To go to a child's birthday party without a gift?

[Slagertha]

Dc has been invited to a birthday party, I've never not taken a gift when it's been a child's birthday party but currently have no money whatsoever. Would it be unreasonable/cheeky/embarrassing to still take dc? They really want to go but I feel put off because of this! X

What's the age of the child and what type of party? If it's a whole class soft play type of thing you'll be fine without a gift as those things are a 'dump the gift on a table' job. (They'd probably not notice or think they lost it at the venue) If it's a smaller party or one at home I've known kids open the presents during the party so it's just worth thinking of things like that - giving the parents a heads up could avoid this. Because as much as it shouldn't matter and no one will care you don't want anyone in an awkward situation. It's all well and good saying to give an iou but this could be uncomfortable if the kids are older and talk about what they got also you'll get some parents who make a big thing of thank you letters etc

I didn't read all the posts but the ones I did said you should bring something - I really disagree.

Make a card, sure, but no need to bring anything. Really.

And if you want to, you can just say breezily, that you hadn't a chance to pick something up but will do.

I'm sorry things are tough & hope they improve. No-one sane would want a child to miss a party for this reason 💐

I've said 'No gifts' - and most people ignored it 😂🙄 but I don't think anyone thought it was weird. I now just make it clear gifts are not expected, or whatever: 'a fiver; a bag of Haribo; sweet FA - it's all good.'

The MOST tone-deaf post on the thread. 😡

Seriously! OP doesn't have a handy stash of gifts in brand new packaging. 🙄

Definitely go!

Take a homemade card.

Tbh they probably won’t even notice, every party we’ve had by kid rips all the labels off and there’s always a couple of things I never work out who they were from.

Other option which I have used a few times is to regift something - do you have a new looking kids book your DC won’t miss?

Honestly op don't stress yourself out about it. I for one don't throw my child a party for her to receive lots of gifts. I invite her friends so they can play together and she has fond memories. Don't feel the need to explain yourself to the parents or anyone else either.
Unless you want to confide in them of course but your finances are no one else's business.

I very much doubt the kids would even notice! I've never been to a kids party where presents were opened in front of everyone.
Take your children and let them enjoy the party

My son had a 11 birthday party last summer in the house. We had a few close friends over of my sons. One girl brought home made brownies as a gift. What a lovely idea. My son was thrilled with them.

I think PP I’d talking about regifting an unopened Christmas/birthday gift - which would be fine if you have anything suitable around.

OP, I would hate to think that any of my DCs friends wouldn’t come because they feel they need to bring a gift. A homemade card would be lovely, but we genuinely want presence not presents.

Please don't do it. A packet of Haribo will do nicely!

You can make a card out of a piece of paper.

Most kids would prefer 2 x 10p packs of sweets to most presents!

Surely you've got an overdraft?

Take dc to the party with a homemade card - I’d be very happy for my dc to receive this.

if you’d feel better you could also text or quietly mention it to the parent.

it should be about the friendship and celebration not the gift.

I think its definitely rude if it's a party at a business setting rather than a home party. Parents have to pay alot of money per head and I'd be seriously pissed off if someone turned up empty handed, plus it's all about the gifts with children let's face it, that's all they are bothered about. If you can't afford a gift then you shouldn't go - my opinion

Just a handmade card is fine!

As a Mum, I'd much rather your kid came along than got my DD a gift. I wouldn't even notice x

Also, teaching my child that it's her friends that matter, not "stuff". She would be so sad if a friend didn't come along because they couldn't buy her something. Imo.

I think PP I’d talking about regifting an unopened Christmas/birthday gift - which would be fine if you have anything suitable around.

Yes I know.

But that poster wrote:
I keep stuff in a drawer on standby for party gifts and raffles etc I have a stash and card factory do 10 cards for £1 and a big roll of wrap for £1

It's really unlikely OP has such a stash, given her post here. Most people facing the level of stress OP clearly is dong have a handily organised drawer of cards & spare presents.

It's really not getting the picture.

Surely you've got an overdraft?

Are some people here just thick?

You are not a nice person then. 'Seriously pissed off' 😳😳😳

But your child shouting that at anyone is embarrassing.

This isn't true. All the kids' parties we go to including my own child's the kids have the best time running about and bouncing and seeing one another. It's about that, not the presents.

I would see if there is anything I had to regift in this situation, like a soft toy, a book or a jigsaw puzzle. What's the difference between that and a charity find except the cost?

Or you could make something if your crafty (or even if your not!)? A card, a sock puppet, some kind of junk model?

I feel like it's important for your child to not go open handed as much as anything, but that some of the most personal gifts are preloved. Some of my most prized possessions are second hand books given to me by loved ones.

I have had children's parties where guests haven't sent a present, it's not so strange. Don't feel you have to borrow money 💐

In the past I’ve turned up without a gift and then said “oh no I’ve forgotten it!” Then when I had money, turn up with said present