Comment after oral sex (this may be TMI for some ppl)

[Limebazil]

I am seeing a guy the last few weeks we are both early 30s. He seems like a nice guy, and things were going great. Last night we slept together for the first time, it was great he was very generous in bed but after he had gone down on me he said "I think you should drink more water you taste kind of strong". This was really hurtful to me, I'm sure he didn't mean it to be hurtful and maybe I'm overly sensitive but why would you say that when it is widely known that women/ girls are paranoid about how they look/ smell/ taste down there. He's not a gynaecologist so the health advice was not appreciated. He could see he had upset me and tried to back track saying "he didn't mean it like that" and "I'm crazy about you the last thing I want to do is offend you I was just trying to help" but now I'm just seeing it as a red flag. AIBU?

Also if you don’t appreciate another point of view why did you post in AIBU?

@Fit50

i also like your style!

I don’t actually think he’s necessarily done anything wrong here. Imo it depends on level of comfort you have with someone, and how blasé you are about such topics. Personally I wouldn’t be offended (I’d prefer I was told than not), and I’m also the type that would say something in much the same way he did because I’d assume (possibly wrongly) that it would be taken in the spirit intended. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong in being offended though, because you have your own level of comfort.

It may not have occurred to him at all that you were feeling vulnerable.

Spot on instincts OP

I can't believe you let him stay the night and then MADE HIM BREAKFAST??!

After an insult like that I'd have asked him to leave there and then.

Just put it down to experience OP.

NEXT!

Maybe you don't smell it on yourself though, like some folk don't notice their own homes have a certain smell, and maybe others haven't felt comfortable saying anything bit have thought it. I'd be embarrassed as hell too but clearly he said it for a reason not just for the sheer hell of it, and he sounded like he didn't intend to offend or hurt you, more that he wants to do it again but without the bitter taste. I think you should up the water and pineapple intake!

Have you got one of those pH strips?

@MissMaple82 did you read the bit where she had his jizz fermenting up her for a good few hours before he shoved his mouth there? It's clearly going to be that.

@Fit50 if you imagine that some people have ONS with someone who has probably not showered for a couple of days, etc, it’s unbelievable for some that you want to be clean.
I understand where you’re coming from, completely. I don’t think you need to explain your choices. You and your DP are happy with it and that all that matters.

Personally I'd rather people are honest than never do something again, seems you don't like it though so dump him. Seems a daft reason to me though

This is negging. Mentioning it outside of the bedroom after a few times if he genuinely felt there could be a health problem? Okay. Saying it after ONE TIME?? How the fuck would he know what’s normal for you? He did it on purpose to make you insecure.

100% and given his gaslighty follow up text he was a walking red flag. Glad he's blocked now.

It's hardly surprising she tasted ripe after he spunked in her and they went to sleep for a few hours! A gentleman wouldn't have mentioned it.

He’s a burning red flag. He didn’t say the comment. Negging then gaslighting - throw him back blaming you saying you have issues !! Wtf?

How mortifying for you

Nah he’d be history. Firstly very odd thing to say and secondly I’d be a tad concerned at how many he’s tasted to comment like he’s an expert. Bye bye!

The people who say a rude comment and then try to backpedal by saying "didn't mean it like that" make my teeth itch.

I was in a relationship with a guy before I got married. He had just been through a messy divorce and during our first physical encounter he had impotence issues and an intense headache. He blamed it on the condom but I refused to go any further without using one and I suggested he might have high blood pressure and needed to get it checked. He did. As it turns out he had dangerously high blood pressure which would have leaded to kidney failure had it not been treated. We continued dating for a while after but we didn’t have chemistry and in honesty he didn’t like my directness so we parted ways. It’s just bodies and I just don’t understand if you can have sex with someone why can’t you also talk to them directly? OP this sort of open guy is not for you but his honesty will be a suitable match for others. Why all the hate and judgement?

Fwiw OP I think you were right to tell him to do one. If there was a problem he could have waited a week or two to see if it was a one off and now trying to make out like your the unreasonable one 🙄. I would have been very upset and felt vulnerable if someone made that comment to me the first time we had sex.

Next time you go down on him I’d say “you should eat more pineapple, you taste very sour”

I've now managed to read all your posts, OP - couldn't before, for some reason.

I'm now more convinced than ever that you've done the right thing. I abhor those "Who hurt you, gurl?" kind of comments 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

@Fit50 where have I been hateful or judgmental?

The guy commented negatively about my body and gave me unsolicited medical advice the first time we had sex. Then said he didn't mean it, then denied he said it at all..... all red flags to me so he is blocked. No hate. No judgment. Just blocked.

The comments on here, my life 😂😂😂😂🍷🍷

As if OP should be anywhere near him in the future,much less giving him a bj.

I think you have overreacted

I’ve got mixed feelings on it. Yes it’s a bit hurtful but if you’d already had sex then that’s likely why, I’d have told him later that’s most likely why and you were very hurt. Anyway your choice