To think male violence will never end?

[YouAreNotBatman]

I was reading the news about 14 year old boy raping and killing a 10 year old girl and I just became so tired.
So tired of endless violence boys and men do to girls and women.
And how they don’t care, they seem to think it’s funny or get angry at any woman who try and speak about it.

Yep, toxic masculinity.

True.

Bloody hell Pumper. Maybe its because its 715 am, but I agree with you!

On the same point you disagreed with last night!

No, not really.

I never said I don't think toxic masculinity exists.

It depends how it's framed.

I know, I obviously don't agree with a blanket curfew for all males but I still feel you are downplaying the endemic of male violence.

I work in this area, it's mainly male crime I process. Case after case after case. Obviously women commit crime (and it's usually drug acquisitive) but it's nowhere near the levels committed by males. Instead of meaningfully discussing this, you run of to Wikipedia to look up domestic violence against males. Why?

Found it. You also said you didn’t know anyone in real life who says boys will be boys and it only happens on mumsnet.

I disagreed with the colour thing. I don't disagree that the way we expect men to be strong and deal with everything is an issue.

I stand by my view on boys will be boys. I've never heard it used.

But thanks for reminding me of my own words, where would I be without you.

Pumper, is there a way to quote just the part of the post you want? Your posts are taking up an excessive portion of each thread (I appreciate your post itself isn't, its the repost).

Sure, it was specifically the colour think you were arguing about and not the difference in socialisation between girls and boys. I think it was Vera Duckworth you used as an example of how women are taught to be violent - probably fifty years since she was on tv, wasn’t it? And yet women still aren’t killing anywhere near as many people as men.

But you do believe there’s an issue in toxic masculinity in male suicide. I wonder why that’s more important than toxic masculinity when it affects women?

I have to go to work quite soon but here’s some advice - when you name change for your next shot at this, try to pick an angle and stick with it. You’ve been quite contradictory on this thread - men kill accidentally! I never said that! Men don’t know their own strength! That’s not what I meant! If men and women were the same size men wouldn’t be more violent! That doesn’t mean they kill accidentally! and so on - and it makes the nested threads really annoying to read.

SERIOUSLY?

even on this thread we can’t discuss it

There is simply NO COMPARISON between male and female violence and well you know it.

I actually hope you’re a man rather than a woman.

Fifty years?! You cheeky lady! I told you I grew up watching her! (and I'm far off 50).

Seriously though, that was a flippant point. My point was we all soak in what we read.

Haha thanks for the advice. ...however, two points

1. I didnt name change "for a shot at this" believe it or not, one is allowed to delete an account and reinstate several years later because of their own circumstances without reporting to you
2. Secondly, the reason I (and several other posters) are not contradictory is simply because we never actually said the things you were accusing us of. So of course we are going to argue it.

The reason I don't have an 'angle' is because i dont think its black and white, as with most people out there. So I may disagree with something, read a post and think no actually, theyve got a point. For a great example, I've thought that at times with you pumper (and I stuc up for you yesterday when someone completely misrepresented you) and then other times you write posts like this and I think, nah.

Incidentally. I won't take "makes threads annoying" advice from someone who writes the same question sometimes 7, 8 times in a row because they dont like the answer.

The thing is, just because you are a long term poster doesn't mean you rule the boards. We're the same out there, you and I. I'll go off to work and so will you, we'll both be good humans.

You can't control other people. A lesson you need to learn

Do have a good day!

I don't think the 10pm curfew for men was ever a serious suggestion. As far as I'm aware, it was suggested to highlight the fact that women live under an official curfew every day.

I believe so. And I understand that these abhorrent crimes do happen out there

If people truly believe that posters like myself simply want male violence to continue, that's (bizarre) but fine.

Our point was only ever that painting men as demons waiting in shadows and not looking at the causes and the fact they are living in our homes doesn't help anyone.

What makes you think I’m a lady?

Oh whatever pumper. Ever the one sentence questioner. I'm going to work now, I'll expect you to have researched all of my posts and asked that same question 14 times when I return.

only you could read a whole post and pick that out.

And you have the nerve to imply I'm the wind up!

Honestly, it was really dissapointing to see this much excusing to male violence.
And really sad to see how few care about girls and women.

Denial will not get us anywhere, other than more male violence.

Suprised parenting site doesn’t want a better world….

No answer, which is what expected. Have a blessed day.

Sorry to derail but can people stop quoting when responding please?

It's making it impossible to follow any discussion at all. Thanks!

I stand by my view on boys will be boys. I've never heard it used.

It gets used a lot. This exact phrase might not be used but the sentiment is the same. I do a lot of research into how we are socialised according to our sex - not necessarily in relation to violent behaviour but that's always on the periphery. There is a huge amount of evidence that shows how boys and girls are socialised differently from birth and a huge part of that is the language we use to describe particular behaviours. This carries on into adulthood and impacts our education choices and careers ( my specific area of research)

I've also personally witnessed people saying 'Boys will be boys' to me as I have a boy! Any boisterous behaviour is passed off as being a 'typical boy'. I've witnessed teachers treating boys differently, I've heard parents excuse their sons behaviour as 'boys will be boys'. It was so common that I bought my son a 'Boys will be boys t' shirt from The Man who has it all website just to make a point!!

IMO I thought the curfew comment was hilarious and took the joke as intended.

IMO I thought the curfew comment was hilarious and took the joke as intended.
Exactly. It was used to highlight the unofficial curfew women have to live with every day!
The outrage was particularly amusing.

I've heard parents excuse their sons behaviour as 'boys will be boys

Most definitely. One of our friends has a son and daughter. I've openly heard her say that she was actually happy he was out there getting his oats but she's locked up away from men. Unbelievable for 2022.

But then she defriended someone from her social circle, who was proud of her son for avoiding child support, when he got a woman pregnant on a one night stand.

There are a lot of enablers out there.

Was waiting for this. I didn't mention rape did I?? I mentioned abusive partners. Startling ignorance indeed!

Yes, because avoiding sexual assaults/ harrasment will
conveniently ignore all the female victims, 97% of women.
And men being pretty much always the perpetrator