Meat eater benefits from sharing finances with veggie

[SpingTimeMelody]

Ah, this is an issue we come back to time and time again (well every year or so I guess).

I'm vegetarian and as such my food is generally less expensive. My DH eats meat. No problem with that as such, but he hasn't cut down the amount of meat he eats, if anything he eats more now. Today he had bacon medallions with breakfast, a tin of tuna with lunch and plans to have an expensive individually wrapped chicken breast with dinner. These cost about £2.25 per breast and sometimes he has two.

His Pov: I can eat what I like.

My Pov: Yes, but... Food comes out of "joint money", and we are spending too much. I am trying to cut back like I bought the cheaper bread to save 60p. If I suddenly decided to eat meat (not going to happen) but we wouldn't be able to afford it. Basically he can only afford to eat meat the way he does because I have a much cheaper diet....

What is the answer? No kids btw

I expect you spend more on makeup than he does. YABU. If you're sharing finances, you're sharing finances.
If you don't want to share, you'll each have to do your own shopping out of your own accounts.
But that doesn't bode well for your future as a couple.

I get it op that would annoy me especially as on a budget. Suggest he pays an additional sub for his meat each week. Calculate the average cost of the meat over a period of time and then work out a suitable sub cost.

Now I get it. Id be annoyed too op.

I think YABU. I have the benefit of us both being veggie, however if DH went back to eating meat I wouldn't expect him to pay more towards the food shop. Rather like DH (who is t-total) is happy to still split the food bill if I buy alcohol.

This does sound a bit mean TBH. I buy all my meat from a good butcher, and while it might cost a little bit more, you eat all you cook, rather than sluicing out half of it in liquid. One chicken breast is enough for anyone. Supermarket meat is a false economy in my opinion.

Does DH wear makeup? Use tampons? Being facetious but not everything in a marriage is the same, it can still be equal.

I don't take the bins out and I didn't fix the boiler this am either

OK so we had a chat and agreed on an amount that DH will get out of the food budget each week into his personal account and then he will pay for all meat out of that.

What's the point in that? If you are taking it from the food budget and it's going on meat just leave it there and tell him he can't spend more than x on meat from the food budget.

DHs veggie diet costs way more than my meat one generally.

I don’t wear makeup and my toiletries cost the same as my teenage DS's except he goes through more shampoo and conditioner. I fix the pressure on the boiler when it drops too low about once a year.

Do you really think OP pays for that out of food budget?

Your husband has a healthy diet and eats meat as humans are designed to do. He's doing the right thing. Why did you get with him if you're a vegetarian?

Presumably because she loves him and doesn't object to him eating meat. It's the distribution of money that's the problem, not his meat eating.

It depends on what your financial set up is. If you're paying a percentage each, it's not fair if he's using your combined money to buy steak when you're buying a bag of carrots. However, if you're buying things like Beyond Meat (which is not cheap) then being veggie is a red herring.

I think everyone should be allowed to buy what they want out of their own fun money - it sounds like maybe he wants to prioritise his share of fun money on what you consider to be extravagant food?

I used to be a meat eater and now I'm not - a large part of it was cost, so to an extent, I get where you're coming from. I think if you are a meat eater, it's not a hardship to have a couple of meat-free meals a week (and it would be nice for you as a couple to share meals in that way) or to bulk out your food to reduce the amount/cost of meat.

Bolognese for example - add in some lentils. Still getting the meat, but it's not as pricy per meal.

It might be typical for a lot of people, but its bad for you and no one needs to eat that much meat not to mention the animal welfare and environment impact

Well you’ve already said you’re not going to start eating meat so you DO have the money for him to eat the way he chooses. I don’t see a problem here. You can’t dictate his eating patterns.

t might be typical for a lot of people, but its bad for you and no one needs to eat that much meat not to mention the animal welfare and environment impact

Which no one was talking about, just the cost to OP.

No, eating meat is good for you. Vegetarian/veganism is far worse for the environment than meat.

That last post was to LuckySantangelo35

Seriously op....yabu. it be about different toothpaste or shampoo next. If you live together you share the costs. If you don't want to live with him leave....

@nokidshere We've both been veggie for 2 years and I agree it seems to be more expensive than when we ate meat. But sounds like OP is having the opposite experience.

Only if you eat fake meat, avocados and imported veg. We eat mostly lentils and local veg. Never any fake meat. Our grocery bill is less than £60 per week for 3 adults.

However I still think OP's husband can eat what he wants without policing.

Science disagrees with you on both points. But that isn’t the point. OP’s husband is spending more than they can afford, so he needs to rein in his food spending to a level that fits in their budget. If that means he can’t afford meat any more, then he’ll have to get used to eating beans.

No, actually science agrees with me on both points.

I think lots of people are hugely missing the point here.

If you can afford to wander around the supermarket with both of you sticking whatever you want in the trolley, regardless of price, then yes, monitoring your DH's food choices is very unreasonable. He can have fillet steak, expensive bacon and fresh salmon fillets, while you can have goat's cheese, halloumi, asparagus, avocado and any other nice veggie choices you fancy.

If on the other hand the weekly budget is £50 for the two of you and he's spending £35-40 on meat and other items for him, leaving you with £10-15 only from the budget, then clearly your diet is going to have to be based on lentils, beans and pulses, carrots and other cheap vegetables and is going to have to be significantly less interesting and varied. Why shouldn't you be able to add a few more interesting items to the shopping for you within the budget, even if it means (heaven forbid!) he has to cut down a few days a week and eat 'boring' cheap stuff like leftover stew or chilli?

Wow, this is one of the nastiest threads I have read for a long time! Seems like poor reading comprehension has lead to a bit of a pile on. OP has changed brand if bread to keep expenses down, it's clear shopping is on a tight budget, she is not eating expensive out of season fruits, fake meat and truffles that her husband can't enjoy! I doubt she is using terribly expensive beauty products, and anyway that wouldn't come from the food budget. Suggestions to split the money and do their own shopping are patronising, rediculous and missing the point. And to all the pp who said they were embarrassed for op! I am offended and embarrassed by you! It is nice to see that a lot of pp have enough money not to have to count pennies in the supermarket and can provide whatever food everyone in the house wants to eat, but that isn't everybody's situation. Please have a little bit of empathy for people in a different situation, and don't be so fast to judge an action without reasonable assessment of the situation.

OP has been vague about what it means to her to be 'low earner'.
And if she is "that worried" about money.
They have 'personal money' budgets for instance, which means there is some flexibility in their budgets.

However, at this point, The real "missing the point" is that OP & her DH have found an amicable solution : which is great. :-) Update us later, OP, let us know how things went.