To go to a child's birthday party without a gift?

[Slagertha]

Dc has been invited to a birthday party, I've never not taken a gift when it's been a child's birthday party but currently have no money whatsoever. Would it be unreasonable/cheeky/embarrassing to still take dc? They really want to go but I feel put off because of this! X

Can you message one of the parents. I got a message one year saying their child couldn’t come to my child’s party as they had no money for a gift.

I told them to please come as friends were more important than presents. I’d hate a child not to come for that reason. I’d imagine the party parents will be the same.

I've raised four kids and five since truly amazing and ridiculously expensive parties. It wasn't just for my kids, I wanted their friends to have a brilliant time too. Never ever EVER has a kids needed a card or a gift to attend. I even added "while presents are nice, it's your presence we want more. Please let us know if you need to add siblings etc ". I would have felt awful if I've of her friends didn't turn up because they couldn't afford a gift.

Op homemade card, seriously please take your LO along.
Kids have missed out on so much because of covid to miss out on a party because of a gift is mean.

Is there no unwanted gifts your children have they haven't bothered with you could give? If not the child will likely get a stack of presents. A lot are struggling right now I'm sure you won't be the only one. I wouldn't be bothered the child won't even notice. Most open gifts after the party these days anyway.

My DS' party is this weekend.

If this was someone coming to his party I would just rather they came and the children have a nice time, DS doesn't need presents.

I would invite friends to Ds party because he likes them . Not because presents are expected. It breaks my heart to hear you are in this situation .

I would hope someone would say to me ‘ I’m so sorry but we have no disposable income but I want my darling child to come as he really likes x’

That explanation with a home made card would absolutely be fine . I would never speak a word of it to anyone else and respect the parent for being honest so their child could attend a party of his friend .

x

I wouldn’t mind if it was my child’s party. If you feel self conscious about not taking anything, then I would give a card and apologise and say the present will come later. But in my experience, kids get loads of bloody presents at parties, tear them all open as soon as the party is over, and parents have no idea who gave what (or who didn’t)!

I personally wouldn't show up to any party without any gift. It doesn't have to be extravagant just a gesture

This is the best idea of them all.
I'm surprised the amount of people suggesting kids must bring gifts to a birthday party even if from a pound shop etc.
I totally disagree. I always add when sending birthday party invites "No need for any gifts". I actually mean it. My children have everything. They don't need more stuff.
And I also hate clutter in the house. Why getting something in the pound shop or sweets?
OP don't worry about it, normal people don't expect gifts at least that's my view. I hope you solve your financial situation soon, don't go to the pound shop.

Absolutely just a home-made card would be spot on. Love the invitation for a play date or a park trip - great idea. Regifting something is also good if your child would be embarrassed to go empty-handed. Or a simple home-made craft (look on Pinterest for ideas).

Please don't give something of your DC's that's not been used. If the friends parents can afford a party, their DC will have presents. If you're struggling, it wouldn't be fair to take something from your DC that you might not be able to afford to replace.

When my DS was small I used to hope that people didnt give him presents. He had so many colouring books, pencils etc. I also would hate someone spending money they didnt have on it. I used to often say if you would like to give then a pound for his money box would be great.

A home made card and a chocolate bar would have gone down well.

I dont think my DS even noticed the presents. He just wanted his friends there.

Things are difficult at the moment. Please try to not add extra pressure on yourself.

Just take him/her. Birthday child won’t even notice and tbh I’d rather a child came and had fun rather than them not because they can’t afford a present. Honestly don’t worry about it OP.

For the Junior Engineer's parties we've always put in the card no gift necessary, the joy of your company is enough!
We've had some right peculiar (but kindly meant) gifts over the years and to be honest I'd rather people came and had fun than worried about bringing presents. It's lovely if they can but having friends there is more important.

Agree with others, don't feel pressured to borrow money for this. I like the idea of a homemade card and an invite to go play at the park but even that isn't required. If you feel like you need to explain I bet the mum won't bat an eyelid

What age/sex is the party child?

Do you have anything you can re-gift?

@Slagertha where abouts are you? Maybe someone on here is local to you and has a spare pack of sweets or something you could take as a gift! :) I have a drawer of cards etc so if you’re local to me I can help out :)

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest and from my experience no gifts are opened at the party and birthday child doesn't really know what is from who. I'd probably let the party mum know that you won't be able to bring a gift and is it still ok for your child to go. Unless she is an absolute arsehole I can't imagine she would say no.

Another vote for don’t worry about the present unless you can regift something your own child/children doesn’t want.
My children got some right old tat from some friends when they had parties or sometimes nothing but it didn’t matter at all. Let kids be kids and have fun and not be affected by adult problems

People stress far more about people turning up than they do about presents. Dont stress about it.

Homemade card containing an invitation for ice cream over the summer and maybe some flowers from the garden for birthday child’s mum? That’s what I’d do.

Personally as the host I would rather have children come to the party and enjoy themselves rather than add to a pile of presents. I'd go to the party, just get your child to make a card if they can? I find it really sad you are stressing so much over this, I'd feel really bad if I found out someone wasn't going to come to my child's party for this reason, please take them.

My DD will have her birthday the week after next. I've invited her friends etc and frankly, she's so excited to have them for a party. Please, please don't not go for this reason. DD hasn't said a single word about presents but she's super excited to have her friends to play. It's all that matters. Honestly. Imagine if you gave a party and nobody came, especially for such a reason!

If you must, bring a card so that your child has something in their hands going in. A home made one would be lovely. If you must do a present, what about making a simple frame from lolly sticks with a picture of the kids in it? Or something like that?

Handmade card and a glittery invitation for a play date at yours??

@DrinkFeckArseBrick you have bigger issues than the financial situations of peers if you child goes around shouting “where are my presents”