To judge them a bit?

[Judgeygem]

My friend is 30 and on paper has a life I would envy, has a gorgeous house so much so it has its own Instagram account and lots of followers, goes on nice holidays a lot, plenty of money, cute kids, always dresses nice, always has her nails done! I went to her wedding last year and it was lovely and clearly expensive but I just couldn’t get over her husband. She’s 30 and he’s 45! He is handsome and younger looking than his age but I couldn’t grasp why such an attractive vibrant women would marry someone who’s going to be an old man so soon? I saw them today and couldn’t help but judge them a bit, though they look very happy. AIBU? Why do women shortchange themselves in this way?

Don’t know where she’s shortchanged herself?! 😂 your friend has a great life, and you’re trying to justify your jealousy

Maybe she's fed up of hanging around with 27yo dimwits & fancies slightly more mature conversation and take on life?

It sounds like the olden days, where us women married for security as we were so reliant on a man to support us through life .
The 50s were a splendid age eh?

My mother married someone ten years older than her. They were very happy for 49 years. She's dead now and he's still alive, happy and healthy at 83. You never know what life has in store.

Yes, it's a truth universally acknowledged that a woman who 'always has her nails done' shouldn't be married to a man of 45.

Ageism - the last widely acceptable form of bigotry and prejudice.

Or maybe she’s married for love?

you are so juvenile op

I’m not saying 45 is old but it’s a damn sight older than 30 and she’s in for a shock down the line imo

OP, you'll gain in maturity and you'll likely revise your views as you get a little older.

I'm amazed that a 15 year age gap between people in their 30s and 40s is any kind of news to you, to be honest. I think I know about 5 couples with a similar age gap, off the top of my head. It's just a variation on normal for me.

Bloody hell.

Still, I’ve been judged a lot because dh is 6 years younger than me, and one of his friends laughed at him for marrying an “old woman”. He was 26 and I was 31.

As long as they are both happy, who cares.

Same age gap between me and OH. Unless he dies, I'm pretty I'll be a grumpy ,antisocial and indoors old lady way before him. Mainly because I'm already halfway there .

I remember when my 21 year old neighbour was the topic of many conversations because she still lived at home even though she was so old!

When I was 29 my students said I can’t have tik tok because it’s not for old people. I don’t have it but after that I definitely wouldn’t get it.

60 isn’t an OAP.

I think you need to get out in the world, educate yourself, broaden your life experiences.

You are coming across as narrow minded, sheltered and quite dim.

This

My sister as two beautiful girls she's 37 her husband's 52 there very much in love and he's not old I think you're very jealous or you fancy her man and Envy her life

Probably for the same reason I'm with someone with a similar age gap. He's mature, he's amazing to me, we spend weekends exploring restaurants, we go on vacation and we have the most amazing conversations. Plus, the sex is amazing!
He's going to retire soon and we will take long weekends to go travel and he's looking forward to puttering around the house and having dinner ready for me when I get home.
It works and it's perfect.

🤣 I admit, someone who always has their nails done would be a complete turn-off for me, whatever their age.

Oh op. You’re clinging on desperately here and just sound jealous and resentful.

what’s a waste is a life of bitterness and jealousy.

Her life isn’t a waste. She has an attractive, I assume successful husband she loves and who loves her, gorgeous kids, a beautiful home and lots of money. He could easily out live her and it’s hugely likely they have many happy decades ahead of them, with their children and then their grandchildren.

don’t waste your life like this or be this person. Deeply unhappy people are identifiable immediately, and it sours everything around them.

im sorry you are not happy with your life but even if it makes you feel a little better thinking in thirty years he will be old and she might get hers, it really doesn’t sort your issue. It’s just a fleeting ugly thought.

You come across as very immature. You judge how great someone's life is by their house, their nails & how many 'followers' they have. You ask why some women sell themselves short when all you do is judge women by material possessions and looks.

You sound jealous, the age gap is meaningless, she probably loves him

Fucks sake, you’re nice! My husband was 45 when I married him 30 years ago and we have a 15 year age gap. He’s currently up a ladder out the back (of our very nice house) cleaning the guttering whilst I Mumsnet and recover from my exhausting day!

So glad you aren’t my mate.

But when you're 60 you really won't care. If anything, you'll probably be (a) envious, because they have leisure that you don't, and (b) glad, because it can be really useful having someone with time to look after the house, wait in for post and deliveries, etc. Nowadays a lot of people of 75 are really active.

Well, think about at it. A 45 year old man with have a lot more experience in the boudoir. She’s probably having multiple orgasms all over the place. That’s another thing to get jealous about 😁

Why a shock? What exactly do you think she isn't fully aware of in relation to her situation?

Suppose, for the sake of argument, you end up with someone your own age. You have no guarantee that he won't succumb to some disabling condition or even die young, or that the relationship will last. Might any of that come as a shock to you?