Page 2 | Mummy look at those slags....

Feckingfeck · 2022-05-04T20:32:29+00:00

DS2 is 3, he can't pronounce "f" it comes out as an "s" When walking today to collect DS1 from school we walked past some bunting (flags) and a group of ladies were stood underneath.... "Mummy, look at those slags" Mortified. Amongst his other finest moments are running alongside a man in a mobility scooter miming driving and shouting "beep, beep" AIBU to think my child was born to embarrass me 😂 What words do children you know say that sound like something else? What have your DC done that have embarrassed you? Make me laugh to forget my own embarrassment 🙈

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 04/05/2022 21:59

DS used to get so excited when he saw birds in the garden “look mummy turds! Lots of turds!”

pinkstripeycat · 04/05/2022 21:59

My own DS aged 5 watching his swimming instructor teach another class.
He asked me what the peach things under her body were.
I said they’re her legs. He said “Oh, I thought she was a mermaid.”

Lovingtheglitter · 04/05/2022 21:59

When my youngest was 8 the latest word to use was rank - only he couldn't say the letter r - it came out as a w. So whenever he didn't like anything he said "mummy that's wank!"

lemmity · 04/05/2022 22:00

When DS was tiny he somehow used to pronounce crab like twat. We were in a packed fish and chip restaurant at the seaside which had tiles with crabs on all over the walls. He was excitedly pointing out all of them yelling twat over and over 😳😳😳

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 04/05/2022 22:00

A family friend's toddler son had a French mother and a British father. He pointed to a lady shouting 'dame lady' which sounds like 'damn lady', as he was of course saying French AND English! They had to hurriedly explain!

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 04/05/2022 22:00

Another one who's DS was obsessed with big 'dicks' as a tot. Including the day he gleefully shouted "mummy. I found you a big dick. You like big dicks don't you mummy" in front of the builders working next door. Yes darling. Yes I do like big sticks. I also like big dicks

Feckingfeck · 04/05/2022 22:01

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Original poster

Feckingfeck · 04/05/2022 22:03

Lovingtheglitter · 04/05/2022 21:59

When my youngest was 8 the latest word to use was rank - only he couldn't say the letter r - it came out as a w. So whenever he didn't like anything he said "mummy that's wank!"

😂

That really tickled me!

OP posts:

ltscoldonthesidelines · 04/05/2022 22:04

In a changing room at the local pool, just my son, me and a naked lady in the process of getting dressed. The lady was slightly plump but only slightly. My son, points in her direction and shouts, “Mummy, look a fat pig” I’m mortified, have no words and no idea what to say or why he would say that, not a phrase he would have been exposed to. To add to the awfulness he repeats it a number of times, probably because I am doing my best to ignore him. The releif I felt when I spotted a pig keyring hanging on a peg.

myyellowcar · 04/05/2022 22:06

In a queue with DS (2) next to another lady whose phone rang, with some R&B type song ringtone.

’thats rubbish’ said DS

Thepossibility · 04/05/2022 22:06

2 year old stood up in the trolley. I told her to SIT. Proceeds to yell “shit!” throughout the shop. Repeatedly.

BelleTheBananas · 04/05/2022 22:07

When DS1 was a toddler, he wanted to chat to the plumber: ‘Bugger? Buggerrrrr?? BUGGER!!!! What are you doing with those tools?’

Summerholidayorcovidagain · 04/05/2022 22:07

Not a dc but my parenting - novice dh. Looking round Mothercare with The Baby Essentials List...I went to the prams. Dh went elsewhere - shouts he has found the Muslims. .
I died a bit that day.
😩

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 04/05/2022 22:09

DD couldn't pronounce the letter R until she was nearly 5. She liked nothing better than to eat crisps/carrot sticks/crackers etc with big enthusiastic chomps whilst singing 'cunt, cunt, cunty!' at the top of her voice. Preferably in otherwise silent places such as on the bus, or in front of snobbish elderly relatives.

Notanotherwindow · 04/05/2022 22:09

We've had 'Why are you so black? You're much blacker than my friend Tamim.'

Luckily the woman had a 4 year old of her own and found it hilarious but God I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

LeFeu · 04/05/2022 22:09

My kids liked to eat “cockporn” whilst watching a film….

Zilla1 · 04/05/2022 22:11

Could you encourage him to say flags with a long 'a' in a Danny Dyer Eastenders cockney accent?

Sidisawetlettuce · 04/05/2022 22:11

ltscoldonthesidelines · 04/05/2022 22:04

In a changing room at the local pool, just my son, me and a naked lady in the process of getting dressed. The lady was slightly plump but only slightly. My son, points in her direction and shouts, “Mummy, look a fat pig” I’m mortified, have no words and no idea what to say or why he would say that, not a phrase he would have been exposed to. To add to the awfulness he repeats it a number of times, probably because I am doing my best to ignore him. The releif I felt when I spotted a pig keyring hanging on a peg.

😂😂😂

dontknowhow2help · 04/05/2022 22:11

Told me loudly in front of her (new) best friend and best friend's mum at a play date at their house that said best friend was "being a douchebag". I wanted to crawl under a rock. I'm now far more conscious of words I didn't realise I must have used!!

Emmelina · 04/05/2022 22:13

Pointing at the dog and ordering her to “sit” at about 2 or 3, only it would come out “shit”.

Strathyre · 04/05/2022 22:14

One of my one year olds first (possible) words was "buggeh". Did he mean book, a rude word or was it just a sound he was practising? We will never know...

LabradorFiasco · 04/05/2022 22:15

Oh god @Notanotherwindow that is toe-curlingly brilliant.

Last week at a toddler group with DS (22mo) everyone was introducing themselves and when it was his turn, in response to ‘what’s your name?’ he paused, grinned and said ‘Ku Klux Klan’ 😱
Clear as anything. The subsequent silence seemed to go on for at least 10 minutes.

OP’s original running along miming driving at the mobility scooter user is also fantastic. Beep beep!

Honeyroar · 04/05/2022 22:15

The three year old that I used to au pair for in Paris ran up to the fat lady in front of us who was ambling along and making us late, slapped her on the arse and said “shift!” I was mortified but also trying not to laugh!

Metalhead · 04/05/2022 22:15

Friend’s toddler pronounced blueberries as boobies. “I really like boobies, mummy can I have some more boobies?”

MotherofPearl · 04/05/2022 22:15

ltscoldonthesidelines · 04/05/2022 22:04

In a changing room at the local pool, just my son, me and a naked lady in the process of getting dressed. The lady was slightly plump but only slightly. My son, points in her direction and shouts, “Mummy, look a fat pig” I’m mortified, have no words and no idea what to say or why he would say that, not a phrase he would have been exposed to. To add to the awfulness he repeats it a number of times, probably because I am doing my best to ignore him. The releif I felt when I spotted a pig keyring hanging on a peg.

This has made me properly laugh!

When I was pregnant with DS, DD1 was 3. As with a PP we opted for straightforward language around body parts. She asked how the baby would come out and I explained. Cue a few weeks later and DP's elderly parents are round for afternoon tea. DD1 suddenly burst out - in the manner of someone sharing a truly shocking secret - with "Granddad! Guess what?! The baby is going to come out of mummy's vagina!" An appalling silence ensued.