To go to a child's birthday party without a gift?

[Slagertha]

Dc has been invited to a birthday party, I've never not taken a gift when it's been a child's birthday party but currently have no money whatsoever. Would it be unreasonable/cheeky/embarrassing to still take dc? They really want to go but I feel put off because of this! X

Don't borrow money you don't have to buy a present for a kid who's getting a ton and ultimately won't notice.

How old are they? Can you get your DC to make a card? Piece of paper folded in half, draw a picture and then make an envelope out of a second piece.

Honestly I'd just want my kids friends to be there.

When is payday?

Look at it another way. If it were your child’s birthday party, would you rather their friends didn’t attend than attended without gifts?

Of course you wouldn’t. You’d want your child to have a lovely party with their friends. People don’t throw parties for their children just to receive gifts!

Get you ds to make a card and pre warn the mum. Why not offer to have the birthday child round to your house for a play date in the near future instead of a gift.

Fair enough, you'd rather not be there to celebrate together with them in that situation. But wouldn't you rather a friend turned up giftless than not turn up at all?

Honestly, don’t spend £5. My little boy was chuffed to bits when gifted a bag of Haribo (£1). He sat with a bowl full watching TV happy as Larry.

It was £7 a head for my little boys party, and 4 children didn’t turn up. I’d much rather they’d of come completely empty handed rather than me literally throw £28 down the drain.

Im sorry things are so tight, times are tough and absolutely everybody is feeling the pinch.

Take care and chin up!

Handmade card and a box of maltesers? You can usually get them for £1.

Do kids really sit there staring at who puts what o ntbe present pile? I'd be mortified if my child could tell me who had and hadn't brought presents to someone else's party.

Cannot believe what I’m reading on here, please don’t buy anything!. I’d never notice who did and didn’t bring anything to my childrens parties. Nobody would be rude enough to say that you didn’t take anything. Just get you your child to do a drawing. Don’t let your kids miss out over a gift that won’t even be remembered next month

@DrinkFeckArseBrick - your child would shout "where is my present?"!

Make something or draw a pic and put it in an envelope . It's incredibly rude to not bring a gift to a party. I once had a invitee bring her brother to a paid per person party with no gift ! No apology just let him plough in with thr small kids and eat all the food .. some people really have no manners!

I would never expect a gift - when eldest ds had friends over for his last birthday (they were 11/12) one of them gave him a couple of books (from his bookshelf) and a hand made card. He looked sheepish but ds came out with the best line - thank you for remembering I wanted to read that and oh I wanted to try that! Later found out single mum with a dad inside. It is the thought. So home made card and thank you for the invite message. If the parent does comment it says more about them than you.

Stop saying the OP has to bring a gift when they can’t afford it!

Honestly i don’t know when this nonsense started. We did not get gifts from children at primary school. It’s too much

We are not hard up and I dislike my child receiving presents on her birthday which she doesn’t need. I wish we could get rid of this social convention.

Don't borrow money.
I'd text the mum beforehand, just to save any embarrassment. I don't know anyone who would care about this as they'd want their dc to have a nice time.
Make a card, if you can. There are some really good simple ideas on YouTube. You could pop some sweets in.
How old is the birthday child? When one of my dc was 7, someone gave him a card with a pound coin stuck in it. He was thrilled to bits.

I wouldn't mind at all, please don't worry about it. I would hate the thought of someone not coming because they can't afford a present, the children are our guests. Also, the present my child would most like is a bar of chocolate!

I wouldn't stress. From memory, two or three kids didn't bring anything at my son's most recent party: I think at least one pleaded disorganization, while another was an EOW dad who didn't know about the norty until the last minute. Of those, one gave a tenner in a card the following week. The others didn't, IIRC. Neither my son nor I gave a shit. At the most event party we went to, I put the card containing a tenner with the other presents. Nobody would've known if it was 'just' a card, and nobody was watching at any rate.

Please send your kid, with a card. Things are tough all over, and they're wanted there. They'll have a nice time.

I wouldn't send a child without a gift even if it is a token one. The adults will be fine more than likely but I wouldn't want anything said by another child or the birthday child that could potentially upset them.

I dislike my child receiving presents on her birthday which she doesn’t need.

While I know it can sound a bit curmudgeonly, I feel the same. We had a debate here about asking people, if they had some spare money, to make a donation to the red cross Ukraine appeal anonymously in lieu of presents but that's as bad as stipulating presents, really. I just wish this pressure didn't exist for people. Needless, pointless stress.

Absolutely still take them! As plenty of others have said, it's their presence that's requested, not their presents. Homemade card is the way to go, and your kids will probably love making it for them. Don't borrow money, it's an unnecessary expense you can't afford at the moment. Everyone is very aware how tight money is for a hell of a lot of the country right now.

i don’t expect anything at my kids party if they have one. I think the parents would be knobs if they were offended, everyone’s circumstances are different

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time - I think you should take your child to the party with a home made birthday card and let your child have fun

Card factory do books for £1, that and a card would be more than enough.

Anything at home you can regift? A lot of puzzles and games don’t come in any wrapping or are unsealed. A good condition book at home you can pass on or soft toy?

I would be absolutely mortified if I’d invited a child to my dc party and they were as worried as you are. Don’t buy anything if you can’t.

Just tell the mum the truth and offer to stay and help supervise. She will love you forever!