To think male violence will never end?

[YouAreNotBatman]

I was reading the news about 14 year old boy raping and killing a 10 year old girl and I just became so tired.
So tired of endless violence boys and men do to girls and women.
And how they don’t care, they seem to think it’s funny or get angry at any woman who try and speak about it.

Well as we raise the children that grow into the men it says a lot about our parenting skills.

As its predominantly partner violence don't marry, don't live with men. Don't have children and stop raising the next generation of abusers. If you are having children check the sex and abort the male, boy babies ae the source of the future abusers.

More seriously remember that the way you raise your children affects who they become so raise them to be respectful. Also if you currently have boys then no matter how well they behave to mumsnet they are potential monsters.

I honestly hope there comes a day where poor Sarah Everard is not thrown into everything bloody debate on anything involving a man.

We were asked at the time to stop doing it by her traumatised family, yet here we still are.

It's a pointless debate on MN because this side of the argument isn't willing to listen. I could point out the number of women who have enabled and encouraged men to murder over the years and I would just be told that they must have been scared.

I understand that they are predominantly committed by men, I haven't disputed that. But all of the men blaming in the world doesn't fix the issue.

Why did this boy rape and kill this girl? Why do men kill women? What can we do as a society to prevent and change this. Note - the answer isn't slagging off all men and claiming that no women ever has hurt us. Murder is the worst crime because it's the ultimate end. I get that. But pretending that no other kind of bad treatment happens and destroys lives is somewhat unfair.

Yes. That OK with you?

The OP asked if it would ever stop, and those that have considered the question rather than the NAMALT angle have said no. We as a society should be looking at why. It can't just be down to upbringing, as siblings can have hugely varying personality and behaviour traits. Neither can it be just down to violence in games, films and so on given the number of people who play or watch these things. Surely there must be something within a person (maybe something neurological?) that outside influences trigger??
I am just musing here really, I have no real concrete ideas. As I said in my earlier post I do think lower level violence has become more acceptable and it would definitely be a good start to make that more unacceptable.

The thing that baffles me is put aside the women being victims thing. Men are more likely to be victims of violent crime at the hands of other men.

So why don't they care about it? Why aren't they worried about the level of violence?

Oh for goodness sake. That is absolute made up nonsense.

50 percent of children in care end up in prison. I wonder why.

It's far more likely that the ABSENCE of a parent causes abnormal behaviour.

And, watch me get burned by MN, women have a part to play in who they choose to have their children with. Incidentally, every single murdering man had a mother. Are we blaming any of them or just the ones with a penis?

I'm not sure I understand this point.

If you're saying that they were criticised for being male rather than Muslim then surely you're just proving the point of the poster you quoted, which is that men seem to be the only protected characteristic that's its OK to complain about.

Personally, I'm up for open discussion about extremism/crime in ethnic minorities, male violence, trans issues, the whole shebang. But the modus operandi seems to be that it's OK to openly criticise men but never Muslims, LGBT people, etc.

Of course they do.

We just don't listen to them.

I once pointed out on a thread the male suicide rate and was told "they're even violent to themselves". Men do care. Of course they care. Incidentally, they care about their sisters, mothers and partners.

And what do we do? Read about a murder in the paper and jump online to label them all violent, make up reasons why crimes happen, and if anyone dares to support them, bully them back into submission. We claim they can't possibly know what we go through, scoff at them being feminists, ridicule them (I dare you to google the phrase on MN 'the poor menz' and how it is not our role to help them but then repeatedly claim they should care about our cause.

Which on MN is all fine but in the real world...? We need them, and they need us. Rather than men and women, good and bad might be a better idea.

Well, not really, because it’s such obvious bullshit.

aw OK.

That's me told.

It's far more likely that the ABSENCE of a parent causes abnormal behaviour.

What an awful generalisation. Not to mention victim blaming women who've found themselves at the hands of an abuser after having had children with someone whom they believed to be a good man.

Do you think abusive partners are abusive from day one? Do you think they'd even get a second date let alone anything else if they gave their true colours away immediately??

I managed to bring my son up to be a good man with the absence of a decent father.

They add up.
And with that we can clearly see men are much, much more violent.

It is though, it’s such an obvious way to shut down any discussion about male violence - ‘you think all men are violent’.

How do you know they don't! Surely it's quite telling that a common movie trope is the weaker male standing up to the bullu and kicking his arse.

I think men don't want to admit weakness. Also that they are more prepared to take the risk than women.

Incidentally, back to the OP rather than the random challenging of PP with the same old very boring narrative,

this child raped a girl and killed her. It was a sexually charged crime, presumably (I personally don't think speculating about these types of stories on the internet is cricket, especially not in line with a cause). How did this child get to 14 without this being noticed and dealt with?

Were his emotions dismissed (common in men). Did he not have a role model at home (who do we blame for that?) or did he have a bad role model (again, whos fault?) Was he born evil (if so, can women be born evil?) Does society have a part to play (You can't blame lad culture at 14).

My point is - asking if male violence will ever stop as a result of a crime by one person against another is a pretty wide question and one that as much as they would like to, the MN standard trope of violent men cant fix.

I note that nobody has actually offered solutions.

And what are men doing to end male violence?
How are they working with/for women to make a world a better place?

Whilst murders are completely terrible and abhorrent, and ignoring the click bait figures like "2 women killed very week", Murders in the UK are extremely rare, the latest annual homicide rate for males (14 per million population) 0.0014%, for females (6 per million population) 0.0006%.

In fact so rare that labelling all or most men as humans to be feared is just preaching a bias hatred of men to be dealt with and controlled. Its far to common to see the feminists on this board, flooding all discussions with all men are evil. I love both my sons are just as stable as my daughter so cast them as some potential threat to all women is just political posturing and dam right decisive.

Main Stream media and Social media now hype every tragic incident to fever point and it can be seen here.

Dammit. Left that one off my bingo card.

Agreed. But don your tin hat :D

They arent being violent themselves, that is not enough.

I asked on a board once what women were doing about the abhorrent suicide rate. I was told (amongst the disgusting comments about them even being violent to themselves, poor menz etc) that it wasnt their problem to fix.

so why is it mens?

Because, men are violent!! end of!!

Incidentally, I don't know a single man who would find the rape of a child funny (you know, the OP that we've all ignored).

Interesting,

My sentence wasn't OK but it was OK to say that violent people are raised by violent fathers - I see you missed the point I was responding to.

Truly interesting.

What about the fathers of violent sons? Are they not victims?

Or (in the rest of my post that you ignored) the mothers of truly evil men?

Why do it though?

Right, so you will know its more complicated than male just being big bad evil people.

Where have I (or anyone else for that matter ) says that all men are big bad evil people?
I haven't, I know they aren't.
However, when two women a week are Berlin killed by their male partner or previous partner that does suggest that a significant number of men are 'bad' people.

Male violence is a problem. That doesn't mean there aren't other problems in the world. It doesn't mean I'm saying all men are a problem.

Unfortunately I know about this first hand, and my experience ( my mum being killed by her partner for simply wanting to leave him) has led me to support women who are victims of domestic violence.

To come on a thread which is discussing male violence against women simply to protest NAMALT is nothing but insulting. We know it's not all men but we know it's a significant number of them. That's enough for me to consider this a problem.