To go to a child's birthday party without a gift?

[Slagertha]

Dc has been invited to a birthday party, I've never not taken a gift when it's been a child's birthday party but currently have no money whatsoever. Would it be unreasonable/cheeky/embarrassing to still take dc? They really want to go but I feel put off because of this! X

You are fine. If money is that tight that a present is not a priority.

I doubt anyone will even notice, and if they do they they won't think anything bad about it.

That is a shocking attitude. Appalling.

' . . . it's all about the gifts with children let's face it, that's all they are bothered about. If you can't afford a gift then you shouldn't go - my opinion'

Not my kids. Not decent kids. Tragic to be so acquisitive that you'd rather a hard-up friend didn't come.

As a host I would so much rather you came with no present than the kids missed out on some fun! If you know the parents well you could tell them but I think it’s fine x

One of the parents at DS’ party didn’t bring a gift, he’s a single father and apologised, said he was embarrassed and had nothing. I said not to worry and I’m just glad he made the effort to bring DS friend to the party.

he also didn’t get a gift off one of the other children but we didn’t say anything and neither did his mum. Again, not bothered.

He’s got enough tat lying around the house to be honest. And he’s young enough to not know any different anyway. Anyone who makes a fuss about it in the current climate is a bit of a twat tbh.

I don't agree with this at all.

My dc wanted to host their friends for a party, that was what was important for them. They liked presents, but a few more or less would have had no impact.

Not answering the question but hopefully this will help:
qm.ee/F04EAEA4
I use this app to do paid surveys on my phone. It’s not a lot but it’s the difference between affording a gift and not in your case, it’s dead easy, you can withdraw any amount even pennies direct to your PayPal account instantly. Ive done a few today while baby was napping and made £4.53. It’s never going to find my early retirement but when you’re on the bones of your arse it’s a lifesaver. Just an idea. Take care x

Thanks everyone for your comments. No idea why the post was reported! I genuinely wanted opinions. I ended up borrowing a tenner for a card and a small gift. It's the first bday party dc has been invited to so I didn't want them to miss out or go empty handed.
Thankfully I'm starting a new job after May half term that's full time rather than part time so hoping we won't have to go long periods without money after that!!

Do you have any art and craft stuff? If so could your dd make her friend a colourful poster, or maybe decorate an old shoe box or something as a treasure box? Either way she should absolutely go to the party, only a right old scrooge would be bothered about the birthday child not getting a gift. Most likely they won't even notice.

Thanks for this! I do use curious cat for surveys sometimes but it takes me ages to build it up to any substantial amount! X

Cross Post. Good luck with the job.

I wouldn't care or notice if someone turned up without a gift.

I would bring a card. A handmade one is fine.

Definitely go! I wouldn't care and would hate to think a child didn't turn up for this reason. I would be more upset if friends didn't come.

I'd get your child to make a card and see if there's anything on freecycle or marketplace that you can ask for and take along.

But honestly no-one needs to feel pressured to bring a present. The birthday child wants their friends there and is unlikely to be bothered about presents from them.

Aww OP, I would much prefer a child came without a present than didn't come at all. Hope your DS enjoys the party.

In my experience the child will be so caught up in the party / excitement they won't have a clue who bought them what..

As a host I would much prefer them to come with no present than be a no show.. in the nicest way I would 100% also prefer no present to tat. If you wanted to get something small I think edible is the way forward as at least it would get used...

I would do a homemade card with a voucher for a day out - something cheap and fun (like a nature adventure in the woods, or den building in the woods) etc...

Act shocked and say you forgot it at the party, then promise to bring it along to school.. When you can afford it pick something up and take it to the school gates.

Get your kid to make a hand made card, if lots of kids going to the party I’ll doubt they’d even notice and won’t know who’s present is from who! Don’t arrive first!

A handmade card would be perfect and maybe a small packet of sweets after payday or a £1 gift after payday. I’d be so sad if one of my kids friends didn’t attend for this reason. I’d far prefer no gift. My kids always keep home made cards in their memory boxes.

Wilkos sometimes had very cheap craft kits which are nice for younger kids. Bracelets, suncatchers etc.

www.wilko.com/en-uk/stationery-craft/arts-crafts/art-craft-sets/c/1261?page=1&pageSize=24

they start at about £1.25.

I'd be perfectly happy for my son's friend just to be there. Handmade picture maybe. It's enjoying your child with their chosen friends.

Like cardsharkie said a ‘voucher’ is good. An afternoon playing at the park. Or playing football. Den building in your garden. Mine would love any of them.

I definitely wouldn’t mind, I’ve had a child come without a present and it was fine with me

I've hosted and been to loads of parties over the years with my kids, and honestly I really wouldn't mind if you came with no presents, all I'd want is for your child to be at the party because presumably they'd be friends with mine due to the fact they're coming!
Do you have a Card Factory near you? You can get really nice birthday cards for 29p in them.
As for presents if you really thought you wanted to take something, and had 2 pounds spare, maybe go to Poundland and get a big bag of sweets and a bar of chocolate.

100% take your child - no question about that. No one will judge you.

I'd definitely do a homemade card, and if possible, I'd try to cobble a gift together from stuff I had already in the house. Not so much re-gifted stuff, as imaginatively packaged everyday items e.g. If you have some seeds in the shed, pop some in a paper bag and write a tag "plant me in the soil! Water me every day and watch me grow!", or if you have some popcorn kernels, put them in a paper bag with a tag "Ask Mum to put these in a saucepan with a bit of oil. When she heats them up you'll get a delicious big explosion!" etc. Other things might be ingredients for cakes/ingredients for honeycomb etc. Basically whatever you already have in the house. (A library book on home science experiments or home crafts for kids may give you some inspiration!)

But definitely take your child.