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Original poster

Is this racist?

582 replies

ToastedWaffle · 03/05/2022 21:51

Okay.... so my ex was over at my house tonight to see our kids (he often does this).

Eldest DC was brushing their teeth whilst the same time trying to ask my ex a question.

Because you couldn't make out the words DC was saying with the toothbrush in their mouth, ex then proceeds to imitate the 'sound' saying something like "wah sah wah ha insert random sound here Are you Chinese or something?"

I've just had my arse handed to me by my ex for pointing out it was casually racist and could he not say things like that.

He has kicked up a massive stink which involved shouting, swearing, in which I asked him to leave. Still, the kids overheard him as he was being deliberately loud in shouting at me.

I'm sat here confused as hell.

OP posts:
OneTC · 04/05/2022 11:32

Do you even understand what 'excuse my French'. It means that French cursing, however bad is standard in the French language and normally used by the French .

Putain! C'est pas vrai

noborisno · 04/05/2022 11:34

Similar sounds to the Mandarin language. Pointed out by someone, little laugh had.

Anyone upset by that needs to grow up.

Discovereads · 04/05/2022 11:35

Butteryflakycrust83 · 04/05/2022 11:05

Just a reminder to white women in particular, you do NOT get to say if this was racist or not. There have already been posters here who are Asian who have said it is.

Their word trumps yours.

You’re forgetting the Chinese poster who said it was not.

TheOldRazzleDazzle · 04/05/2022 11:36

@vivainsomnia - one taps into a long-standing cruel stereotype of funny-looking, funny-sounding people that has been used to dehumanise and other. The others do not.

Any characteristic could be used to bully or upset - someone could laugh at my taste in music or poke fun at how I look, for example, and depending on the circumstances this could be very upsetting - but not all characteristics link back to systematic oppression and prejudice on the societal level.

@Katya213 - if you’re talking about white people, I am one. I expect this makes me a virtue signaller.

mustlovegin · 04/05/2022 11:39

You need it explaining why mocking a chinese accent is different to saying 'excuse my french'?

Would you care to explain it Buttery?

lborgia · 04/05/2022 11:39

"Excuse my French" goes back to a time when all things French were considered vulgar, hence the upper class obsession with not saying toilet (toilette), serviette, pardon.

The point of it, and the way in which it is derogatory, is so diluted it no longer has any meaning at all.

Whereas making "funny noises" and saying someone sounds Chinese when they've got their mouth full, because they don't sound right, is not pleasant. And not in the same ballpark.

Who ARE you people? No wonder racism shows no signs of abating. Ffs.

mustlovegin · 04/05/2022 11:40

is so diluted it no longer has any meaning at all

How do you know there are no French people offended by this?

Discovereads · 04/05/2022 11:47

There’s no reason for some posters to get so angry about there being divided opinion on this. The Chinese and Chinese heritage posters themselves were divided in opinion on whether this was racist or not and their opinions carry the most weight in a discussion like this.

There is no need for the name calling either. Having the opinion it wasn’t racist doesn’t make you a racist or racism apologist anymore than having an opinion that a comment wasn’t homophobic make you a homophobe.

Indicatrice · 04/05/2022 11:49

Hallyup89 · 04/05/2022 11:14

No, it's not racist. Don't get so wound up about it. It's people who make an issue out of every little thing that are the biggest issue.

Yes, black people being murdered by police in the US, Muslims and Jews being assaulted by far right in UK, Asian people being assaulted and blamed for Covid in the US is all nothing to get wound up about, the biggest issue is people calling out racism when they should just laugh it off, and if they can't laugh it off, they should at least just shut up about it.

mustlovegin · 04/05/2022 11:50

Having the opinion it wasn’t racist doesn’t make you a racist or racism apologist anymore than having an opinion that a comment wasn’t homophobic make you a homophobe

Unfortunately that's how their heads work and they want to impose those irrational views on others

OneTC · 04/05/2022 11:50

A Chinese posters didn't say it wasn't racist. They said they wouldn't find it offensive. Another poster said it was racist but it also wouldn't bother them much

It's clearly racist.

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 11:52

Its racism, and racist people tying themselves in knows with whataboutery to convince you otherwise
So I guess you can also be racist against you own race if a chinese person can say they didn't find this offensive. Maybe you are racist too without realising!

one taps into a long-standing cruel stereotype of funny-looking, funny-sounding people that has been used to dehumanise and other. The others do not
Yiu can't even see that it is exactly what a French person could say about the saying!

'Excuse my French'. Long standing? Yes
Stereotyping of funny sounding? Yes , stereotype of vulgarity.
Used to dehumanise others? Yes, implying the French a vulgar. Pretty dehumanising!

The point of it, and the way in which it is derogatory, is so diluted it no longer has any meaning at all
To you it doesn't. It has plenty of meaning to the French in this country who hear it all the time.

Racism is NOT about what you decide is ok or not from your own perspective based on your experiences and culture. It is about how it is perceived by those affected.

If you use the expression whilst speaking to a French person, and they told you they found it derogatory, would you tell them to get over themselves because it is now deluted and doesn't mean anything!

Some people are incredibly conceded and self-centred. When they then speak about facts, it is really worrying!

Indicatrice · 04/05/2022 11:52

Discovereads · 04/05/2022 11:47

There’s no reason for some posters to get so angry about there being divided opinion on this. The Chinese and Chinese heritage posters themselves were divided in opinion on whether this was racist or not and their opinions carry the most weight in a discussion like this.

There is no need for the name calling either. Having the opinion it wasn’t racist doesn’t make you a racist or racism apologist anymore than having an opinion that a comment wasn’t homophobic make you a homophobe.

There's no reason for you to get het up just because your deliberate misunderstand of the OP's post and goading hasn't worked.

Lunar27 · 04/05/2022 11:53

Discovereads · 04/05/2022 11:35

You’re forgetting the Chinese poster who said it was not.

Show quote history

Yes, because one person gets to decide for all east Asians 😂. I'll have to raise it at the committee meeting next week.

Some amazing logic there.

ApplesAndChalk · 04/05/2022 11:55

Shockingly, Chinese people also have diverse experiences and opinions about things... who would have thought?

Indicatrice · 04/05/2022 11:57

@vivainsomnia

So I guess you can also be racist against you own race if a chinese person can say they didn't find this offensive. Maybe you are racist too without realising!

You really need to read up on a subject you have little understanding of.

Is it really news to you that many BAME people downplay their experiences of racism to try and fit in?

Get some more friends and learn a bit.

Yellownightmare · 04/05/2022 11:58

lborgia · 04/05/2022 11:39

"Excuse my French" goes back to a time when all things French were considered vulgar, hence the upper class obsession with not saying toilet (toilette), serviette, pardon.

The point of it, and the way in which it is derogatory, is so diluted it no longer has any meaning at all.

Whereas making "funny noises" and saying someone sounds Chinese when they've got their mouth full, because they don't sound right, is not pleasant. And not in the same ballpark.

Who ARE you people? No wonder racism shows no signs of abating. Ffs.

That's interesting. I always wondered about why those words are considered non-U.

Yes fascinating why some people are SO invested in things not being called out as racist. Mind you there are always a similar group of people falling over themselves to say something is not misogynistic and why we should be cool about it. Really weird.

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 12:02

@Indicatrice, I don't take any notice of anyone who can't discuss matters by using patronising and condescending tones.

I'm happy with my education. It might not suit your vision but that's OK, we all have different education. What matters is to be ae to discuss, debate without feeling tou need to belittle others to get your point across.

Indicatrice · 04/05/2022 12:05

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 12:02

@Indicatrice, I don't take any notice of anyone who can't discuss matters by using patronising and condescending tones.

I'm happy with my education. It might not suit your vision but that's OK, we all have different education. What matters is to be ae to discuss, debate without feeling tou need to belittle others to get your point across.

Ah ok, so calling people conceited and self-centred is great debating? OK.

I really did need to call out the ignorance in your posts, because it hurts people of colour, like me.

TheOldRazzleDazzle · 04/05/2022 12:05

ApplesAndChalk · 04/05/2022 11:55

Shockingly, Chinese people also have diverse experiences and opinions about things... who would have thought?

Pretty much everyone, I’d have thought.

This isn’t a gotcha to those saying this is racist.

Copperpottle · 04/05/2022 12:06

It's racist. Funny how they ask crawl out of the woodwork on threads like this.

Violent, aggressive, shouting men should not be allowed near children. If they want to act like animals they can do it far away from the home.

Indicatrice · 04/05/2022 12:07

@Copperpottle and it's usually the same posters.

TalkingCat · 04/05/2022 12:09

vivainsomnia · 04/05/2022 12:02

@Indicatrice, I don't take any notice of anyone who can't discuss matters by using patronising and condescending tones.

I'm happy with my education. It might not suit your vision but that's OK, we all have different education. What matters is to be ae to discuss, debate without feeling tou need to belittle others to get your point across.

Oh the irony.

Telling people "time to lighten up"

"virtue signaling" (which basically means just being a decent person)

"conceded" [sic] (conceited?)

So, you were saying about patronising and condescending tones ? I think you should look in the mirror for patronising and condescending. In fact, it was your patronising, condescending and nasty tone that made me originally reply to you.

Seriously, do what you said you would do and put down that shovel.

mustlovegin · 04/05/2022 12:17

You really need to read up on a subject you have little understanding of

So you are saying that those from that ethnic background who don't find it racist should be disregarded? Their opinions are not important and they don't know their own minds? Should they be re-educated too? Wow!

TheOldRazzleDazzle · 04/05/2022 12:32

one taps into a long-standing cruel stereotype of funny-looking, funny-sounding people that has been used to dehumanise and other. The others do not
Yiu can't even see that it is exactly what a French person could say about the saying!

I’d be genuinely surprised if there was any significant body of French people who really felt that ‘pardon my French’ was dehumanising or suggested that their language was gobbledygook. Because the history of the UK and France shows each to be fairly evenly matched - wars over each other’s territories, interconnected nobility, similar cultures, both former colonial powers. Each country has derogatory stereotypes about the other. If there have been times ‘we’ have looked down on the French, there have also been periods that we have looked up to them. Speaking French has traditionally been viewed as a sign of being well educated, and French literature, fashion and food are esteemed.

Contrast with the far more oppressive relationship between white Europeans and North American’s and Chinese and other Asian groups. Orientalism. The Opium Wars. The treatment of Chinese labourers. And the stereotype built on all this - laughing about how East Asian people look, speak, eat, even think.

Yes, an individual French person could be upset by a comment they perceived to be anti-French. And I’m sure there will be some awful cases of individuals being bullied and discriminated against for being French. But this goes to my point about the fact any characteristic could be used for those purposes. Not all tie back to wide scale oppression across society though.