My husband won't tell me who he voted for today?

[FreeFlowersForAll]

AIBU?

I spoiled my ballot.

My husband won't tell me who he voted for, and he's annoyed that I keep asking? Surely this is the kind of info that should be shared between a man and wife?

He’d tell u if he wanted to. In fact, he could just as easily lie.
Give it up. It’s not for you to know

The point I was making when I talked about discussing politics wasn't that therefore I would ask DH how he voted, it was that I didn't need to ask because it's obvious.

It a secret ballot. You ABU even to ask him. I wouldn't dream of asking my DH. If he tells me, that's fine. And YABU spoiling your ballot paper.

I don't know who my husband voted for. None of my business. I spoiled my ballot. He knows I did that because I told him. But if I didn't, and I didn't tell him who I voted for, he wouldn't ask anyway.

I know spoiling your ballot is unpopular on here but I'd rather write a protest slogan on it than not bother doing anything with it at sll

This really made me laugh. Mumsnet at its best.

Exactly.
We've always discussed politics/current events as a family and I'm pleased that my 3 teenage children all have formed political opinions and can recognise politicians, more so than others their age. However, I wouldn't dream of putting my husband or oldest, who voted for the first time yesterday, on the spot and insisting they tell me who they voted for.

That is private.

I think it's weird rather than U

Obviously it's his right to keep it private but these are the sort of things you talk about in a committed relationship otherwise it's not a real partnership

How about because it is none of your business?

Good job not saying how your DH voted. Because The rule is that if you say how someone else voted, even by accident, you could face a £5,000 fine or six months in prison.

I dong understand... it's true, and it's the first thing I thought of too after years of studying political history at school/college !!!

Given you spoiled your ballot (what a waster to time and energy) I’d guess you’d be disapproving of anyone he voted for and he probably can’t be arsed with the aggro.

Voting is private. No one is obliged to divulge their vote to anyone else. They can choose to do of course. I confirmed to my H who I voted for and he did similarly but we were both perfectly entitled to keep it to ourselves. However we are both openly very left wing so there wasn't much doubt about it.

Spoiling a ballot suggests political affiliations in your household are more up in the air. Perhaps he didn't want a dispute about it. Do you think he should have spoilt his ballot and you're annoyed he didn't? Spoiling a ballot is just silly - what a waste of time, both for you and the poor sods who stay up all night counting the things.

Over more years than I care to name dh and I have gone to vote together in both local and general elections but I’d never think of asking him, and he’s never asked me. If people want to tell each other, that’s a different matter.

The secret ballot was hard fought for in the U.K, and is IMO a precious thing.

IMO spoiling your ballot is just daft. I’d never not vote or spoil my ballot paper, even if that means - as I once did when utterly fed up with both parties that stand any chance here - voting for the Monster Raving Loony candidate.

What now?

Man and Wife - YABU. Are you his Animal?

Luckily, my husband and I both have very similar political leanings, I personally have only been interested in politics over the last few years so there would have been a chance of clashing views. I remember as a child, going with my Dad to cast his vote, and him telling me its secret and a Police Officer would come if he told me who he voted for, luckily we have no such qualms in this household.

So the only way to be politically literate is to talk politics? What a load of rubbish. So long as you can listen, read and think for yourself you can be politically literate. You don’t need the opinions of other people.

I'm in a committed relationship of 25 years and we discuss politics and I could second guess my husbands political leanings on many subjects but I wouldn't be happy if he insisted I tell him how I cast my vote and I would show him the same respect.

On one hand, voting is private.
On the other hand, I always talked about who I voted for with previous partners and they did with me. I think that it’s important to share values and I would find it extremely difficult to be in a relationship with someone on a radically different political page than me. 🤷‍♀️

Come again?

Spoiling your ballot suggests you're not at all interested in anything political, so why do you want to know who your DH voted for ?

Why did you spoil your ballot? People died to give you the right to vote. Don’t ever complain about who is in power, you could’ve done something about it but didn’t.

*you’re

I don't think it's ever right to ask someone how they've voted unless it's done in a "if you don't mind sharing how you voted I'd be interested to know" way. If you're demanding it's rude.

I got into a massive argument at work during the EU elections because someone kept badgering me to tell them how I voted. In the end one person stood up for me and pointed out that voting is a private matter. They couldn't see what the fuss was about and thought that was weird. But it is. That is the whole point. That's why there are booths.

DH & I are open about who we vote for - neither of us could have been happy with someone with different fundamental values. So I do find it strange that so many couples aren't open about how they have voted. Each to their own.

However, to spoil your ballot paper is irresponsible and I find that unforgivable . People died in the fight to give us the vote.