To think there are two kinds of people when splitting the bill

[WoodenClock]

And people seem to have friends that are either one if the other, never a mix?

I have a fairly wide circle and go out to eat/drink quite often with various different groups, from well off to really quite hard up. Without exception, any "argument" about money will be because someone wants to be over generous/buy an extra round/pay more than their share. As groups, a non drinker will never get stitched up for a share of the drinks bill and heavy drinkers recognise that and volunteer to pay extra, they never need to be asked.

But there are so many threads on here where people haven't paid their share or where there's awkwardness about asking them to do so. I don't meet those people.

Why is that?

Us Brits are Scrooge like.
Scrooge like is being well off and counting the pennies. Many people need to pay for their own as they are deliberately choosing cheaper options to be able to afford to join friends or family.

Dp family from abroad the men just pay the bill and the weddings are cash generous. Us Brits are Scrooge like

Do tell me where your DP is from and I’ll post something offensive, inaccurate and stereotyping about his country too

You also have two types who attended group dinners, those that have the most expensive dish of each course and drink the most and expect their portion of the bill to be subsidised by the group.
The other type are mindful that costs are being shared so are aware of their of their menu choices and get a group consensus on whether starters are in/out etc. and are conscious of non drinkers etc.
The latter type of person makes bill splitting an ease, the former greedy type are a pain if they fail to recognise they should contribute more.

If you think what I posted is offensive, maybe you need to get out more.

I think we Brits are curmudgeonly tight comparatively speaking.

Her family is from an ex-soviet country-a mix of Russian-Ukraine-Lithuanian.
Meals, gatherings-wedding are extremely generously hosted and are cash-rich empirical social FACT.

I've known all sides tbh. Much depends on the circle, whether from similar backgrounds be that financially, culturally, academically/professionally etc.

I have been out en masses where you have the individual of similar background but say has different personal life or just starting out or on a diet, and they order a starter and water only, versus the 5 courses King with alcohol etc, thinking that bill divided by number is fine. When it's damned obvious there have been Kings and pauper ordering.

Likewise those who think that itemised paying is rude, totally not getting the above.

And those who you know generally are just taking the piss for the chance of a free ride!

And then again those who will just say put it on my card or throw in a large pile of notes etc being generous.

Me, if with someone I share meals etc with regularly, I'm happy to pay for the other person as know over time is reciprocated. However, as a rule, I'd rather pay our bill as itemised and then I don't need to worry if I'm the one having the most expensive items etc or indeed if the cheapest if things are tighter.

Agreeing beforehand is key!

@pixie5121 if your buying on the basis of like for like or buying one drink back or whatever... you basically have bought your own!

I know that hosting is taken in turns and the bulk of the event is paid for by one person or family. It would be extremely rude not to.

Weddings, I've been told at our wedding we will receive a serious amount of money as cash gifts well over 100 euros (Some will be over 1000 euros). Although the celebrations can go on for days.
We received a housewarming present at Xmas, a £600 dryer. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, it's rude to refuse.😂

Us Brits have different social mores.

When I was single and went out for dinner with couples the bill was split supposedly evenly but it always excluded me. They, always seemed to be men who paid out of the couple, never ever split it including me. I was more than able to afford it, or I wouldn’t have gone out. When I asked why, they just said that it wasn’t right to let me pay. Incredibly generous, probably sexist, but very kind

Only works if everyone is having a similarly priced drink and the number of people in the group equals the number of drinks they're having.

That doesn’t mean we are Scrooge like - it means we have different customs.

I agree and what happens if you are a poor family who doesnt have the cash to splash around at a distant cousin's wedding?- just not go I suppose and be ostracized or looked down on for flouting a custom. Its not "scrooge like" if you genuinely cant afford to buy every person in your extended family dinner FGS. Lots of privilege in this thread.

Mostly we eat out with two separate groups of married couples, and bills are split equally between the chaps. But in another family group, one element just look at DH and always expect him to pick up the tab for the whole table. The family concerned are not well off, but there are a lot of them, and we are three. They have been to stay and been fed and watered and entertained for days, but have never reciprocated. So we are quite low contact with them.

Totally agree.

I hate this misconception that not wanting to pay for others share equally being "Scrooge like". For many it's the only way to afford going out.

I don't want others paying my share when our. I don't want to worry if I order something expensive while others choose a cheaper item that they then will be paying more than they should if the bill is just spit. I don't want others pity if I'm strapped for cash. I just want to pay my own way. That's not being a Scrooge etc.