Mummy look at those slags....

[Feckingfeck]

DS2 is 3, he can't pronounce "f" it comes out as an "s"

When walking today to collect DS1 from school we walked past some bunting (flags) and a group of ladies were stood underneath....

"Mummy, look at those slags"

Mortified.

Amongst his other finest moments are running alongside a man in a mobility scooter miming driving and shouting "beep, beep"

AIBU to think my child was born to embarrass me 😂

What words do children you know say that sound like something else?

What have your DC done that have embarrassed you?

Make me laugh to forget my own embarrassment 🙈

I took my two year old to a funeral, XH had explained what a funeral involved, I wasn't present.

Arrived at funeral and in a very excited , loud voice "Mummy have they already burned Grandad on the fire?"

I could have died.

@shreddednips, I'm so stealing "cuntosaurus". What an excellent insult!

When I was a teenager I worked in a children's home, and my boyfriend would occasionally visit, and bring a tube of fruit pastilles, which he would produce from the pocket of his jeans, and share with the children. One day my friend brought her new, very shy, boyfriend in to meet us, and David, aged about three, patted the front of the boy's jeans and said "I know what you've got in there!"

Glad you like it 😉

I do think some praise needs to be handed to the slags though!

I remember another one - my father isn’t a nice person and now a number of years on we are NC.

My eldest asked him age 6/7 (doing the Egyptians at school) if ‘he could hurry up and die soon’ his face was a picture when she said ‘it’s ok I’ll take your insides out after you are dead and wrap you up’ - she’d seen a mummy and wanted a person to try it on(!) he said ‘won’t you miss grandad? Darling’ And she said after a big pause ‘no it’s ok I don’t think so but I can bury you in the garden and step on you every day if it would make you happier’

This thread is hilarious. Dd didn’t seem to have many of these toe curling mispronunciations or embarrass me #missingout 😢. Stick was tik for example. Clocks didn’t come up much.

However, dd and I used to spend a lot of time with my friend and her ds and we are all still friends. At about 6, she was still saying a willy was a woolly. (And me being such a kind soul 😂 did not correct her and asked dh not to either.) She then proceeded to have a stand up row with my friend’s ds; ‘It’s an willy.’… “No it’s a woolly”…. ‘No it isn’t it’s a willy.’… It is, it’s a woolly”. Etc. Kids really can go on at that age when they think they’re correct…. Friend and I just sat there cracking up laughing.

I did eventually tell dd she was mistaken…. I think she was about 7. She took a little convincing. Sad times.

My daughter asked for a glass of wine with her lunch at the nursery. I don’t even drink wine and we don’t keep it at home.

@LabradorFiasco - where would your dc have heard of the Ku Klux Klan?!

My daughter aged when reading Thomas the Tank engine books (when Sir Topham
Hatt was know as the fat controller) pointed at the engines naming them as she went excitedly said fuckin’ troll 😂

DD is four and her random, stream of consciousness chatter can be quite embarrassing when we’re on the bus.

I’ve told her many times not to make personal remarks about the other passengers, but she forgets. She seems to think it’s fine to make critical remarks as long as she ends with a compliment.

For example, she exclaimed loudly, “that man wants to lose some weight. I like his hat”. She was most indignant when I told her off for this - she thought she was being tactful.

😆😆 my DS always bellows 'mummy, do you think daddy will be wanting some BEER?' in the shop. I think he got the idea of daddies drinking beer from the tiger who came to tea because DH doesn't drink it.

ooooo, saved. On a plane before my son could even talk, we were sitting next to a man with a big belly and my son kept saying big tum and pointing to it the whole flight. Argh! They were nearly his first words. I didn't want to scold him too severely. He'd finally spoken.

Went on a date with my partner at the time and my son when he was younger so we went to Chester zoo, went to the toilet and obviously brought my son with me. When we finished up he couldn't wait to get out to tell my partner mummy did a poo 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’m sure I’ve wrote about this on here before.

we lived next to the London 2012 Olympic village whilst the games were going on. Was shopping in the big Westfield centre when ds saw a group of paralympians with prosthetic blades. Proceeded to shout at the top of his voice ‘mum look, theres robots!’

whilst I was dying inside, the athletes luckily took no offence and two came over and chatted to Ds for ages.

😂😂😂😂😂

This one isn't the child's fault but used to make me laugh. Child in DS's class had a jumper knitted by a loving gran. On the front it said, I want I want I want. On the back it said You can't You can't You can't. Gran's knitting was a bit lacking in the A department and it was hard not to laugh as his rather full of herself mother walked along with him with everyone having a titter at his You cunt You cunt You cunt jumper.

My cousin’s little girl used to love currants, which my cousin was delighted about as it meant she wasn’t constantly demanding chocolate when she wanted something sweet.

She was less delighted when they were going past the dried fruit in Asda and her daughter started shouting ‘Cunts! Cunts! Want cunts, mommy!’

In German, digger is "Bagger" which is pronounced "bugger".

So my bilingual mum used to have my little brother sitting on the bus pointing out of the window shouting "BUGGER".

Not a mispronunciation, but still awful cringe. I'd taken then-5yo to the GP for a suspected water infection. The lovely lady GP examined him and he was good to go.

We then went to the very busy Tesco, where DS bellowed "SHE TOUCHED MY WILLY AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET A TOY!".

Jesus, the LOOKS I got...

My oldest is 21 now, but we had so many of these!

• Twat for quack
• Cock for clock
• Soddit for sausage (we still use that one)
• Lollywaggler for cauliflower (only funny because youngest DC latched onto waggler instead of willy)
• DC2 once told me to Budder Oss when I was trying to stop him doing something 😳

Best of all, when youngest was about 2 freesat were showing a channel called Kix, which was wall-to-wall PowerRangers (FaFengers, obviously). He went to my parents' house and asked to watch it. Couldn't make himself understood and got more and more upset until he was standing in their living room bellowing "I WANT TITS!" at the top of his lungs. My father had to excuse himself to the garden to laugh.

What the hell happened with the formatting there? It was sensible when I typed it!

I'm just leaving this here

@springtimeishereagain apparently DH had been listening to a radio documentary on the confederacy earlier in the day… Really opened our eyes to the extent to which they absorb vocabulary. Listening habits to be better policed going forward!

We were out the other day and had some chalk and a blackboard and my son kept saying “cock” obviously he meant chalk but it didn’t sound like it at all.

black currant is also very difficult
to say too and when he shouts that I am actually hoping the world swallows me
up. He drops the “rra” and shouts at the top of his voice.