Mummy look at those slags....

[Feckingfeck]

DS2 is 3, he can't pronounce "f" it comes out as an "s"

When walking today to collect DS1 from school we walked past some bunting (flags) and a group of ladies were stood underneath....

"Mummy, look at those slags"

Mortified.

Amongst his other finest moments are running alongside a man in a mobility scooter miming driving and shouting "beep, beep"

AIBU to think my child was born to embarrass me 😂

What words do children you know say that sound like something else?

What have your DC done that have embarrassed you?

Make me laugh to forget my own embarrassment 🙈

Ds worked out that we lived in a flat, whereas my parents lived in a house. For the next few weeks he announced this to everyone possible. Unfortunately he had neither the grammar nor the pronunciation...

"Mumma go fuck. Gandad ass."

I leave you to work out for yourself what he would say when he was with dh. We were very relieved when he mastered the sounds L and T!

DD used to pronounce f's as b's. All well and good til she wants faster, faster on the swing and it sounds like bastard, bastard.

My now 12 year old used to be obsessed with blueberries as a toddler. On the bus especially, she used to shout out 'boobies mummy, I want boobies'.

As a youngster my sister made up a ditty about ghosts and goolies rather than ghouls. She was quite surprised by the answer when she asked our dad what goolies actually were.

Talking about verbs with my 6 year old. Hes firing them out then he comes out with 'dogging' 🙈

Fuck instead of quack.

Me: "What do ducks say?"

DD: "fuck fuck fuck"

My cousin used to call sheep 'shits'

Really? She should hear the stories my DM tells about my brother

One of mine used to talk about "The doggy on the dick.." (it was an old tree stump that had a dog carved on top of it to advertise a kennels).

Eldest DD aged 3/4 was a precocious one. Every Friday wanted a fish from the fresh fish counter at Tesco. One day there wasn’t anyone there as they were short staffed ‘Mummy where are our servants ? They haven’t got enough servants here ….’ As I hissed servers not servants. Some how it got into her head and every so often she would thank someone in a shop for being a good servant or a nice friendly servant - made me sound like a right dick.

also would always tell strange men what colour knickers I was wearing and asked them what colour they were wearing and hers - honestly Tesco was awful on the weekly shop

My 3yo has been going through the usual “see you later alligator, in a while crocodile”. My aunt recently added to it with “bye for now jersey cow” however when he repeated it to my MIL he definitely sounded like “bye for now dirty cow”. Cue my frantic explanation but her face was priceless

DD 3 has lovely manners. It’s just a pity that her “thank you mummy” sounds an awful lot like “fuck you mummy” 🙈 constantly have to assure people I’m with she is not swearing at me!

Really giggling about "Mind your own bloody business" 😂.
My little princess told MIL on the phone she'd had sod all for tea. Must moderate my language more and she'd had sausage pasta actually.

When ds was a toddler Stick Man was Dick Man.

@Summerholidayorcovidagain 😂😂 that's made me laugh out loud!!

Reminded me of the time I went to view a new school that my youngest son was going to and see his classroom, he stage whispered 'mummy why does everybody have a chocolate face' fortunately he waited until I was outside in the corridor.

Then there was the time when he was about 2 that he proudly announced to my snobbish mother (think Hyacinth Bucket, no body parts or rude words ever mentioned in our house growing up) 'I know where eggs come from........ Expected supermarket......... No I got 'from hen's bottoms'😚😳

I remember my DS running around the park looking for 'big dicks' (sticks). 'Mummy I got a big dick', 'look at this dick' .....

She was right about ghoulies though, it's 'From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord deliver us!'

My 4 yo DS (now 20) got squashed on a commuter train. No seats and he was obviously much shorter than everyone else so could only see feet. It was summer and v hot. Next to him, equally squashed, was a lady wearing sandals. Everybody was uncomfortable it was that awkward silence and suddenly DS loudly piped up "mummy why don't this lady's sandals fit her toes are off the end?" I shushed him and apologised and then he loudly said "and her feet are dirty!" In an indignant voice. Our station couldn't come quick enough.

My 4yo struggles to pronounce 's' sounds when it's in a word. He loves collecting sticks so he always shouting about how good/big/amazing 'dicks' are when out on walks 😫He also seems to have an uncontrollable urge to point out when someone is in a wheelchair as if I haven't noticed "look mummy that lady is in a wheelchair". Also in aldi in the queue once there was a man stood behind me who was a bit on the larger side (noticeably so) and my DS said super loudly "mummy that man looks like an egg", I think that was my most mortifying one

Oh God, these are bringing back memories. There were lots of dicks when we went for walks.

One of my delightful then-toddlers informed a Tesco assistant at top volume that "Mummy has got a stuck poo". It was true, as constipation was one of my pregnancy delights. I didn't necessarily want to share it with Tesco, though.

Another then-toddler was waiting in a queue at the side of a young man whose jeans were more or less around his knees (as was the fashion in the late 90s), revealing too much of his white pants. Said toddler asked him why he was wearing a nappy.

I used to use a mobility scooter and would LOVE it if a little kid came up and pretended to drive! Now I use a wheelchair and often get curious looks from toddlers in pushchairs, I usually smile or wave at them, it's very cute. (I have a little friend who loves driving my electric wheelchair safely inside the house so I get the appeal)

My daughter couldn't say the L in clock. There was a clock on the wall at the doctors, just on the wall behind the receptionist. She would point and shout clock.... Without the L

My now 28 year old daughter once asked a bald man in Tesco cafe .. " where has all your hair done ?"

Same daughter once asked my colleague who had given me a lift home " why is your hair all cloudy ". She was silver white haired

Her brother told the lady on the till in Woolworths that he did not mean to eat the sweet he found on the bloody floor at the pick and mix .. it was an accident

Other brother opened a pack of sanitary towels while sat in his buggy and plastered one to each ear !!!

I could go on and on and on ....

Our toddler also can’t say stick …

unfortunately he loves the book and animation of stick man … so frequently asks for ‘dick man’ story / viewing also needs to look for dick man in the park to ‘play with’

we get a few looks as he’s running round shouting ‘play with dick man 🙈’

@Athena51

There is always one who has to try to pretend to be offended... stop pissing on this parade!

Because a child can be racist at 2 or 3?

DS1 was about 6/7 when he realised his skin was a different colour to anyone else's.