Page 9 | Comment after oral sex (this may be TMI for some ppl)

Limebazil · 2022-04-30T15:06:35+00:00

I am seeing a guy the last few weeks we are both early 30s. He seems like a nice guy, and things were going great. Last night we slept together for the first time, it was great he was very generous in bed but after he had gone down on me he said "I think you should drink more water you taste kind of strong". This was really hurtful to me, I'm sure he didn't mean it to be hurtful and maybe I'm overly sensitive but why would you say that when it is widely known that women/ girls are paranoid about how they look/ smell/ taste down there. He's not a gynaecologist so the health advice was not appreciated. He could see he had upset me and tried to back track saying "he didn't mean it like that" and "I'm crazy about you the last thing I want to do is offend you I was just trying to help" but now I'm just seeing it as a red flag. AIBU?

Terriblecreature · 30/04/2022 19:00

I can understand both sides. Embarrassing for you and can't imagine comfortable for him either. If u really like this guy, then I would try move past it. I would b open with him and tell him u were embarrassed and the comment left a sour taste in Ur mouth (sorry for the pun) u could try urself to rectify the issue, drinking more water or a check up at the docs. These things happen to us all remember and I think being so open early on is actually a good thing

RhymesWithBouquet · 30/04/2022 19:01

No YANBU. Making a comment like that after the very first time is a massive red flag.

Maybe, just maybe you did smell a bit strong but it’s not for him to make you feel weird about yourself when it could just be a matter of whatever you had to eat that day! It’s sex, not TripAdvisor FFS!

And even if it was, my dude, if you don’t like the food in this restaurant then thanks for coming😆 but you don’t need to eat here again…

netflixfan · 30/04/2022 19:01

That is a very hurtful comment, designed to make you feel bad. What a pig. Avoid him.

VladmirsPoutine · 30/04/2022 19:02

I find it astonishing that people can have sex with someone - one of the most if not the most intimate act then thereafter fall to pieces because of honesty then try to re-write it using sociological concepts such as 'gas-lighting' and 'negging' just to try to save some semblance of their bruised ego.

Nobody is going to force the OP to have sex with that man again. But is everyone supposed to just shut up and put up. What if it was the other way round and his dick was crusted all around the tip. Would the OP be expected to continuously give him oral sex for fear of offending him the first time they'd have sex

TheNestedIf · 30/04/2022 19:02

Ha. Thought so. That latest text pretty much proves it, the gaslighting prick. It's a classic tactic designed to damage your confidence. It's to embarrass you out of requesting oral sex or whatever it is specifically for your pleasure, and into chasing his approval and doing what he wants.

Glad you've seen through him and realised he's not good enough for you.

Original poster

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 19:07

VladmirsPoutine · 30/04/2022 19:02

I find it astonishing that people can have sex with someone - one of the most if not the most intimate act then thereafter fall to pieces because of honesty then try to re-write it using sociological concepts such as 'gas-lighting' and 'negging' just to try to save some semblance of their bruised ego.

Nobody is going to force the OP to have sex with that man again. But is everyone supposed to just shut up and put up. What if it was the other way round and his dick was crusted all around the tip. Would the OP be expected to continuously give him oral sex for fear of offending him the first time they'd have sex

Where have I done that?
He commented negatively on my body and gave unsolicited medical advice to me the first time we had sex, I didn't appreciate it so I ended the relationship.

First he said he didn't mean it, then said I overreacted, then denied saying it all..... seems pretty gaslighty to me.

OP posts:

ParisNoir · 30/04/2022 19:09

Agree with PP that he is a pig and is doing this to bring you down, neg you and yeah, make you insecure so that you'll think he's a catch and he'll have the power.

The reason he cant be genuine is: He's tasting HIMSELF if you just had sex earlier. So, unless you scrubbed yourself with hibiscrub , his fluids will still be down there so part of your taste includes his OWN body fluid. So, either he's thick as a plank and doesnt have enough brain cells to realise that or he's negging.

Well rid of him.

RhubarbFairy · 30/04/2022 19:11

'It's sex, not TripAdvisor'.

🌟

Original poster

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 19:16

And for the record after I blocked him on insta, whatsapp and Facebook he sent me a normal sms text asking me why I blocked him. .. so he's clearly not great at respecting boundaries (obviously blocked on sms now too).

OP posts:

myeyesneverstoprolling · 30/04/2022 19:18

Nope I wouldn't want to be with him either. If he had said that to me. I would have just got my stuff and walked out that door.

I would love to get in this guy's head and find out why he thinks he's giving you "advice" is okay..

Never ever ever make negative comments to your sex partner. Even if their plumbing smells like a backed up toilet. Lie and say you suddenly don't feel good or what ever but don't ever make negative comments about how someone tastes or smells. Call me crazy but I don't need to hear "health advice" in the middle of playtime.

Fit50 · 30/04/2022 19:22

OP I do not know how to post replies with the comments above and I do not feel I’ve been judged by you. However, I also cannot relate to the comment you made about commenting on a persons interior design and commenting to a person after sex with someone. I would feel much more comfortable making a comment to someone I had just had sex with in comparison to commenting on someone’s home I had just visited? Maybe it’s just me but I’m struggling with that one a bit. OP you should move on from this. I’m sure you do not have a smell. Each human being experiences different smells in different ways and sometimes two human beings are just not compatible because of this. As you also said he had ejaculated sperm in you earlier also so it was probably his own stale smell anyway. IMO it is a clinical thing and nothing to take personally. You have never had a comment from anyone else so forget about it and move on with or without him. You are the one in control .

VladmirsPoutine · 30/04/2022 19:24

You've ended the relationship so there you go. I reported my post (the one before the last one) as these things can really leave a woman feeling fragile. Dating in these times is really like trying to cross a minefield without getting blown apart. That's what basically what's happened to you and it's okay to feel down, angry and annoyed by it but applying terms to it to make it seem more than what it is which is essentially a few dates which then went left seems quite ridiculous. But don't let this put you off, if anything build a thicker skin.

I once had a few dates with a man who when we later returned to his flat had a broken bath tub in his living room. I booked an uber and left immediately. When he later texted me I said that he should sort out the bath tub in the front room before inviting any other women to his flat. So I'm sure there are men out there who will love your taste but he didn't. Just in the same way there are women who wouldn't be rattled by a bath tub just randomly in a living room.

myeyesneverstoprolling · 30/04/2022 19:25

Northernsoullover · 30/04/2022 16:46

Could you have had disco minge?

That's a very rude and presumptuous to say!!!

I don't know if you're serious or trying to be funny.. Either way your comment was uncalled for.

aSofaNearYou · 30/04/2022 19:26

VladmirsPoutine · 30/04/2022 19:02

I find it astonishing that people can have sex with someone - one of the most if not the most intimate act then thereafter fall to pieces because of honesty then try to re-write it using sociological concepts such as 'gas-lighting' and 'negging' just to try to save some semblance of their bruised ego.

Nobody is going to force the OP to have sex with that man again. But is everyone supposed to just shut up and put up. What if it was the other way round and his dick was crusted all around the tip. Would the OP be expected to continuously give him oral sex for fear of offending him the first time they'd have sex

Calling it gaslighting would be a bit much but it's hardly astonishing to think that right after DTD for the first time is too vulnerable a time for making those kind of comments. Nobody is saying he can never comment on it, just that that was not the time.

If his penis was crusted at the tip it would be an obvious hygiene issue, very different from a strong tasting vagina.

Hawkins001 · 30/04/2022 19:28

anonacfr · 30/04/2022 17:32

So what's disco minge?

This is from Google

"What is Disco Minge? 1. This refers to the state of the minge. After a night clubbing the minge will get sweaty and unpleasent to the taste and smell"

myeyesneverstoprolling · 30/04/2022 19:28

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 16:49

@pedropony76 Yeah honestly I'd have preferred he said nothing and just either not gave me oral sex again or stopped seeing me if it bothered him that much.

Giving out unsolicited medical advice on a woman's body the first time you have a sex is a dealbreaker for me. I agree with the posters above I won't ever feel safe with him.

He was trying to organise a date for tonight but told him the truth about why i don't want to see him again.
He has text back saying he didn't mean it please don't let this be the end because of a stupid comment. "I love the way you taste I'm just an idiot" but nah I'm done

I would tell him that his legs are going to get tired from all that backpedaling he's doing..
Block and delete his number..

Hawkins001 · 30/04/2022 19:29

myeyesneverstoprolling · 30/04/2022 19:25

That's a very rude and presumptuous to say!!!

I don't know if you're serious or trying to be funny.. Either way your comment was uncalled for.

Show quote history

To help me understand better, if it's a factual question to x situation, why would it be considered rude ?

Hawkins001 · 30/04/2022 19:29

Also from Google

"Eating an excessive amount of meat, dairy products, and alcohol can also make the vagina smell strong and sour. On the other hand, citrus fruits (e.g., oranges and grapefruits) can make the smell and taste of vaginal fluids sweeter. Some research claims that people who adhere to a vegetarian diet have a milder vaginal odor."

amatsip · 30/04/2022 19:31

I think he had a lucky escape

Original poster

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 19:32

VladmirsPoutine · 30/04/2022 19:24

You've ended the relationship so there you go. I reported my post (the one before the last one) as these things can really leave a woman feeling fragile. Dating in these times is really like trying to cross a minefield without getting blown apart. That's what basically what's happened to you and it's okay to feel down, angry and annoyed by it but applying terms to it to make it seem more than what it is which is essentially a few dates which then went left seems quite ridiculous. But don't let this put you off, if anything build a thicker skin.

I once had a few dates with a man who when we later returned to his flat had a broken bath tub in his living room. I booked an uber and left immediately. When he later texted me I said that he should sort out the bath tub in the front room before inviting any other women to his flat. So I'm sure there are men out there who will love your taste but he didn't. Just in the same way there are women who wouldn't be rattled by a bath tub just randomly in a living room.

I'm not feeling fragile, angry or annoyed and I was never one bit worried about my taste. I have never had any complaints and I'm a decent looking girl if I wanted another sex partner I could have one within the hour. I don't need a thicker skin. My instincts were 100% right on this guy. I didn't like an unsolicited negative comment about my body. I didn't like him sending texts denying he said it and minimising my feelings and I don't like that he is still trying to contact me despite me blocking him. He is a walking red flag.

OP posts:

Norush4 · 30/04/2022 19:32

It's hard to weigh up. Is this a personality thing? He must be quite forward because I don't think I would say that.... he said it straight after. Its crass! But men can be.

What is his definition of strong though? Sperm has a scent!

I think you have been hasty to block but I can see how it's highly offensive to you OP

Bunchymcbunchface · 30/04/2022 19:33

Nope. That’d be it for me. Sorry it’s not me it’s you, bye.

ParisNoir · 30/04/2022 19:34

Nobody is going to force the OP to have sex with that man again. But is everyone supposed to just shut up and put up. What if it was the other way round and his dick was crusted all around the tip. Would the OP be expected to continuously give him oral sex for fear of offending him the first time they'd have sex

Firstly, noone is forced to have sex with anyone and they had already had sex so he was probably tasting his own fluids from earlier

Secondly, a "crusty" tip would indicate to me a potential STD or medical issue of some kind and is therefore far more concerning and not comparable at all to someone not tasting sweet

Thirdly, of course you can mention it but not on the first bloody date and there are ways of phrasing it that dont make you sound like a crusty dick!

MissPolliezDolly · 30/04/2022 19:35

Is anyone else in the mood of pineapple now?

myeyesneverstoprolling · 30/04/2022 19:36

Absentmindedwoman · 30/04/2022 16:54

"I think you should drink more water you taste kind of strong"

Do you not ever taste yourself? Either directly from the source or did he not kiss you after oral?

Also, possibly being a bit thick here but - surely him saying you taste a certain way is not the same thing as hinting that you smell, which some of the comments on this thread seem to be along the lines of?

Sure smell and taste are related but not quite the same are they?

Maybe he just means your juices were like those bottles of the very concentrated squash and need to dilute yourself down a bit more

No, that was just plain rude. You don't ever make comments like in the middle of sex. Even if it's true. You don't do that shit.