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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mummy look at those slags....

281 replies

Feckingfeck · 04/05/2022 21:32

DS2 is 3, he can't pronounce "f" it comes out as an "s"

When walking today to collect DS1 from school we walked past some bunting (flags) and a group of ladies were stood underneath....

"Mummy, look at those slags"

Mortified.

Amongst his other finest moments are running alongside a man in a mobility scooter miming driving and shouting "beep, beep"

AIBU to think my child was born to embarrass me 😂

What words do children you know say that sound like something else?

What have your DC done that have embarrassed you?

Make me laugh to forget my own embarrassment 🙈

OP posts:
Drame · 04/05/2022 23:25

DS once asked me very insistently for an ‘asscake’ over and over again. I was utterly baffled until he demonstrated by bouncing up and down on my knee- he wanted me to simulate an earthquake.

if we’re in public I tend to repeat the correct word back very loudly for the benefit of passers by ‘yes DS, that is a very big STICK’

merryhouse · 04/05/2022 23:26

@nameoftheday my son did similar, only less horrified and more quiet interest. He was 2ish. I was lost in a world of my own and only half listening...

"that one's bwo-ten"
"what's broken, sweetheart?"
"mummy's penis is bwo-ten"

I'm afraid I laughed. Then I made a point of explaining that Mummy has other things instead but they're inside so you can't see them.

Then there was the lunchtime when S2 asked if he could have the same drink that Mummy was having (Ribena). In a slightly scandalised tone, S1 said "no, that's ALCOHOL, [S2]!"

I had visions of him telling the nursery staff that mummy drinks a pint of pink alcohol with her lunch every day...

chisanunian · 04/05/2022 23:30

DemBonesDemBones · 04/05/2022 22:23

My #3 pronounced S as F for a really long time. One day on the school run he sped past his Dad and brother on his scooter happily shouting 'see you later, fuckers!' 😆

This has given me a good chuckle!

My dd also used to love playing with a stick when we were out for a walk. With her it was the 't' that caused the problem. "Mummy, sick, Mummy gimme sick, I WANT SICK.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 04/05/2022 23:32

Eldest DS had been out on a trip with Dad somewhere, car had been playing up. Next time at inlaws, he is on his Thomas the Tank Engine sit and ride toy and comes out with for god sake Thomas fucking start will you.

Wills · 04/05/2022 23:33

DS1 couldn’t pronounce ‘st’ - invariably it sounded like a ‘d’ when he tried. His two ‘older’ sister’s pounced on this and egged him on to call everyone a stick head!

Being only 2 at the time he was, of course, eager to please his sisters. The ultimate frustration is that the eldest, who egged him on the most, is very much on the autistic spectrum and couldn’t/ still can’t see why I punished her rather than her brother!

Clearthinking · 04/05/2022 23:34

Ask my youngest what her favourite colour is and you get "pimp i like pimp!" She loves pink

buckleten · 04/05/2022 23:35

When really little mine stared at someone with purple hair in the supermarket, and asked really loudly why did that man have purple hair... it was a woman!

Thankgoditsbedtyme · 04/05/2022 23:47

My first child went to my friends house and asked her why isn’t your house clean like my mummy’s don’t you have an hoover. My second boy recently said to a waitress as we were paying the bill at the front of a packed restaurant “I love your boobies” the poor girl and my dh didn’t know where to put their face. I had to walk out laughing 😂

sarahann1211112 · 04/05/2022 23:56

My 3 year old always asking her older sister "can I have some chewing cum. I want chewing cum!"

BlackeyedSusan · 05/05/2022 00:01

black cunt= blackcurrant...
pakka = Makka pakka...
daddy's cock= daddy's watch

katseyes7 · 05/05/2022 00:01

Oh god. Crying.
Pulled up next to a wheelchair user when DD was about 2.5 and she turned to the man and asked very loudly ‘why are you in a pram like me?’. The man was very friendly and gave a nice response but when it started going on it’s own when the lights changed she actually screamed ‘YOUR PRAM IS MAGIC’. Dying dying dead.

Origamiheaven · 05/05/2022 00:05

Summerholidayorcovidagain · 04/05/2022 22:07

Not a dc but my parenting - novice dh. Looking round Mothercare with The Baby Essentials List...I went to the prams. Dh went elsewhere - shouts he has found the Muslims. .
I died a bit that day.
😩

This made me properly laugh

L0stinCyberspace · 05/05/2022 00:06

My DS kept telling me that his teacher liked WANKY CANDLES (near end of year CF Teach liked to hint) and when I gently suggested Yankee Candles he became much louder, much more insiatent and repeated WANKY candles. 😂

JedEye · 05/05/2022 00:06

Crimesean · 04/05/2022 21:56

Mine did that too, he told a group of giggling teenage hikers once that "my Daddy has a big dick!" (DH was carrying a large stick they'd found together). I was absolutely mortified, DH just smirked and said "that's right, son" 😳

Show quote history
Grin
katseyes7 · 05/05/2022 00:07

When my youngest stepson was about five, he loved the film The Commitments. Mainly for the music. Or so his dad thought.
Until the day in the newsagents, while he was choosing some sweets, and he announced to the bemused lady behind the counter "I'm black and I'm proud!"
The lady looked at daddy. "What did he say?"
He's not black. Far from it. He's of lrish heritage. Dark hair, very pale skin. Daddy couldn't get him out of the shop quick enough.
Thank god l wasn't there.

NannyGythaOgg · 05/05/2022 00:12

PeekabooAtheZoo · 04/05/2022 22:21

Reading Rabbit's Nap, there's a bit where the story says "whack, crack, what's that?" and he always repeats the line, but he pronounces it "crap, crap, wossat?"
Queue a lecture from MIL when he said it in front of her. Apparently children of the 70s and 80s never, ever mispronounced words.

Oh yes they did.

My kids were born in the late 70s and they frequently embarrassed me with their pronunciations, many of which are same/similar to these.

mowly77 · 05/05/2022 00:13

sweeneytoddsrazor · 04/05/2022 23:32

Eldest DS had been out on a trip with Dad somewhere, car had been playing up. Next time at inlaws, he is on his Thomas the Tank Engine sit and ride toy and comes out with for god sake Thomas fucking start will you.

Golden.

LemonPledge555 · 05/05/2022 00:17

@LuluBlakey1 I’m crying 😂😂😂

ImprobablePuffin · 05/05/2022 00:20

sheepandcaravan · 04/05/2022 21:47

Dd sings loudly in the park

Seesaw bugger it all

This is how I feel mostly.

ImprobablePuffin · 05/05/2022 00:22

Blanket was wanker in our house. Running around shouting it with blanket held triumphantly aloft.

Danikm151 · 05/05/2022 00:26

Toddler got his wellingtons and proudly pronounced “willies” in nursery in front of everyone

Robinni · 05/05/2022 00:29

Middle of shop

So Daddy has a willy?

Yes

And… I have a willy?

Yes

But you DO NOT have a WILLY?

Yes

(very concerned look, furrows eyebrows, moves closer placing hand on top of mine)

Don’t worry Mummy, I pay for it.

🤣🤣🤣

CounsellorTroi · 05/05/2022 00:32

L0stinCyberspace · 05/05/2022 00:06

My DS kept telling me that his teacher liked WANKY CANDLES (near end of year CF Teach liked to hint) and when I gently suggested Yankee Candles he became much louder, much more insiatent and repeated WANKY candles. 😂

I shall think of them as wanly candles for ever more.

when my DH was little he was sitting on the bus with his mum next to a lady in a fur coat. He stroked the coat and said “aw pussy”.

BoredZelda · 05/05/2022 00:33

My second boy recently said to a waitress as we were paying the bill at the front of a packed restaurant “I love your boobies” the poor girl and my dh didn’t know where to put their face. I had to walk out laughing 😂

I’m not sure why this is funny. Presumably you reminded him that’s not acceptable?

Theunamedcat · 05/05/2022 00:49

Ds2 having a pee by a Bush on the long trip to see his sibling (literally no toilets around and the sheep don't seem to mind) I said hurry up son mommy needs to find a toilet he said I could share his Bush I said I don't have a penis I can't just pee by a Bush he was shocked and when he hot back in the car was loudly telling his brother I don't have a penis saw his sister told HER I don't have a penis.....we stopped him from talking to strangers that day