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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mummy look at those slags....

281 replies

Feckingfeck · 04/05/2022 21:32

DS2 is 3, he can't pronounce "f" it comes out as an "s"

When walking today to collect DS1 from school we walked past some bunting (flags) and a group of ladies were stood underneath....

"Mummy, look at those slags"

Mortified.

Amongst his other finest moments are running alongside a man in a mobility scooter miming driving and shouting "beep, beep"

AIBU to think my child was born to embarrass me 😂

What words do children you know say that sound like something else?

What have your DC done that have embarrassed you?

Make me laugh to forget my own embarrassment 🙈

OP posts:
springtimeishereagain · 05/05/2022 08:21

@LabradorFiasco - that is pretty impressive!!

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 05/05/2022 08:24

My DD can't say 'minted lamb chops' she calls them 'minted man chops'
School are well aware her favourite meal is minted man chops!

I got back from work one day and she said 'I keep fucky find glass'
I genuinely thought DP dropped a glass and he was swearing saying he keeps fucking finding glass! I was fuming at him, even when he denied this! Well it turned out she was trying to ask for her little 'magnifying glass'

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 05/05/2022 08:27

So glad I came across this thread 🤣
I have a 13 month old DS so I have all this to come 🤭

My niece who is now 14, couldn't pronounce 'st' would say 'dick' instead of stick!
My mum told me about the time she shouted "Nanny!!! Look that man's dick!!!" 😂😂😂

My BIL once had his son (3/4 at the time) SIL had left him a note asking him to do the housework.. the Hoover was playing up, tube kept popping out he hadn't realised his DS was nearby he gave it a little kick and said maybe a little loudly under his breath that "this hoover's fucking shit"
A few days later nephew at my MIL house she got the Hoover out and he said plain as anything "Nanny the Hoover fucking shit" 😂😂😂😂

Notquiteoneanddone · 05/05/2022 08:34

DC almost 2 can’t pronounce S and just uses any other letter in the word as a replacement. Socks becomes cock and stick sounds a lot like dick. My personal favourite though is saying sticker as titty 🙈😂

HoppingPavlova · 05/05/2022 08:39

I had one that started out confident with F but not so much other letters so trucks = fucks (and they were truck mad), ducks = fucks and so on. It resolved but was funny.

Chilmark79 · 05/05/2022 08:40

Reading aloud the story of King Cnut and the Waves in a school assembly. And reassembling the letters. Every. Single.Time. It was better and safer when books used to spell it Canute.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 05/05/2022 08:41

Sil is a Catholic. She was in a service when her 3 year old dropped his favourite toy, which was the Hulk. He couldn’t say Hulk though, he called it Fuck.

He started screaming, ‘Fuck, Fuck, l want Fuck, Fuck’

Sil exited rapidly with dn and a very red face

BridesmaidPanic · 05/05/2022 08:41

Ah yes, I remember this stage with my nephew...

Clocks - no l
Trucks - F instead of Tr
Flags - S instead of F

Indoors = calls for maximum amusement and repetition for entertainment's sake
Outdoors = absolute mortification!

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 05/05/2022 08:42

When DS was young (3 maybe) we were at a park but the toilets weren't open. I told him we could sneak in and use the toilets at the fast food place over the road but we couldn't have any food as I had absolutely no money on me (if I did I'd have bought a milkshake or something).

Walked in to be greeted by a member of staff tidying some trays away for DS to pipe up "we don't want any food thanks, I just need the toilet"...

OnceMoreWithoutFeeling · 05/05/2022 08:54

I've been having the worst week and this thread really cheered me up, thank you! As I was feeding poorly DD2 for the millionth time last night I was reading it over her head and trying to contain my sniggers (unsuccessfully!)

We don't have any good mispronunciations from DD1 (apart from a brief stint of being fascinated by opening and closing things... "opeeeeen... aaaand... SHIT!") but I did enjoy her in the bath age 2 staring contemplatively at her dad having a wee and then asking why she didn't have a 'waggy bit'. We were very po-faced and determined that when such conversations happened we would use the correct words, but we were both so taken with 'waggy bit' that so it has remained!

clareykb · 05/05/2022 09:29

My daugheter aged about 3 had been doing a pirates topic at nursery, we live near an area where there is a large orthadox jewish community.Cue her pointing at an elderly jewish gentleman with a beard, a large black hat and a crutch and shouting "Look mum a reall pirate!" I was mortified... luckily he laughed!

Snaketime · 05/05/2022 09:32

When my DS was 2 he learnt to say ship but that wasn't what it sounded like he was saying, it sounded like he was saying shit. I had to explain when I dropped him off at childcare that he actually means ship 🙈

psychomath · 05/05/2022 09:48

I was on the receiving end of one of these once. I was about 16, in a car with my friend, her dad and her little sister, who was about ten years younger than us. The conversation went like this:

Sister: When I go to big school will you be old?

Me: Yes sweetie, when you go to big school I'll be at university.

Sister: And when I'm at university, will you be a grown up?

Me: Yes, I'll be even more grown up than you.

Sister: And when I'm a grown up, you will be old AND YOUR MUMMY WILL BE DEAD.

I thought it was hilarious but her poor dad was mortified! (FWIW she is now a grown up and my mummy is fortunately not dead.)

OnceMoreWithoutFeeling · 05/05/2022 09:51

Sister: And when I'm a grown up, you will be old AND YOUR MUMMY WILL BE DEAD 😆

My eldest keeps saying "mummy you will die first in this family because you are the oldest". Thanks kid.

Original poster
Feckingfeck · 05/05/2022 09:55

DS1 use to think everyone reached 100 then died.

He was so obsessed with my mum dying that he wrote notes with what to do when he found her dead and left them round the house .....

  1. If nanny dies call an ambulance...

She found one and kept it in her drawer😂

She is nowhere near 100 so not sure in his logic there 🤔

He is now extremely pedantic and has been given a middle ages mans name as a nickname 🥸

OP posts:
itbemay · 05/05/2022 09:57

.

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 05/05/2022 09:59

Haha. My dd couldn't say her f's for a while too when she was 3 and it actually worked to my favour when she randomly came out with 'mummy, children shouldn't say booking el' 😳😂

Welshmaenad · 05/05/2022 10:05

If it makes you feel any better, I use a mobility scooter, and I find it sweet and hilarious when small children are fascinated by it. I usually challenge them to a race if they're game.

Maytodecember · 05/05/2022 10:15

Friend’s dad had died a couple of weeks earlier, they’d had the funeral but relative travelling a long way missed it. Her 4 year old DD told me Auntie X was coming to visit grandad so mummy had gone to water him in the morning. Friend had gone to water the grave flowers to keep them going a bit longer.

Ihavenoideawhatmyusernameis · 05/05/2022 10:18

My DD couldn’t say “here’s my fork”. Instead she preferred “who der fuck!” 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

DoraSpenlow · 05/05/2022 10:20

We used to live next door to a very elderly lady and Mum used to get shopping for her. Mum (a great giggler) always used to come back from delivering the shopping with tears of laughter running down her face, but would never tell us why because she said she really shouldn't be laughing. Anyway, Mum broke her arm so I (aged about 13) was sent to get the neighbours shopping.

It was a drag up the hill from the shops to the houses so when I knocked on her door I may have been puffing a bit. Lady open the door and said "Oh my dear, come in and have a sit and get your breath back, I'll make us both a nice cup of tea." Only trouble was she pronounced her s's as sh. How I kept a straight face I will never know. When I got home Mum was practically on the floor laughing because this was what the lady said every time Mum delivered the shopping.

It was a great lesson in self control because the poor women couldn't help it.

thebellagio · 05/05/2022 10:21

My daughter couldn't pronounce S, and even after years of speech therapy when she's tired/excited she forgets to finish her words

We used to regularly have "mummy look at the hor...." rather than "look at the horse"

Highly embarrasing!

StScholastica · 05/05/2022 10:31

A large lady in leggings was bending to a low shelf on the supermarket to pick up a bag of sugar with her bum sticking out.
DS who was 3 and non verbal, (and crucially enjoyed horse riding) slapped her on the bum and shouted yee-haaa!
I was so mortified.

BoredZelda · 05/05/2022 10:53

@Chooksnroses

No need for personal attacks. I’d have thought it entirely appropriate to teach a boy that telling a woman he likes their breasts isn’t funny and not to do it.

Wringingourhands · 05/05/2022 11:54

My DC have also frequently, and loudly, pointed out the huge cock at the top of the high street, collected numerous big dicks, and dropped their fucks in restaurants. By far the most embarrassing moment though was when DC1, who was 2 or 3 at the time, randomly walked up to a bloke (who looked nothing at all like DH) in a motorway services, tugged on his coat and said in a plaintive voice “Are you my Daddy?” I was mortified!