Is this racist?

[ToastedWaffle]

Okay.... so my ex was over at my house tonight to see our kids (he often does this).

Eldest DC was brushing their teeth whilst the same time trying to ask my ex a question.

Because you couldn't make out the words DC was saying with the toothbrush in their mouth, ex then proceeds to imitate the 'sound' saying something like "wah sah wah ha insert random sound here Are you Chinese or something?"

I've just had my arse handed to me by my ex for pointing out it was casually racist and could he not say things like that.

He has kicked up a massive stink which involved shouting, swearing, in which I asked him to leave. Still, the kids overheard him as he was being deliberately loud in shouting at me.

I'm sat here confused as hell.

You don't believe the following is factual rather than theory?

White privilege = when all else is equal, a privilege exists when one is white.

Now this doesn't mean white people are all 'privileged'.

The elderly woman is white and therefore whatever other problems she's faced, she hasn't had to deal with racism on top of them. That's all the phrase means fundamentally. It doesn't mean there are no disadvantaged white people or white people have an easy life.

If two people are homeless but one is non white then they will over the course of their life faced particular experiences a white person won't have, due to racism.

That is not to say that white person hasn't had a hard life but the specific experience of not having to experience racism / race related issues IS white privilege.

I'm adopted. Was a foster kid. So definitely not 'privileged'. But I absolutely had 'white privilege' because I am white, in that I didn't have to face the additional challenges of being non white eg in the UK white children are more likely to be adopted while children who aren't white are more likely to remain in care.

This.

When I hear this kind of response (from people like @mustlovegin ) I tend to think back to black slaves that were known as 'house ####'. They most definitely had it better than poor white people living in slums! didn't they?

Oh wait.

youvegottenminuteslynn

That is not to say that white person hasn't had a hard life but the specific experience of not having to experience racism / race related issues IS white privilege

How can you give such a convoluted pseudo lecture to a poster who has said that her family member has been attacked and had a brain haemorrhage for being white?

Please listen to yourselves, it's shocking!

I would have found this racist too, OP and would have said something. Thank goodness he is your ex. When I voted, I couldn't believe a third of people voting think it isn't! It's shocking.

Perhaps you can find my post where I have used the line " Brown people do bad things to " you claim you have quoted like that or just admit you are using a strawman argument and a liar as I would never use such a term.

As for your last point of you giving me countless egs of asian people being attacked, I can give you countless egs of white people being attacked so what's your point? Are you implying white people are more violent / criminal than asian people? Have you got prison stats per capita to back up that stance or just more made up rubbish?

I think it’s a bit of an overreaction to something fairly trivial. Would have handled it differently tbh

That's just your opinion. I don't agree.

In this case I see a grey area. You don't but that doesn't make you right.

Even with an attempt at a smart arse response.

You knew it was racist before you posted. What's your AIBU?

A convoluted pseudo lecture?

I explained a concept and gave some examples.

I hardly dressed it up as a Ted Talk mate.

Nobody should ever be bullied, assaulted, abused or victimised. Ever.

My point is, the concept of white privilege doesn't claim those things don't happen to white people. It doesn't claim that when they do happen to white people, it matters less than if it happens to non white people. It simply describes the fact (and it is a fact) that white people don't ALSO have to deal with specific issues faced by non white people on top of whatever else happens to them.

Ah ok, so calling people conceited and self-centred is great debating? OK
Yes, people in general, not you specifically, not anyone here specifically.

And no, my posts were nowhere as condescending as yours and Talkingcat.

Some people think it was racist and that's fine. Others have a different perception and don't think a comment like that is racist and that's fine too. We are all entitled to our own perception and viewpoint and just because some of us don't think that this scenario reaches the threshold to be considered "racist" does not mean those people themselves are racist.

White privilege = when all else is equal, a privilege exists when one is white

Would you say there's still 'white privilege' in 2022 when positive discrimination is rife in so many industries? (e.g. advertising, films, TV, government organisations, etc). Both in relation to hiring and also general attitudes.

Each country has derogatory stereotypes about the other. If there have been times ‘we’ have looked down on the French, there have also been periods that we have looked up to them. Speaking French has traditionally been viewed as a sign of being well educated, and French literature, fashion and food are esteemed
Oh I see. So if the Chinese have derogatory terms against the Bruts which might very well do then its OK to use derogatory terms about them too!

Because the French and British have 'history it makes it OK? If the French are viewed as well educated, why use that expression in the first place.

The reason why most French are not offended is because their culture is much less sensitive than ours. They can make fun of themselves without shouting 'discrimination'. Nit because uts any less offensive in its nearing.

Personally, I'd rather be insulted by imting I'm funny rather than vulgar.

@Fieldsofdaffodils
Yes, it was were you said “presumably you would agree this was also racist and vile?” Otherwise what was the point of raising that example?

Not even going to respond to the rest of your post. You accused me of attributing something to you that you didn’t say, then have gone on to attribute lots of things I didn’t say to me. That’s hypocritical, and I have absolutely no interest in getting involved in that kind of ridiculous “argument” so no need to keep @ ing me.

Er, yes, your posts were far more condescending than mine. At least don't lie. Even if you still choose to humiliate yourself on here.

Yes, I would absolutely say it still exists systemically in society as whole. 100%.

Because again, it doesn't mean white people don't ever face disadvantages.

I don't know how much more clearly I can explain the concept to you...

In future it's probably best not to ascribe offensive terminology in quotes to a poster who hasn't actually said it in the failed attempt to discredit them on a public forum. It's poor form and disingenuous.

There is nothing ridiculous in asking you to produce crime statistics backing up your claims or implied ones- you're just ranting. Racism is deplorable but exists on both sides of the racial divide yet frequently it only gets called out when it is one way

Yes. Absolutely.

In future it's probably best not to ascribe offensive terminology in quotes to a poster who hasn't actually said it in the failed attempt to discredit them on a public forum. It's poor form and disingenuous.

There is nothing ridiculous in asking you to produce crime statistics backing up your claims or implied ones- you're just ranting. Racism is deplorable but exists on both sides of the racial divide yet frequently it only gets called out when it is one way

sorry double post

@mustlovegin

Would you say that male privilege doesn't exist just because some companies choose to use positive discrimination or seek out female candidates in order to have a diverse and representative board / employees?

The gender pay gap still exists but some men are paid less than women. Male privilege still exists systemically in society.

Women are still more likely to suffer sexual violence than men but some men are sexually assaulted. Male privilege still exists systemically in society.

Recognising male privilege doesn't mean all men have an easy life, are better off than all women and never have any struggles. The same is true of recognising white privilege.

The use of ONE phrase, which comes from a time when the French were the enemy, had not resulted in their wholesale downfall. Unlike the behaviour towards black, Asian, south East
This really shows the unconscious bias that goes with discrimination. You are using history to justify it, talking about wholesale downfall. That's a typical British perception of it.

Most French will have no idea where this saying comes from, whether it's 400 years old or not. Most French people will certainly not associated it with the economy. Why should they. They will interpret it that they are seen as coming from a vulgar culture.

And yes, the French Most like have their ways to make fun of the Brits. I expect all nations do, all have their own stereotypes of other nations.

Either we accept it all together as part of life, culture etc...or we all practice what we preach without excuses. You don't pick and choose what is racist, offensive and decide that the e pressiontou use are mot when others might very much think that are.

There's nothing offensive about saying brown people do bad things too

And you did just actually point out the obvious truth that brown people do bad things too

Ok @Fieldsofdaffodils But I didn’t directly quote your words. That’s very clear to anyone who read your posts. Did you perhaps think the quotation marks meant I was directly quoting your words (that didn’t exist) rather than paraphrasing? I do apologise though for the quotation marks if it wasn’t clear. Can you explain though why you raised that example if it wasn’t to show that brown people do bad things too?

And if we’re going for accuracy here, can you please find exactly where I referenced “white people” in either of my posts and then give me an apology for your previous rant?

I think the term " brown people " is what I have issue with as it is a silly phrase I haven't used.... so much for @BewareTheLibrarians not replying.

@BewareTheLibrarians you mention you can give numerous egs of asians being attacked by white people, what's your point other than implying the white race is more violent? Have you actually studied uk crime statistics or just under the misguided impression white people are vile characters purely targeting that 1 racial demographic? I don't really care what race anyone is, but you seem to be under the impression racial hatred is only one way- educate yourself and you may be in for a shock when looking at crime statistics in all areas per capita of the population.