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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think everyone needs to get a bloody grip

309 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 10/05/2022 18:45

Lighthearted -I'm so sick of everyone being so flaky after the pandemic. Last minute cancellations, emails not replied to for far too long, friends being just all a bit wet about everything. Anyone else feeling totally fed up and want to tell everyone to get a bloody grip

OP posts:
PolynesianParadise · 10/05/2022 21:46

Yep there's the medicalisation aspect too. Don't forget there are giant companies waiting to supply their drugs to your kids for the rest of their lives. An anxiety pandemic (if you will) is a drug company's wet dream.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/05/2022 21:47

Thepeopleversuswork · 10/05/2022 21:37

I think you've expressed this insensitively and you're overlooking the fact that the pandemic has had far-reaching consequences for a lot of people.

But I do think there's a germ of truth in what you say. I think the world has become far more tolerant of people being deliberately and pointedly unsociable. There's been a much greater tolerance of the professional introvert, which I am ambivalent about: on the one hand its good that people who struggle with anxiety etc are able to be more open about this but I do think its also become a bit of a stick for introverts to beat up on people who enjoy socialising. I noticed a lot of unpleasant threads on here at the tail end of the pandemic from people banging on about how much they "hate people", how they never want to see anyone again except their own husband and children and how vacuous people who enjoy having a social life are etc.

A lot of resentment has developed in our society about the sort of enforced socialising which goes with the corporate world. It's healthy in some ways to have this backlash because enforced team jollity can be horrific, but this backlash does have quite a spiteful and resentful underbelly as well which I think is partly envy directed at people who are more comfortable with socialising. There's a middle ground between being a social butterfly and a grumpy agoraphobic who only wants to see their own family and I think we've lost track of where that is.

I do think we have got more antisocial generally over the last couple of centuries, as a nation. If you read some of Samuel Pepys Diary or even fictional diaries such as Diary of a Nobody, you get a real sense that people actively sought the company of a wide variety of other people each and every day, just for the sake of socialising and entertaining conversations. Perhaps we'll lose the art of conversation eventually. I certainly think people have become more self-centred over time too.....

lostandjuggling · 10/05/2022 21:48

Over a million people have Long Covid and just can’t go back to pre pandemic.

I’m stuck in bed today. I’d like to have been downstairs and socialising with my family this evening but I’m stuck upstairs in bed because I don’t have the energy to go downstairs.

Try existing, eating, showering parenting, paying bills, without using energy…. Yep it’s impossible.

So sick of hearing ‘we just need to go back to normal’ - just how ffs??

Until I got hit with this I didn’t realise how strong I was!

planetme · 10/05/2022 21:48

Yanbu I've noticed this too

lightand · 10/05/2022 21:49

My most hardened friend as regards covid has just agreed to go out properly, for the first time in 2 and a bit years. Even she has finally softened.
[though she will be straight back to life indoors again if things go the slightest bit pear shaped again].

CloudPine · 10/05/2022 21:50

I’m not sure if it was me or autocorrect that turned pathologising to psychologising. 😬

I mean pathologising.

Badger1970 · 10/05/2022 21:51

Couldn't agree more OP.

lightand · 10/05/2022 21:51

"Over a million people have Long Covid and just can’t go back to pre pandemic".

Sorry, but I dont believe it. I know many people. Apart from myself I know no one else personally. The odds are I should know say 15 people with long covid.

I dont believe official figures, if they indeed official figures. I believe them to be bunkum.

RedMake88 · 10/05/2022 21:51

I’m tired! Everything taking a lot more effort. But I’m not willing to go back to the life of before 100% it was killing DH and I. We have a better balance, see who we want to see. I’ve learnt to say ‘No’

lightisnotwhite · 10/05/2022 21:52

Yabu for using 'flakes' - maybe other people are just beinv kinder to themselves than you are to yourself? There are no prizes for having a stiff upper lip.

Not sure that’s true. People have a lot of respect for others that can hold their shit together. Which doesn’t mean not having a blub in public but does mean turning up and not talking about yourself incessantly.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/05/2022 21:53

lostandjuggling · 10/05/2022 21:48

Over a million people have Long Covid and just can’t go back to pre pandemic.

I’m stuck in bed today. I’d like to have been downstairs and socialising with my family this evening but I’m stuck upstairs in bed because I don’t have the energy to go downstairs.

Try existing, eating, showering parenting, paying bills, without using energy…. Yep it’s impossible.

So sick of hearing ‘we just need to go back to normal’ - just how ffs??

Until I got hit with this I didn’t realise how strong I was!

I took it that we are talking about people who have NOT been adversely affected by COVID itself.

lightand · 10/05/2022 21:54

Trouble is, unless people take time to look into things more, they just believe literally everything MSM tell them to believe.

muppamup · 10/05/2022 21:54

i think it's made a lot of people more introverted but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Realise they enjoy home, quiet, peace etc. That said it's no excuse for letting others down.

Featuredcreature · 10/05/2022 21:59

They really do. Long covid my fucking arse.

Lalliella · 10/05/2022 22:01

Tiredalwaystired · 10/05/2022 19:34

Totally unreasonable. People have weathered all sorts in the last two years

a lot might still be struggling from long covid

a lot might have lost jobs so money is tight

a lot might have significantly increased anxiety

a lot might have changed all their usual childcare patterns as they WFH and do the school run now rather than have a childminder on a regular basis, so have less flexibility

a lot might have new commitments, like a dog

a lot might have lost someone in fairly traumatic circumstances where they couldnt see a family member

a lot might have worked in traumatic circumstances like a hospital where it has fundamentally changed them

and on it goes

Were not going back to how things were. Because covid happened.

Add to that list - perhaps they find the OP somewhat lacking in empathy and don’t want to hang out with them anymore.

Featuredcreature · 10/05/2022 22:02

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MadameTuffington2 · 10/05/2022 22:04

Petros9 · 10/05/2022 20:53

No, I do care about the students and I want them to do well. It's hard to see how they are going to do well if they don't come to school and don't do any work while they are at home. I think the pandemic exacerbated an existing trend in this direction. Everyone has to overcome some level of adversity in life to be successful.

Show quote history

Haha lol - try this - my daughter watched one sibling be sectioned, be remanded in 3 different prisons for 18 months during the pandemic only to be found ‘not guilty’ at trial of a serious explosives charge and had to deal with the whole community discussing it and it being on the News, the death of her beloved Grandad a few months later, her Mum (me) working in healthcare throughout the pandemic and seeing A LOT of death, her sister gaining 3 A*s at A Level and going off to Manchester Uni (they are close) and then a house fire that started in her room (electrical fault) and a period in temporary accommodation. Her Father (my ex) is unemployed and has a cocaine addiction. She is under CAMHS who have assessed her as being in ‘a state of extreme panic’ and her school say she doesn’t meet the criteria to sit exams in a separate room because she has ‘no SEN’ - what to do? Both lockdowns deeply affected my daughter - she was very social, loved school and had 100% attendance - she benefitted from being with her peers in spite of everything else that has transpired so don’t tell me that young people have not been significantly impacted - for some, it has completely hijacked their social and emotional development.

swallowedAfly · 10/05/2022 22:04

You are replying to yourself.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 10/05/2022 22:06

swallowedAfly · 10/05/2022 22:04

You are replying to yourself.

😂😂😂

swallowedAfly · 10/05/2022 22:07

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 10/05/2022 22:06

😂😂😂

Show quote history

People can't even be bothered to change names to sock puppet. See how covid has destroyed the nation??? Grin

Tiredalwaystired · 10/05/2022 22:07

Tryhard40 · 10/05/2022 21:04

Me too OP. I've come to realise I have very low tolerance for people who constantly make excuses in life.
Im sick of snowflakes and weak, lily-livered lazy arses who blame everything on their anxiety. It seems everyone has "anxiety" nowadays.

If that makes me a right bastard then fine, im a bastard!

You’re not necessarily a bastard but you are extremely fortunate you’ve not struggled with anxiety. I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

I say this as the parent of a child with crippling anxiety which has got steadily worse over the last two years.

long may it continue for you OP.

Witchcraftandhokum · 10/05/2022 22:08

I guess you're not unreasonable to feel however you feel. In the same way I wish I had not unwittingly given my 98 year old grandmother covid and put her in hospital with no visitors allowed.

Featuredcreature · 10/05/2022 22:09

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Featuredcreature · 10/05/2022 22:11

Witchcraftandhokum · 10/05/2022 22:08

I guess you're not unreasonable to feel however you feel. In the same way I wish I had not unwittingly given my 98 year old grandmother covid and put her in hospital with no visitors allowed.

Tbh it was the rule that didn't let you in, rather than illness that was your problem.

MadameTuffington2 · 10/05/2022 22:11

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It’s not just about my kid though really is it? It’s about a whole generation that has been fucked over - that was my point - no need to be such an unpleasant bitch - maybe it’s time to leave Mumsnet :)