Mummy look at those slags....

[Feckingfeck]

DS2 is 3, he can't pronounce "f" it comes out as an "s"

When walking today to collect DS1 from school we walked past some bunting (flags) and a group of ladies were stood underneath....

"Mummy, look at those slags"

Mortified.

Amongst his other finest moments are running alongside a man in a mobility scooter miming driving and shouting "beep, beep"

AIBU to think my child was born to embarrass me 😂

What words do children you know say that sound like something else?

What have your DC done that have embarrassed you?

Make me laugh to forget my own embarrassment 🙈

DS1 and I called in on DH at work one day during school holidays (he is a Head and had some meetings). DS1 was about 4. School caretaker was a very strange man. Strange looking. Strange mannerisms but canny.
DS1 - very uncomfortable with caretakers mannerisms and fascinated by his appearance 'Mummy is that man from another world?'

When he was about 2-3 he said 'dic-dic' for biscuit. 'Dick Dick!' 'Mummy Dick Dick over there' 'I want Dick Dick'.

He was obsessed with doing a poo and would ask PIL about poos 'I done a big poo today- did you do a big poo granny?'
'Did you do a 'normous poo grandad- I did'.

My youngest dd's favourite meal was always spaghetti bollocknaise.

Proud announcement - “Grandad taught me how to wank”. Thankfully followed with a WINK.

What is your AIBU OP?

This made me laugh so much 😂 Absolutely adorable

My nephew was 2 at the time he's 9 now lol.
I had a parcel coming by DPD and I had an email saying 'parcel will arrive today by Steve' so I said parcel Steve will drop my parcel here today.
'ASSHOLE STEVE' . He definitely meant parcel.

When I was young I used to say fuck room instead of front room .

My brother was asked what he was called in similar circumstances and at a similar age. He just shouted “mind your own bloody business” at the man who’d asked!

Youngest couldn’t say l and used to call watches clocks… without the L. She had looked at DPs watch every 30 seconds all day until he told her to give him a rest from it, she didn’t mention it for an hour or so. Sat in a busy doctors waiting room and she said “Daddy when can I see your cock again”

We're really struggling with sit.

"Shit, mummy. Shit there. Mummy, shit!"

Everywhere, all the time.

Also "bloody hell, Daddy" but that is entirely my fault. I said it ONE TIME when she could barely speak getting her pram out of the ridiculous place he'd put it. Then I laughed ONE TIME when she said it weeks later when I put her in the pram. It cannot be undone now. The damage is done.

I’m crying at this 🤣🤣🤣

My DS was obsessed with clocks when he was about 2 and would loudly point them out whenever he saw them.

Unfortunately he couldn't pronounce the L

I wondered if it was "AIBU that all these children are hilariously racist and fatphobic?" but maybe not...

My ex used to like playing Tom Jones music in his car. 2 year old son learned some of the words. When in supermarket he started asinging at top of his voice sex bomb, sex bomb you my sex bomb. I could have died.

Much better than the original, I think!

Bought DS (4) a toy lizard wearing pyjamas, which he calls ba-jarmas.
He told the lady in the bakery he had a new lizard with a ba-gina.

When ds was tiny tiny (2 ish) he dropped his ice cream and said ‘oh fuck’.

(We rarely/never swear in our family)

Reading Rabbit's Nap, there's a bit where the story says "whack, crack, what's that?" and he always repeats the line, but he pronounces it "crap, crap, wossat?"
Queue a lecture from MIL when he said it in front of her. Apparently children of the 70s and 80s never, ever mispronounced words.

AIBU to think DS2 was born to embarrass me?

When I was small, I was on the Underground and asked my mum, "Why are they called Black people when they have brown faces?" While staring at a Black woman next to us. Apparently she agreed with me.

A male friend visited a work colleague. They finished their meeting and he was on his way out His colleagues DD (aboyt 6 or 7) said, 'Did you know my mums got hairs down there they are brown and curly and there are lots of them?' My friend said he said 'Oh right' to the child, 'Bye' to everyone else and ran out the door.

The next day his colleague repeated the story in the office....

My #3 pronounced S as F for a really long time. One day on the school run he sped past his Dad and brother on his scooter happily shouting 'see you later, fuckers!' 😆

We had this one!!

Bollocknaise lasted a few years 😂 as did the less rude but cute glubs (gloves)

Could have written this about my just turned 3 year old. Everytime we go mcdonalds the woman that cleans the tables presents him with a slag.

He also like to say "nana's dick" (stick) as in walking stick 🙈

DD used to do the cock for clock one. She added another level of embarrassment by describing a watch as a 'tiny cock'. So she would point to wrists - which are generally at crotch level and say 'tiny cock'. I died, especially when she did it to women!