To think cousin has no self respect

[Glowwormsrockp]

My cousin is throwing a huge 10 year anniversary party this July. I don't understand why as she's never been happy with her dh and during lockdown he lied to her, took money stealthily (they struggle financially so it's not like it's something he could afford) and spent it on Class A drugs, has lied in the past, as some examples. I've tried to broach the subject with her but her immediate reaction is anger. So I've dropped it now.
Aibu to think there's no logic to her thinking? Why flaunt something she is unhappy in? Why make it into a massive party? I don't understand? Aibu in my thinking?

YANBU, I'd think the same but it's her life.

Because she’s trying to put on a brave face rather than wallow.

there might be a milllion reasons why she doesn’t want to/ feels she can’t leave, so chooses to stay even though it’s not what you would do.

And having made that call, she’s making the best of it.

I’n not sure you carping from the sidelines will help.

Head in the sand? If I pretend everything’s ok, if I make it look ok, maybe it will be ok?

You have posted about them quite a few times haven’t you?

I think you felt annoyed that she got back with and didn’t tell you?

I think saying she has no self respect and thinking that is really awful. For whatever reason she doesn’t feel she can split and stay split.

And she wants a party. Loads of people use social events to paper over the problems in their lives.

I think you need to stop judging her

She’s probably trying to have a great party right before she files divorce papers.

Although, I would flip it. File papers then have a divorce party.

Standing on the outside looking in makes it easier to be judgemental doesn’t it ?

Same reason people post similar on FB. #imcoveringupanunhappylife

Are you really posting this again?

I think most people who have anniversary parties for anniversaries under 25years or renew their vows are either, grabby, desperately unhappy or one of them cheated.

If they want a party they can have a party. A party is not dependent on the state of the relationship. If the party bothers you don't go.

Good grief, mind your own business. No self respect is an incrediably judgmental thing to say. People decide on their own boundaries and unless you are asked you really should butt out.

@Bumtum126 yes absolutely seems to be the case here

Get a life and stop posting about your cousin ffs

I have a friend who threw her husband a party despite them more or less splitting up because she no longer loved him. Used it as an excuse for a party

@Cr3ateAUsername dont comment if it bugs you so much

YABU for judging her when she's clearly in a dysfunctional, abusive relationship.

I 2nd this.

Does looking down on your cousin make you feel better about your own life?

Your cousin is an adult. As an adult, she is allowed to make mistakes. She's allowed to throw parties, whatever the circumstances. She's allowed to have "no self-respect". As an adult, you're allowed to mind your own business.

Probably because she wants something to look forward to abs it’s a distraction from her marriage being in the toilet. You don’t sound like you like her much. If you feel that strongly about it- don’t go.

You are incredibly judgemental. You don't know all the ins and outs of her marriage, despite what you may think. The party could be a celebration of having got their lives back on track, with a nod to the future looking good for them.

Are you jealous of her? Why do you care so much?

I just think she's silly and irresponsible. I'm allowed to speak freely. Oh I forgot everyone gets offended these days in this snowflakey country we live in.

I don't think anyone is offended, they just think you're judgemental and ignorant.

Good!

OMG this.bloody.thread.again??

Are you quite well OP? I mean this has to be at least the 5th or 6th time you've posted about this in some way or another?