AIBU to just feel like crying?

[Tryingnottocry22]

I was really looking forward to spending the day today with my BF and DD. We decided to go down to the beach. I suggested we get an ice cream and my DD could play on the beach.

So we planned to meet at 1pm. W were running a bit late and I let him know then messaged when we were leaving. The place we were meeting took equal time to travel to for both of us. My DD and I were waiting there. We were getting very hot as there wasn't any shade. We waited 20 min and then phoned to say he was so sorry the time on his Xbox wasn't working and he thought it was earlier. He said he was heading off but ended up walking the wrong way so we had to wait another 30min rather than 10 min! Not a good start. But once he arrived we began walking to the ice cream parlour. He then said he wanted to get a meal. So I said we could go to one of the nearby cafes. It was a bit annoying as I thought it was going to be a cheap day and the cafes are quite expensive but decided to make the best of it. So we went in a cafe and ordered some food. We came on to discussing why he was late. I couldn't understand why he didn't just leave when I said I was so we would be there at the same time. But he got exasperated with me keeping on reiterating the time on his Xbox was wrong.

Anyway, we changed the subject and had a pleasant chat. After our meal we went over to the beach, got DD an ice cream and were about to go on the sand. BF said he needed to buy cigarettes. There is no where on the seafront to buy cigarettes! So I suggested we walk further up the beach nearer the high st so we could go on the beach and he could go and get cigarettes. We finally got there and he decided actually he didn't want cigarettes. I snapped at him about this and he accused me of wanting to have a cigarette and that's why I was annoyed (I sometimes have the odd cigarette around him but generally don't smoke). Some cross words ensued and he stormed off. DD was a bit worried about what had happened, understandably and I'd had enough so after a short while we decided to go home. We waited for the lift to the top of the cliffs. When we were in the lift I could see him frantically running up the steps and we both arrived at the top at the same time. He was close to tears, said he'd come back looking for us. He apologised profusely.

By this point I just felt like crying. I feel like he is always so defensive. Like I was trying to figure out what happened with him being late, but I feel he is so ready to fight back he doesn't really listen to what I'm asking. Or like with the cigarettes he turns it round onto me. I just wanted my DD to have a nice day on the beach. I've apologised to her (as has BF) and BF got her some sweets on the way home so she was happy. We just don't seem to be able to communicate. Can things improve or is it best to just break up. I love him very much and he has a very kind heart. He had a bad childhood so I think never learnt healthy ways to communicate. I just feel so sad about it.

Oh well, I don't know. My Alexa always kind of 'freezes' when the WiFi goes off. I just thought these devices use WiFi to know the time so that was why the time 'freezes' when the WiFi goes off.

But it's obviously not just my devices that do it as his Xbox did too! 😄

The xbox clock excuse is likely rubbish as they automatically sync when connected to Wi-Fi, as for the fags, that was all him wanting them so why he change his mind wasting time and effort ?

The xbox clock excuse is likely rubbish as they automatically sync when connected to Wi-Fi

100%

Xbox doesn't lose time when it's not connected to the Internet. You have to go into settings to change the time on it. Just like any other type of device.

I'm calling bullshit on that. I know it doesn't matter now but honestly, he was lying.

I've been driven to research this now! It seems a slow connection can cause problems with syncing with the internet.

But what about when not connected to the WiFi?

But it absolutely doesn't make any difference to the clock. I'm sorry but it doesn't.

So do you think I'm lying too? My Alexa does this all the time. And had it on my tablet a few times when the internet was off. It wasn't something I'd discussed with him. And looking on the internet other people experience it too. So I honestly don't think he is lying! I mean why would he? He isn't usually late so just saying I lost track of time would be perfectly reasonable.

But this was what Xbox have said. That it can cause problems with the clock. It has happened to lots of other people! Maybe they are all lying, along with myself and Xbox themselves?

Losing track of time is one thing, making up a bullshit excuse is something else.

I switch my Internet off all night so the kids aren't on their phones, that's 8 hours off, then when I put it back on in the morning the Xbox hasn't lost time or anything! That's just a fact.

And how could be receive your messages on his Xbox if his WiFi was so bad it had messed up the time on it? Come on. He's fed you an excuse and you've bought it.

Definitely this. Seriously, how old are you both?

The thing is, you said you spoke to him to say you'd set off. You got there and if he'd set off you would arrive at the same time. You waited 20 minutes upon which you spoke to him again and he says the clock was wrong. Even if it was wrong surely he knows the difference between a few minutes and 20? You're clearly letting it go because you've convinced yourself 'all' devices change times when wifi goes off, he was nearly crying and he bought your daughter sweets.

You've misunderstood! Of course when you turn the WiFi back on it hasn't lost time because when you connect it syncs all ok. That's not what we are talking about atall! I thought you were knowledgeable about this and that was why you kept going on about it. But you actually don't understand atall! Let's draw a line under this. I'll trust that Xbox know a bit more about how it works than you. I appreciate you were trying to be helpful, but you really weren't.

Storm in a tea cup 🤨

Haha didn't read the thread did you? Like many of his medic friends yes, he plays Xbox, has no watch and smokes. He didn't have a phone for one day and he has plenty of money. Ages have also been given.

Clock keeps resetting
Another clock resetting
More clocks resetting
And another
One more just in case people still don't believe it happens

If the Xbox internal battery dies, the console won't remember the date and time when it's not plugged in to a power source. Then, when it is switched on again, it needs an internet connection so it can sync with the network.

I have experience of devices showing the wrong time. I have now looked in to it and Xbox say it can be an issue to do with slow connection. I'm not going to waste anymore of my time on that subject.

My point as you say is he could have left when I did. He clearly lost track of time faffing about (he does this) and on top of this got thrown by the wrong time on the clock.

He doesn't lie about things. This would be so out of character. I'm happy he didn't lie. You're not? Fine, but let's draw a line under it now.

What has him nearly crying and buying my DD sweets got to do with it?

BadNomad however, even a doctor with no common sense can half guess the difference between setting off almost immediately as he was going to and 20 minutes later, regardless of glitches and dodgy devices.

I'm not arguing that. I just find it ridiculous that people are making such a big deal out of the Xbox and how everything related to it is a lie.

But don't underestimate doctors. I've worked with many. They're book smart, but some couldn't find their own arse with both hands and a map.

OP I really don't care whether he lied or not, or whether you believed him or not. If you go back and read your original post, you were very unhappy about the day. Now it seems to have been lost in you defending him because you don't like anyone else suggesting he's not actually marvellous.
From your OP it doesn't seem that it's just an isolated problem but if you're happy with that's great.

Hi OP,

Sounds like you just got a bit annoyed with how things panned out today and sounds like a perfect storm with an accumulation of things that went wrong.

He came after you which shows he cares. I would just take it as a bad day and not dwell too much.

Also take the advice on here with a pinch of salt. So many people are so quick to say LTB without thinking of the sequela in real life.

You sound sweet and i think a nice walk with an ice cream sounds fine for DD- ignore the hate.

But that wasn't the point. I was told continuously that he was lying about the clock on the Xbox.

Look, I don't know all the ins and outs of this as it was not that big a deal to me. He isn't usually late - it was a one off. But I was getting a taxi, told him when I called taxi that we'd be leaving imminently. Maybe he thought oh I've just got time to do x, lost track of time, checked on Xbox, thought it was ok, Xbox syncs and he realises he is late so phones me....we all make mistakes, I don't expect him to be perfect. This is not my issue with him! It was his thoughtless behaviour and arguing/storming off when we were out.

@BadNomad

They're book smart, but some couldn't find their own arse with both hands and a map.

Love this 😂 definitely true. I am also not sure about our grasp of time 😬

Yes about the day. Not about the being late on it's own. I explained that bit for context I got hot and bothered waiting and when I spoke to him about it we were talking at cross purposes. Just like now, I think! The only thing I've been going round and round about is about bloody Xbox! I've explained where he was not 'marvelous' but I'm not going to say oh yes as it has been repeated over and over yes, actually he did lie to me, he's a loser Xbox player. I'm still unhappy about the bits I was unhappy about yesterday. But I'm also not going to start telling myself a story about all these extra terrible things just because it follows the story of some folks on MN!

My point as you say is he could have left when I did. He clearly lost track of time faffing about (he does this) and on top of this got thrown by the wrong time on the clock.

Here you say 'he does this' but your next post you say

Look, I don't know all the ins and outs of this as it was not that big a deal to me. He isn't usually late - it was a one off.

So which is it? And in your initial post it seemed to bother you a lot and now it doesn't!