Mummy look at those slags....

[Feckingfeck]

DS2 is 3, he can't pronounce "f" it comes out as an "s"

When walking today to collect DS1 from school we walked past some bunting (flags) and a group of ladies were stood underneath....

"Mummy, look at those slags"

Mortified.

Amongst his other finest moments are running alongside a man in a mobility scooter miming driving and shouting "beep, beep"

AIBU to think my child was born to embarrass me 😂

What words do children you know say that sound like something else?

What have your DC done that have embarrassed you?

Make me laugh to forget my own embarrassment 🙈

It’s my favourite porn!! Look at the porn.

FAWN. It’s Mr Tumbus, he is a FAWN.

😂

Tumnus. Fuck off autocorrect…

My son pronounced l as w. This was marvellous when my parents moved to Lancashire.

My oldest used to pronounce chocolate as 'cockshit' when she was a toddler. Chocolate buttons were 'cockshit butter'. I still call them that to this day (although not in front of the kids)!

When my dd was 3 she used to say 'f' instead of 's'. I've got a lovely video of her telling me that her new baby cousin was "fucking his thumb".

My youngest doesn’t sleep. Once, literally once, while walking up and down the lounge trying to settle 8 week old her her I whispered “Can you just sleep and give me a break baby”

Two days later have the in laws round. My then three year old DD sighs massively dramatically, stomps over to her dolls pram (next to the Moses basket), hauls the doll out by its leg and marches up and down the living room sighing and saying “will you just give me a break baby” in a properly exasperated tone.

Same DD, age 5, tried to stop a man leaving FIL’s care home because she thought he was a resident trying to escape (it was a dementia centre so it did happen). Poor guy had only been in to drop flowers off for someone.

@LeFeu my ds had a tantrum in Sainsburys when he was wee & screamed 'cockporn, cockporn, I want COOOOCCCKKPOOOORRNN!!!!!!!!!

DS (now 31) was three when he asked, in that piercing voice they can have, "Mymmy, why is that man wearing a dress?!" It was an older lady with a bit of a facial hair issue. Would he let it go? No. "But he's got a beard!!" I cant remember how I shut him up, bribed with chocolate probably, but I was so embarrassed....

Sitting with three year old (now almost 40) in the back of fil’s car, we went over one of those humps that shift your stomach. Two year old yells ‘that makes my Willie go up!’. FiL almost crashed the car, I tried to exit via the boot!

@Feckingfeck agree, my son was 6 when he said the comment about chocolate faces and yes, he was the only white kid in the class (we are obviously not racist else he wouldn't have been sent to that school!). His nickname became casper (the little white ghost cartoon that was out at the time), I guess I should have complained to the school that was racist 🙄 it wasn't, it was simply children observing differences like a lot of the other embarrassing comments that they have amused us with👏😁

My child when little - trying to mimic the sound of a clock.

TIT COCK TIT COCK TIT COCK!

I died.

As for 'Big wanker coming' upthread, I'm undone all over again.

My brother, who is 4 years younger than me, used to substitute the letter 't' for the letter 'c', particularly at the start of words. When I was about 8 or 9, I used to live for the days where he'd gone to school and had Lemon Curd for pudding.

My 4 year announced that she really wanted to watch "Dick wad" on tv ...turned out it was "deer squad"

traffic lights...my ds2-1st "gears bike"yelled-this things a lemon...peddling like a dealer at glasto-got noplace.this wee lady said "oh..i like your bike isit new"him all(gigglebiz patter"no..i been cyclin bikes more than twenty yeeeahs"...then "do you ride"(where the fks the beeps)

Took 4-yr-old DS with me into the camping site showers. We go into our cubicle and undress. All other cubicles full, everyone can hear everyone else.
Suddenly notice DS is staring at me, horrified.
Me: What's the matter?
DS: Mummy!
Me: What, sweetie?
DS: MUMMY!
Me: What?
DS: WHO DID THAT TO YOU?
Me: What?!
DS: WHO CUT OFF YOUR WILLY?

We went to a wedding, as the groom walked up the aisle DS1 called out, 'mummy, Darren looks like Mr Pickwick.'

My nephew used to say bugger instead of burger. I found it amusing, partly due to my sister's embarrassment so any time we were in town, I'd ask him if he wanted a McDonald's and what he wanted from there. "Bugger, bugger, bugger" in a loud voice while my sister hissed at both of us to be quiet and for me to stop asking him.

@sheepandcaravan - I've just started reading but I already know that "see-saw, bugger it all" is going to be my favourite.

Mine is just a copying one, but I got called to the nursery at work to find 3 very concerned staff wanting to interrogate me.

Apparently my 2 year old had been singing "cunt, cunt, cunt" and asked a member of staff if she was a cunt?

I was speechless. Rang dh in a complete tizz. He said they had an interesting bloke behind them on the bus that morning f'ing and blinding at someone on the phone.

Tbf, it's a very good word to say, but it was a very long morning..

When my brother was about 3 , my mother brought him to a hospital appointment and their were Muslim women there wearing the hijab and my brother starting roaring crying and shouting about the scary ghosts. My mother nearly died from shame and tried to explain that he had never seen anyone dressed like that before. Thankfully the women saw the funny side of it.

@PeekabooAtheZoo its Fox chopping wood!

not me but friend had to take her small DD to her smear test and was v. straightforward about it; said the doctor had to look at her vagina. She had some explaining to do at nursery the next day after DD apparently told everyone very excitedly she had been with mummy while a doctor licked her vagina.

My eldest was hilarious. She used to say she liked playing with the paedo at nursery. Playdoh.

She once asked a topless woman why her boobs were so low down.

She would tell me to stop yanking her foreskin when doing her hair. Forehead! 🤦🏽‍♀️

’Look mummy! That lady has chicken pox like I did!’
Acne
It was ACNE!
The horror

My DD used to call cornflakes Porn flakes

Learning the word couldn’t… missed a few letters… very loudly in front of extended family 😱

“CoUldN’T…..#%#” *big beaming proud smile 🤣🤣🤣

This!!!

exact same - walking past a teen boy at bus stop “Does he have chicken pox?” 😱

also every old person going
”They’re so old, you’re so OLD, did you know you’re old? Are you going to die soon?”

No, but Mummy might of embarrassment 🥴