Ok - OP & family has obviously gone through some kind of traumatic event for which she & her DH feel a month away is what they need to try to start to recover.
Obvs that’s not how EVERYONE would react, but it’s how she is reacting & it’s her right to be able to choose that.
Presumably she is financially capable of doing that & should not be judged for it.
One or both may have got compassionate leave, accruing a/l, taking a sabbatical, career break, one of them cld be planning to WFH while there, or may be unemployed due to stress of said trauma, using savings - who knows? How they’re funding it is irrelevant.
Using the month as ammunition to justify claims OP’s a self indulgent drama queen are also unfair.
Yes we’ve all got our own experiences of personal traumas - some more than others - & we all have had to get on with life. But respect each person’s right to cope with distress how they see fit.
This month away may actually save her sanity & prevent her &/or DH having to go off work sick for months on end or claim benefits from the tax payer - so come on. She may already be off work sick - so what better time to try to recover??
Chastising OP for inviting the GP’s is kind of pointless too. She did. She wishes she didn’t. Yes she’s useless with boundaries, a people pleaser & her defenses were down because of what she’s been going through. Went into appeasing mode & proffered an invitation to join them abroad & visit in the vain hope that like healthy considerate people, they’d say “no we wouldn’t dream of it, you need to time to heal”. Except they didn’t. Because they’re not.
It’s possible OP was feeling extra guilt (maybe bcos of the trauma??) & felt she needed to compensate somehow by giving MIL some other kind other offering. Says she felt bad for depriving them of seeing their GC for so long. Again who knows?? She’s not a bad person for doing so however - just obviously going through a tough time & needs to work on her ability to assert herself & set boundaries.
Especially with people who are manipulative & act out when they don’t get their own way.
If GPs are used to travelling then is perfectly legitimate they’re thinking they spend a couple of days to a acclimatise /recover from journey/get settled in -spend 3days with them & then use the remaining time to have a holiday independently from OP -given they were given the opportunity to do so in the first place.
OP does need to discuss now that they’d love to spend a few days with them & find out what they’d all like to do with their days together & what they plan to be doing with their time independently.
Then it’s out there & she can relax - as much as possible - about the trip.
If they freak out & guilt trip & strop as predicted then this is the perfect opportunity for OP & her DH to start practising what setting boundaries actually looks like!
If it goes well - GP’s will play nice. But we know they probably won’t - at least the MIL anyway, in which case it wouldn’t be surprising if MIL becomes very hurt, offended, histrionic etc.
All par for the course OP & progress for you!!
Steel yourself!! She manipulates you into doing what she wants because she knows you don’t like her sulks & unpleasant behaviour. So you always appease her.
Yes it will be more drama & guilt tripping but you have to be able to get your needs met & can’t be held to random by others’ unreasonable behaviour.
If she’s so wounded she may even cancel trip altogether in which case problem solved!
Maybe a positive from all of this awful trauma & sadness could be that it that forced a major change in the dynamics of your families & ensured the sanctity of your own little family unit, which needs fiercely guarding & fighting to protect.
So easy to preach how others should live their lives isn’it?!
B’cos of course we’re all so perfect & functional.
Good luck OP it’s not easy