.

I agree it's discrimination and their loss. You have dodged a bullet I'd say, if that is their attitude.

Advice: don't sell yourself short. Going for roles beneath you/big salary drop may make you appear lacking in self-confidence or raise alarm bells that you don't think you'll cope with a full time job.

Good luck with your job hunt and don't give up!

@redskyatnight I don’t think so. It’s an obvious fact My life’s been child oriented for the last few years. They can see that from my CV and the gap. It’s an obvious talking point in the interview. People who have childcare issues aren’t flaky, that’s completely the wrong view. Additionally they asked about the hours and I was honest, to be fair 30mins on day a week is nothing compared to a lot of working mums who do both pick ups

Thank you @LollyLol