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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mummy look at those slags....

281 replies

Feckingfeck · 04/05/2022 21:32

DS2 is 3, he can't pronounce "f" it comes out as an "s"

When walking today to collect DS1 from school we walked past some bunting (flags) and a group of ladies were stood underneath....

"Mummy, look at those slags"

Mortified.

Amongst his other finest moments are running alongside a man in a mobility scooter miming driving and shouting "beep, beep"

AIBU to think my child was born to embarrass me 😂

What words do children you know say that sound like something else?

What have your DC done that have embarrassed you?

Make me laugh to forget my own embarrassment 🙈

OP posts:
LemonadeSunshine · 05/05/2022 00:57

Tears rolling down cheeks here 😂😂😂

Silversprinkles · 05/05/2022 01:01

your pram is magic

In hysterics here Grin

MrsAvocet · 05/05/2022 01:03

When my boys were little there was a popular programme on kids' TV called The Rubberdubbers - not sure if it's still on? Anyway, it had quite a catchy theme tune which my DS loved, but unfortunately couldn't quite pronounce. This led to a highly embarrassing moment in a cafe,when a coach party of rather prim looking of elderly ladies came in and DS decided to serenade them with his best rendition of "Here come the Rubber Buggers".

Jenasaurus · 05/05/2022 01:05

Talking of embarassing things that children do. A friend of mine told me that her DD used to like to talk loudly about people in earshot, so she told her DD we cant speak about people like that, we can talk later at home. So her DD points at a lady on the bus and says, "Mummy, when we get home we are going to talk about her"

OneTitWonder · 05/05/2022 01:31

When he was about 2, my Thomas the Tank Engine obsessed DS used to really love the Fat Controller, and yell out his name whenever he came on the screen. Except his pronunciation made it sound like he was saying 'The Fuck'n Troller'. 😂

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/05/2022 01:32

I can't speak for all wheelchair users of course... but certainly me and my friend love it when little kids think our wheelchairs are cool.

If they can embarrass their parents further by yelling something like 'MUMMY! It's got a V8 ENGINE IN IT I WANT ONE....' (it hasn't, it does say V6 on the side though).... even better! :D

Chickmad · 05/05/2022 01:36

My DD used to love "asshole"......chicken asshole or sausage asshole....she wasn't fussy but would love to share her excitement at the contents of the slow cooker with anyone and everyone loudly!

We still use that instead of casserole today, nearly 20 years later.

We have had "cock" for coke

Also "distructions" from my DB

And an angelic blond haired blue eyed SS who loved his "nice 'n' cream" most of which used to cover his entire face as he seemingly couldn't eat his ice cream cone without plastering himself in it and announcing proudly "me nice 'n' cream!"

Original poster
Feckingfeck · 05/05/2022 01:47

Chickmad · 05/05/2022 01:36

My DD used to love "asshole"......chicken asshole or sausage asshole....she wasn't fussy but would love to share her excitement at the contents of the slow cooker with anyone and everyone loudly!

We still use that instead of casserole today, nearly 20 years later.

We have had "cock" for coke

Also "distructions" from my DB

And an angelic blond haired blue eyed SS who loved his "nice 'n' cream" most of which used to cover his entire face as he seemingly couldn't eat his ice cream cone without plastering himself in it and announcing proudly "me nice 'n' cream!"

Its asshole for tea, washed down with cock 😱

OP posts:
Trifecta · 05/05/2022 02:04

I was in a cafe once with my son who was 3 at the time. A rather large and unkempt man walked up to the front and my son said very loudly, “Why is that man so fat and dirty?” I had a little chat with him about it later but it was mortifying.

shreddednips · 05/05/2022 02:12

My DS loves dinosaurs and knows some quite obscure ones. His favourite is the carnotaurus. Until recently, he couldn't pronounce it properly. This was unfortunate because he enjoyed roaring and telling people in a horribly clear voice that he was a cuntosaurus. With every syllable enunciated 🤦🏼‍♀️

shreddednips · 05/05/2022 02:14

Oh and about any bald man- 'his hair has run out of blatteries, mummy!'

sashh · 05/05/2022 02:40

As someone who uses a walking stick and on occasion a wheelchair please don't ever feel embarrassed if your toddler asks questions, I'm quite happy to tell them my legs don't work properly.

Or if they are attempting to run across the road I might tell them that I used to run off a lot when I was little so I ran out of 'running off ness' and can only walk slowly and that's why mummies don't like you running off.

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 05/05/2022 02:46

My 2 year old was watching Nanny McPhee and the big bang with her older cousin at the weekend and told my husband she really liked "Nanny Fukmee" 🤔

Pickabearanybear · 05/05/2022 02:54

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

a1poshpaws · 05/05/2022 03:03

I've only read up to page 2 and have had to send myself a link to come back after I've slept, as I'm so tired - but a million thanks Feckingfeck for starting this thread, because I'm off to bed with tears of laughter running down my face and I know I'll be able to sleep now!

Absolute GOLD!

Lofari · 05/05/2022 03:24

I love kids attitudes towards wheelchairs. My DS is 6 and uses one. When he got his newest one his friends in school were very happy he had his own "little Ferrari".
Made me smile.

Dumbitdown · 05/05/2022 03:28

A good while back my brother was in the changing rooms at the pool with his daughters and there was a rather corpulent gent nearby. My niece, who has only the two volume settings (loud and louder) yelled 'Daddy! Why has that man got boobies??'
When she didn't get a satisfactory reply, she insisted on asking again, and then her sister looked over and back with eyes like dinner plates to squeal 'omigod he HAS got boobies!!' and they repeated the question in unison, several times, while my brother got them all changed and out of there with a level of dexterity he has yet to top.

pantsandpringles · 05/05/2022 03:39

I was carrying my three year old out the bathroom after her shower, and every single time for at least a year she said her usual -
points to the Buddha canvas (half of his face, taken as a close-up of a statue)

"that looks like daddy!"

I nodded and smiled as I usually did, with a twinkly "does it, sweetheart?"

Except this time she added "because he's got a big nose, and a big face!"

I heard her dad laughing from two rooms away.

And last week she was playing "let's point to every random stranger on the bus and ask if it's her daddy"

And then got into an argument with me that someone down the front of the bus who was older than my own father was definitely her daddy because he had both hair, and eyes.

For what it's worth, her father and I have been together about 8 years and have lived together her whole life so fuck knows what she was talking about 😂

lborgia · 05/05/2022 04:08

Robinni · 05/05/2022 00:29

Middle of shop

So Daddy has a willy?

Yes

And… I have a willy?

Yes

But you DO NOT have a WILLY?

Yes

(very concerned look, furrows eyebrows, moves closer placing hand on top of mine)

Don’t worry Mummy, I pay for it.

🤣🤣🤣

So similar! I got -
"daddy got a willy?"
"Yep"
"Me got a willy?"
"Yep"
Then the resigned statement..
"Mummy just a bit furry....." Grin

ThisSeemsSilly · 05/05/2022 05:41

This was my son. He loved the song “My Grandfather’s Clock” and would belt it out. The song takes on a different meaning if clock is no longer clock.

cloudengel · 05/05/2022 05:56

My two seem to be fascinated by whether I'm on my period or not, which tends to result in "So, mama, you're not on your period today." Or "Mama! Why is there blood in your knickers?" shouted at the top of their voice, whenever we use the same cubicle in public toilets.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 05/05/2022 06:14

Honaloulou · 04/05/2022 21:34

Ooooh yes. there is a big clock near DD's nursery.

She loves it, but can't pronounce Ls.

My son had the same. Used to correct him loudly after each yell of 'cock' I was mortified 😂

greentrees9 · 05/05/2022 06:21

ATHIS!

Elderflower14 · 05/05/2022 06:25

Ds2 is profoundly deaf and learned to speak very late... Mumma was transposed into "Bugger" He was often heard charging round shops shouting it!!
On the subject of flags/slags... Many years ago we were visiting family in Hastings.. Ds2 was in his pushchair and getting bored as I wheeled him into town. I bought him a Millennium flag with a wooden handle.. I stopped at the cash machine and left ds2 behind me. As I was tapping away I became aware of a man coming to the machine next to me. The man was tapping away and suddenly stopped with his hand frozen over the keypad. I finished and turned to be met with ds2 who had slipped out of his straps and was leaning forward and poking the man with his flag.. Poor man thought he was being mugged!!
After abject apologies we left very fast!! 🤣 🤣 🤣

Chooksnroses · 05/05/2022 06:54

My husband uses a mobility scooter and would be delighted if a child shouted beep beep at him.....he'd definitely beep the horn for them!

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