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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go to a child's birthday party without a gift?

285 replies

Slagertha · 11/05/2022 15:38

Dc has been invited to a birthday party, I've never not taken a gift when it's been a child's birthday party but currently have no money whatsoever. Would it be unreasonable/cheeky/embarrassing to still take dc? They really want to go but I feel put off because of this! X

OP posts:
Sadandfedup2 · 11/05/2022 15:41

You need to take something I would have thought. The works have really cheap books, even a couple of those and a handmade card would be fine.

VioletC · 11/05/2022 15:41

How old is the dc? Just get some cheap tat from Poundland. It would be a bit off to turn up without anything tbh.

BonjourCrisette · 11/05/2022 15:43

I wouldn't mind if it was my child's party. Particularly if I knew you were having money troubles. Do you know the parents? Could you let them know?

Needmorelego · 11/05/2022 15:43

When you say 'no money' do you literally mean it or could you get to a Card Factory and buy a 29p card and get a packed of sweets (like those 39p/ 3 for a £1 ones you get in newsagents)

abblie · 11/05/2022 15:43

Agree few novelty items from poundshop or b&m

choosername1234 · 11/05/2022 15:43

It's tricky I understand that. As a host, I don't think I would even notice if a guest didn't bring a present. However would your child notice that they were the only one not bringing a gift? Even a packet of sweets or a bar of chocolate wrapped up just so they have something to hand over? But ultimately if you can't afford a present, yes still go to the party

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 11/05/2022 15:44

If someone had come to my childs birthday party without a present because of that reason then I'd have been fine with it - I'd maybe have appreciated a heads up in advance though so I could stop any embarrassing moments of my child shouting out 'where's my present!?'

Otherwise could you regift something that's nearly new, look out for something on facebook market place or a charity shop? If not I think I'd ask my child to make a nice picture or card to show you've put some thought in and throw in a couple of sweets into the envelope if you can

KeyWorker · 11/05/2022 15:45

I think a handmade card and a bag of sweets is fine. Do you have stickers or craft bits at home? A £1 bag of sharing sweets is fine as is supermarkets own brand which may be a few pence cheaper. If the sweets are a push then just a card will be fine.

KeyWorker · 11/05/2022 15:45

I also meant to add, you won’t be the only parent worrying about affording a gift.

12yearsinazkaban · 11/05/2022 15:46

just go. how sad for 2 children to miss out because of something as stupid as a cheap piece of tat.
if you're really embarrassed can you find a pound to get a pack of sweets?

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 11/05/2022 15:46

It's DDs birthday on Saturday, she wants all of her friends together playing and celebrating her birthday. She's talked about the bouncy castle, the food, the music, who's coming, what she'll wear...... not once has she mentioned presents from her friends. Get your DC to make a card, I really don't think that any reasonable parent would have a problem with there being no present.

4intheCorner · 11/05/2022 15:47

DS party is very soon and I've told him that whilst gifts are nice, not everyone may bring one. Times are hard, everyone is cutting back so I have no expectations on gifts. For anyone who asked I've just said a £1 hot wheels car would be OK.

Would the party child and parents notice? Every party we have been to presents have been left on a table, we could easily have got away without bringing something and no one would have noticed.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 11/05/2022 15:47

I’d echo the heads up, not to explain yourself but children can be really daft and blunt.
but could you stretch to a 50p card and some sweets?

TokyoSushi · 11/05/2022 15:47

Yes agree card & sweets would be fine. If you can't do that, perhaps just send the Mum a quick text, I would absolutely understand if this was somebody coming to one of my DC parties and certainly wouldn't want your DC to miss out, in fact I'd be mortified if they did miss out and that was the reason.

12yearsinazkaban · 11/05/2022 15:50

abblie · 11/05/2022 15:43

Agree few novelty items from poundshop or b&m

this is the worst
you shouldn't buy something because it's the done thing. the worst part about parties isn't the mess or the organising if food or games, it's having the fake grateful for loads of presents you don't have space to store.

stand out op and go with nothing! my children recieved a handmade card from their friend and its sat in their bedroom (months later) pride of place! it'll be kept far longer than the accompanying gift.

DarkFuckeryoftheHumanHeart · 11/05/2022 15:50

DD has been invited to loads of parties these last couple of months, and money is so so tight at the moment, I've really worried about the presents. Worried I will be judged, DD will be judged etc, I have had to buy little gifts from the Range and shops like that , but it is still money I don't have, and it makes me anxious.

FatEaredFuck · 11/05/2022 15:51

I would definitely want a child to enjoy themselves and come to my kid's party. I would hate to think anyone would miss out due to costs.

Do the old "Forgot present sorry!". But card and bag of sweets is great if you can afford it, bonus points if the kid can draw a picture - they are always my favourite gifts!

Original poster
Slagertha · 11/05/2022 15:53

Unfortunately when I say no money I literally mean 0p. Things are really tight at the moment. Il have to see If someone can send me a fiver to borrow until payday x

OP posts:
Favouritefruits · 11/05/2022 15:53

Nobody will even notice if you don’t take a gift, the birthday child want your child to go to their party to play not for the gift, the party child won’t even notice lack of gift. If I was the party mum I wouldn’t care. Could you hand make a card?

HanSB · 11/05/2022 15:54

Can your child make a card and choose a book/toy they love to pass on? At the very least, a handmade card would be lovely.

I would message the parent and just ask - say your child would love to attend but would they mind as unfortunately you cannot afford a gift. I think most people would be understanding and I hate having an extra 30 presents with class parties.

Vallmo47 · 11/05/2022 15:54

I agree with poster who said about picking up a 29p card and some sweets. I could never send my child empty handed, there would be something little I’d cut out for myself before letting my child go empty handed to a party. They might not have a lot of money either but they’ve still paid for your child to attend so absolutely would have to give something, however small.

Heartofglass12345 · 11/05/2022 15:54

I wouldn't worry about it honestly. There's usually a big pile of gifts and the child isn't going to know if they've not had one off one person. Please still take them as I expect they will all have a lovely time Flowers

KylieCharlene · 11/05/2022 15:55

The dc should definitely go to the party.
I'd encourage them to make a card or if they weren't up for that I'd buy one of the 29p ones from Card Factory.
A gift really isn't necessary but if possible I'd buy a box of malteasers or a pack of felt-tips from the poundshop (depending on age obviously).
If it was my child's Birthday all I'd want as a parent is for the children who my child had invited to turn up and have fun.

Despinetta · 11/05/2022 15:57

Honestly don't worry about it. It's really not uncommon for kids not to bring something, for all sorts of reasons. Your DC could make a homemade card if you can be arsed with that, otherwise just go. No need to explain yourself either.

darlingdodo · 11/05/2022 15:59

Get your child to make a card, and have they any small toys/books which they don't play with and look like new that could be wrapped.

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