To be annoyed MIL cleaned the bathroom

[Clementinemist]

I went to a hen party over the weekend, and DH's parents popped round for a dinner while I was away. We keep our flat very clean and tidy. Our main bathroom wasn't dirty, but could have done with a light clean; probably some of my hair in the plug/around the shower, cabinet was a bit dusty, mirror needed a polish, a bit of limescale around the taps. I've just started a new job and an evening course, been really busy, and didn't have time to give it a once over before I left. (Just to note DH does his share of housework, I usually do the bathroom).

Anyway, MIL decided to thoroughly clean the bathroom while she was here. She emptied the bin which included my used tampons/sanitary towels, possibly condoms. I'm not awkward or uncomfortable about periods/sex or anything, but that's pretty personal. I'm a bit annoyed that she took it upon herself to clean my home, it's not like it was filthy, and has gone into my bin for no reason whatsoever. AIBU?

I agree with what PP’s have said. It would feel intrusive, however the bin should have been emptied as a minimum prior to them coming round.

She probably smelled the bin - it sounds rank.

i am sure she meant well
was it hard for her to empty the bin

Bloody hell, I'd love it if a guest cleaned my house. I wouldn't feel judged at all. My bathroom is the one room that is always presentable though, so they wouldn't find much to do in there.

If they fancied weeding and cutting the grass while they're here, even better.

Not an issue for me any more, but pre-menopause I never left towels or tampons in the bathroom bin because they start to smell really quickly.

Even I think that's a bit mingerish, and I have very low standards when it comes to housework.

Goodness me, all these posters who are a shining example of cleanliness. How dare anyone have rubbish in their rubbish bin for any length of time.
bloody hell. It doesn’t matter if the bin was full or if the bathroom was in a state. That might be how the home owner wants it and it’s totally missing the point of this thread and feelings of the OP

To everyone saying how great it is that MIL cleaned the bathroom, if tables were turned, and you went round to someone’s house for dinner - even a relative or close friend and the bathroom was slightly dirty would you clean it for them? I often notice and peoples houses if there is a bit of dust etc but I wouldn’t mention it and wouldn’t dream of cleaning it for them as I feel that would be very rude and like me saying ‘your house isn’t clean enough’ . Normally I’m relieved as I’m not the only one to struggle to keep on top of things! Saying that, I always make sure the bathroom any guest are going to use if sparking before they come, normally to the detriment of other rooms in the house they won’t see, especially with in laws as I’m afraid of being judged. Wouldn’t dream of leaving tampons in the bin either

*is sparkling! Autocorrect!

@rosewater20 well said 👏

I would have danced for joy, not birches about it.

Send her to mine, I would be seriously appreciative.

I'd love to have a cleaning fairy visit my house.

She did a lovely thing.

if tables were turned, and you went round to someone’s house for dinner - even a relative or close friend and the bathroom was slightly dirty would you clean it for them?

absolutely not. And not because I believe it would be signalling that their house was not clean enough but because I absolutely loath cleaning my own, so why on earth would I do someone else’s.

I have however, given people cleaning gift vouchers, esp if they are going through tough life events, and would hope that it was received in the spirit intended. Don’t care how much I love anyone, I’m not personally pulling on the cleaning gloves.

Thing is though it was your DH’s mum cleaning while he was there. I’m trying to imagine a scenario where man would be upset at his wife’s mum helping her daughter out by cleaning up. It’s unlikely isn’t it? She cleaned her son’s grubby bathroom with his consent - it’s not like she let herself in and did it!

This will have come from a good place on her part. Try to remember that.

if she’d like to come and help me she’s most welcome!

Well that depends entirely on what kind of MIL you have. Is she a nurturing, caring sort? Or does she judge and possibly did this in a passive aggressive way?

I would thinks she’s being a nosy cow but I’d also think the joke’s on her because she cleaned a dirty bathroom for free.

I have a small business cat sitting (on top of my day job). This week I was in someone's house and I really,really needed a wee, so I went to their toilet. It was disgraceful. Brown stains and well on the way to being a festival toilet. I couldn't stand it and I found a bottle of bleach in the bathroom cabinet and chucked it in, meaning to leave it overnight and flush it next day. Then I forgot that the cat owner was coming back the next day and I wouldn't need to go to the house.

I called her to ask if the cats were OK when she returned, and made up a story that I felt ill and had to be sick in her toilet so I threw a load of bleach down it. Partially true, it did make me feel sick.

@Mystery2345 it doesn’t always though. Some people (and it doesn’t have to be MILs) are very judgmental and this could be an example of that.

I would never get upset if my MIL came to my house and cleaned! If I'd left something like a condom in the bin, I'd feel a bit bad that I'd embarrassed her, rather than the other way around.

She overstepped the mark and had no business doing what she did.

However your bin needed emptying.

You say you've just started a job and a course - no doubt she is aware you're busy so wanted to help?

My grandma always does something like this when she comes over. She just likes to be helpful.

When l was on hospital having DS, mil did all my ironing, cleaned the house from top to bottom and did the gardens.

It was bliss.

Yours is a first world problem.

Yes this. My mum offered to tidy up once and was really sweet and explained she wasn't saying my house was a mess just she knew how stressful it can be with a young child and if I wanted help cleaning to point her in the right direction.

My MIL however came in and repeatedly made pointed remarks about how messy the floor was. Then when I'd nipped out to the shop and come back had tidied up and proudly stated she had tidied up all the kids toys. (Which they untidyed in about 15minutes).

It's rude to just tidy up without asking.

Omg cleaning gift vouchers!!!amazing idea!

People have done this in my house before and I find it feels really inappropriate.