To go to a child's birthday party without a gift?

[Slagertha]

Dc has been invited to a birthday party, I've never not taken a gift when it's been a child's birthday party but currently have no money whatsoever. Would it be unreasonable/cheeky/embarrassing to still take dc? They really want to go but I feel put off because of this! X

I would never want someone to get I to debt for this!

Someone came to my DCs party without a gift because they were having a lot going on in their life at the time, and didn’t have the time to buy one. I was totally fine with that. I was aware of her personal situation. It’s not about the gift, my DC wanted her friend at the party.
If you’re not comfortable with doing that you could always say that you forgot to bring it on the day, and give them something at a later date. I have actually done that more than once, as in we were in such a rush to get out the door I really did forget the gift. Or do you think you might have a colouring book etc stashed somewhere in the house?
on a slightly different note I was really upset when I found out a friend didn’t come to my wedding because they couldn’t afford a gift, I didn’t even want a gift.

My DS8 recently had a party, and we talked about this before, about how some people might not be able to bring a present. 12 friends came. 4 brought wrapped gifts and 8 just cards. In 6 of the cards there was money and 2 just cards. No one noticed, and DS was totally fine. Please let your DC go and if you can get a 29p card, or make one, great, but if you can’t do that still let them go!

I'd just get something brand new with packaging/ never used I had excess from Christmas/ birthday. I keep stuff in a drawer on standby for party gifts and raffles etc I have a stash and card factory do 10 cards for £1 and a big roll of wrap for £1
It's not just you think about how your child might feel to not take a gift and everyone else can. You don't need to spend a fortune.

29p card from the card factory and a collection of sweets from Aldi.

It would not worry me if anyone turned up without a gift . To anyone saying it's abit off are clearly very lucky to not have to ask this question .

Please don’t worry about a present. But if you’re feeling anxious can you claim the oops running late and left it on the kitchen side trick and then get something small like a chocolate bar or book from the works when you can afford it? I still use this as a 34 year old to be honest with adult birthday party’s when money is short!

I think it’s fine. My DC are young adults now and when they had birthday parties, it was quite common that one or two children didn’t bring a present or even a card. I don’t think my DC noticed.

Wouldn’t upset me at all. We don’t invite kids in the hope of getting presents. My DD wouldn’t notice or care either. The fun is the party!

I have been to a couple of big parties recently and very few parents brought gifts. If you’re embarrassed, get DC to make a card and then ‘forget’ to bring the gift. Then buy them something small at payday.

I would hate for a one of DC’s friends to miss out on enjoying their party just becuase they didn’t have a gift. It’s the party and friends that make the day special. Gifts usually end up in a cupboard waiting to be regifted.

I'd be gutted if a child didn't come to my child's party for this reason - just spend a little time making sure your child does a good job on the homemade card, and turn up with happy faces - that's all the birthday child wants

Could you put an IOU in a card for a treat later on (when you hopefully might have some money), like say a date in the summer holidays at soft play or something that doesn't need to cost too much money, swimming, trampolining etc (depending on age of child).

OR have a look round charity shops for items that look brand new, still in the packaging etc that you could pick up for literally a couple of quid?

I would make a card at home, put it in a envelope and take that. Hope your ok ❤️

Find something, make something, ask on Freecycle, go to a charity shop, but you can’t go empty handed.

Please don't worry about. I would hate to think that one of my child's friends missed out on a party due to money worries especially as they might 'need' the fun more than others if money is too tight for treats.

I think the play date 'voucher' is a lovely idea. My DD would be thrilled with that.

Please go, I know I would want you to come f I was hosting.
A lovely homemade card is sufficient.

OR have a look round charity shops for items that look brand new, still in the packaging etc that you could pick up for literally a couple of quid?

But the OP doesn’t have a couple of quid. She has 0p.

Go to the party - children want to see their friends and have fun together. They get a pile of crap as presents, they won't notice. A handmade card will be lovely and appreciated.

I wouldn’t do it. Not because I think the host parent would be pissed off with you, I think most adults would be understanding.

But children remember these things and they often talk about who gave them what afterwards at school, and I wouldn’t want my child to be thought of as the one that didn’t bring a present by his peers. Children should be able to be understanding and kind about it in most instances, but that would require someone explaining to the child that not everyone can afford birthday presents, and I wouldn’t want my child to be the topic of that conversation either.

If I was the party host I wouldn’t even notice this, nor give it a second thought if I happened to. Your child is invited because the birthday child wants them there, not because they want a gift. Hope they have a super time OP!

The parents don’t mind but are the dc old enough to notice? If so then like literally see if you can scrape £1.50 together and get a Poundland pressie and a 29p card. I know that’s hard so am not trying to belittle your situation at all.

DD (about to turn 5) invited around 30 children to her party but only 25 responded, all saying yes. Absolutely nothing from the other 5, including one of her best friends.

DD told me that this friend is only allowed to go to one party a year. That party was in October, so that’s it for the school year. I thought that sounded a bit far-fetched, but other parents have asked me whether I’ve heard this too.

I’ve wondered whether it’s a financial thing. I don’t know much about the family, but do know they’ve just had a big holiday. I thought maybe there wasn’t much going spare after that.

I would have much preferred no present and presence at the party. It’s really sad if it was about money. That’s not what friendship is for.

My son has a friend who I'm 90% sure doesn't come to parties because of the gift situation. This year I really wanted to add a 'no gifts" to the invite but thought people might find that weird. My son would have rather his friend came 😔
Please just go, if someone judges that's on them.

Hello everyone
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