Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Is this racist?

582 replies

ToastedWaffle · 03/05/2022 21:51

Okay.... so my ex was over at my house tonight to see our kids (he often does this).

Eldest DC was brushing their teeth whilst the same time trying to ask my ex a question.

Because you couldn't make out the words DC was saying with the toothbrush in their mouth, ex then proceeds to imitate the 'sound' saying something like "wah sah wah ha insert random sound here Are you Chinese or something?"

I've just had my arse handed to me by my ex for pointing out it was casually racist and could he not say things like that.

He has kicked up a massive stink which involved shouting, swearing, in which I asked him to leave. Still, the kids overheard him as he was being deliberately loud in shouting at me.

I'm sat here confused as hell.

OP posts:
TalkingCat · 04/05/2022 10:26

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 10:22

And pleasedo tell me what I said that you believe was racist?

Only a racist defends racism. Only a racist would attack other posters and accuse them of 'virtue signaling'. It takes a racist to defend racist behaviour. Which is exactly what you're doing.

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/05/2022 10:26

Yes, it’s racist.

LightningAndRainbows · 04/05/2022 10:26

Labscollie · 04/05/2022 10:25

I wonder what people's stance is when the upper class English accent is mocked. Is that 'casual' racism?

It's nasty for sure

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:28

I wonder what people's stance is when the upper class English accent is mocked. Is that 'casual' racism? '

I didn't think it was racist because the upper class haven't been oppressed & have privilege?

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 10:29

Exactly, a belief isn't a fact. What I stated wasn't a belief. It was a fact
😅😅 I think I'll leave it hear!

Indicatrice · 04/05/2022 10:30

@Labscollie

If you see it as racist, why are you on here for validation of your judgement?

In other words: "If you see racism, just shut up and put up with it, so that my white fragility isn't affected.'

TalkingCat · 04/05/2022 10:30

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 10:29

Exactly, a belief isn't a fact. What I stated wasn't a belief. It was a fact
😅😅 I think I'll leave it hear!

Yes, that's a good idea. Put down the shovel.

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 10:30

Only a racist defends racism. Only a racist would attack other posters and accuse them of 'virtue signaling'. It takes a racist to defend racist behaviour. Which is exactly what you're doing
Peoeloke tou xalling me a racist as rely no impact on me at all. You discredit yourself by your arrogance.

Labscollie · 04/05/2022 10:32

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:28

I wonder what people's stance is when the upper class English accent is mocked. Is that 'casual' racism? '

I didn't think it was racist because the upper class haven't been oppressed & have privilege?

Oh please...

TalkingCat · 04/05/2022 10:33

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 10:30

Only a racist defends racism. Only a racist would attack other posters and accuse them of 'virtue signaling'. It takes a racist to defend racist behaviour. Which is exactly what you're doing
Peoeloke tou xalling me a racist as rely no impact on me at all. You discredit yourself by your arrogance.

You are the one who is arrogant and obstinate in your ignorance. Your typing is getting worse, just put down the shovel. I think you've embarrassed yourself enough now.

Labscollie · 04/05/2022 10:34

There are many facets to racism, much to do with characteristics. All races possess their respective characteristics. To discredit one form of racism, lends no credibility to the debate per se.

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:37

I'm not discrediting anything, that was my understanding of racism.

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:38

All races possess their respective characteristics.

you referenced class though

Labscollie · 04/05/2022 10:39

Indicatrice · 04/05/2022 10:30

@Labscollie

If you see it as racist, why are you on here for validation of your judgement?

In other words: "If you see racism, just shut up and put up with it, so that my white fragility isn't affected.'

White fragility, a racist term. The irony. Along with white privilege. Derogatory terms ascribed to being white. Most notably used by fellow white people. Very strange. No matter how much some would love the contrary, white is a protected characteristics. Amazing how it's kicked about, with scant regard.

Lunar27 · 04/05/2022 10:39

I take my definition of racism/prejudice/discrimination from legislation. The 2010 doesn't exclude white people from the protected race category.

Noone is being excluded and acknowledging differences in power balance doesn't affect the legislation you're referencing.

Labscollie · 04/05/2022 10:39

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:38

All races possess their respective characteristics.

you referenced class though

Could class be inherent within a race?

Rinatinabina · 04/05/2022 10:40

I think its racist, I despise phrases like “gammon” and “karen” as well (I’m not white).

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:41

The point is class isn't a protected characteristic like race is.

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:42

I think its racist, I despise phrases like “gammon” and “karen” as well (I’m not white).

I certainly think they are offensive, prejudiced & in the case of Karen misogynistic.

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:43

I'm just not sure you can argue mimicking a posh person is the same as mimicking a Chinese person 🤷🏻‍♀️

BrightonBunny · 04/05/2022 10:44

It's not your responsibility to provide access to your home for ex when he sees the DC.

He obviously cannot behave himself so this arrangement has to stop immediately. It's not in the best interests of the DC if they witness this kind of shit.

Labscollie · 04/05/2022 10:44

Lunar27 · 04/05/2022 10:39

I take my definition of racism/prejudice/discrimination from legislation. The 2010 doesn't exclude white people from the protected race category.

Noone is being excluded and acknowledging differences in power balance doesn't affect the legislation you're referencing.

Sorry, I don't understand your post. As I suggested, there are different facets to racism, prejudice and discrimination being one. Surely the OP is arriving at racism, through the mocking of a protected characteristic..that of a Chinese person? The mocking of a white person, through channels of fragility and privilege somehow are not deemed as racist. Pick and choose racism, otherwise known as 'casual' racism.

Labscollie · 04/05/2022 10:45

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:43

I'm just not sure you can argue mimicking a posh person is the same as mimicking a Chinese person 🤷🏻‍♀️

I believe it's still prejudiced. One is showing their irreverence.

creekycr · 04/05/2022 10:48

I believe it's still prejudiced

I would agree with you but I don't believe it's racist.

NippyWoowoo · 04/05/2022 10:50

Indicatrice · 04/05/2022 10:30

@Labscollie

If you see it as racist, why are you on here for validation of your judgement?

In other words: "If you see racism, just shut up and put up with it, so that my white fragility isn't affected.'

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽