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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment after oral sex (this may be TMI for some ppl)

655 replies

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 16:06

I am seeing a guy the last few weeks we are both early 30s. He seems like a nice guy, and things were going great. Last night we slept together for the first time, it was great he was very generous in bed but after he had gone down on me he said "I think you should drink more water you taste kind of strong". This was really hurtful to me, I'm sure he didn't mean it to be hurtful and maybe I'm overly sensitive but why would you say that when it is widely known that women/ girls are paranoid about how they look/ smell/ taste down there. He's not a gynaecologist so the health advice was not appreciated. He could see he had upset me and tried to back track saying "he didn't mean it like that" and "I'm crazy about you the last thing I want to do is offend you I was just trying to help" but now I'm just seeing it as a red flag. AIBU?

OP posts:
Onwards22 · 30/04/2022 18:15

I even insist my husband eats a lot of pineapple before I will schedule in oral sex!

WHAT!!
Surely people don’t actually schedule oral sex! You’re not going to the dentist!
Sex is meant to be fun and exciting not boring and clinical.

CountTheStars · 30/04/2022 18:16

Maybe he’ll learn his lesson now. Rude rude rude

GooglyEyeballs · 30/04/2022 18:16

He sounds like such a creep!! Well done for blocking him!! Serious ick from that last message he sent you!

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

A bit OCD is not a thing

Onwards22 · 30/04/2022 18:17

OMG his latest text is even worse than the comment!

I would reply that no it wasn’t about the comment last night but you just aren’t compatible and that it’s best to leave things.
Then block.

frostedfruits · 30/04/2022 18:17

Pineapple transit time and disco minge Grin

Chiefofstaff · 30/04/2022 18:18

If I had just performed oral sex on him and thought he tasted a bit funky I would file it away and think of a way to approach it tactfully at a later date, assuming the relationship progressed

i agree. It was bound to be hurtful the way he went about it. I wouldn’t want to see someone again if they thought that was appropriate .

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 18:19

I didn't respond just blocked on everything. What an absolute arsehole.

OP posts:
Bananarama21 · 30/04/2022 18:21

Disco minge is when you been on a night out dancing and are sweaty down below especially if you've been drinking and wee loads.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 30/04/2022 18:21

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 16:28

@Fit50 I'm an interior designer but there is no way on earth that I would be rude enough to give unsolicited decorating advice to anyone whose home I visited for the first time.

@LoveSpringDaffs for me I think it's a red flag that he commented negatively about my body the first time we slept together. I think I'm just going to be honest. I don't think I want to see him again.

I had a weird experience with a full on love bomber narcissist who did this. All about how amazing and hot I was then after I came said he didn't think women could come without getting wet Hmm
I didn't bin him off that time but I did the second thankfully.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 18:21

Disco fanny is a reference to having a sweaty/smelly fanny after dancing all night in a club/disco

FictionalCharacter · 30/04/2022 18:22

So he didn’t like the taste of his own man juice and blamed you? Charming.

PaddlingLikeADuck · 30/04/2022 18:23

You’ve done the right thing OP - absolutely.

Eddielizzard · 30/04/2022 18:25

Nice bit of gaslighting and denial there, mixed in with a bit of emotional blackmail and a smattering of #benice.

What a catch! He'll be surprised and confused to find himself blocked.

Scianel · 30/04/2022 18:26

I find it quite interesting actually the various comments immediately agreeing there's something wrong with you or saying he's nice and trying to be helpful. It's a good insight into how posters then wind up posting in distress years down the line about their shitty relationship with their dreadful boyfriend or husband.

pixie5121 · 30/04/2022 18:28

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

WhackingPhoenix · 30/04/2022 18:28

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 16:58

@Absentmindedwoman It was after we had a penetrative sex so it was a lot of his fluids down there too. Maybe he should take his own suggestion.

Off topic but are you saying you had unprotected sex with a man you’ve just met 😐

pinkstripeycat · 30/04/2022 18:30

There was no mention by OP that her partner said she had a strong SMELL, he said TASTE!

If there was a smell after washing then yes there may be a problem but not taste

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 18:30

Scianel · 30/04/2022 18:26

I find it quite interesting actually the various comments immediately agreeing there's something wrong with you or saying he's nice and trying to be helpful. It's a good insight into how posters then wind up posting in distress years down the line about their shitty relationship with their dreadful boyfriend or husband.

I know! Like immediately it was me who needed to change my diet and see my gynaecologist.... when the post was about the appropriatness of his comment not actually looking for medical advice.

OP posts:
gianaInfertilitySucks · 30/04/2022 18:31

🚩🚩🚩 alert!

LetHimHaveIt · 30/04/2022 18:32

I wouldn't see him again, I don't think. I can't see that there's a link between drinking water and the smell of one's vulva per se - what there is, is a link between drinking enough water and therefore having more dilute urine. So he's surely essentially saying you smelt a bit pissy. Either you do, in which case I'd be too embarrassed to see him again, or you don't, and he's doing some sort of weird negging.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 30/04/2022 18:32

WhackingPhoenix · 30/04/2022 18:28

Off topic but are you saying you had unprotected sex with a man you’ve just met 😐

Show quote history

To be fair she said she'd been on 9 dates or something and they had both got tested. Still mad behaviour with a new boyfriend though

Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 18:34

I think after 7 weeks of dating and attending an STI clinic together you rather know each other well enough for a polite comment on how you taste.

Flaunch · 30/04/2022 18:35

Fit50 · 30/04/2022 16:16

I’m an ex healthcare professional and I might have even advised a partner with strong smelling odor to go to the GP and get their kidney function checked too! I even insist my husband eats a lot of pineapple before I will schedule in oral sex! If it was me I would find this man’s openness endearing. Buy a couple of pineapples to eat together and make a joke about it.

I’d find it endearing too. Openness around bodies and sex leads to better relationships and sex. It doesn’t sound like he was putting you down and I don’t honk you should be offended by it :)

Fit50 · 30/04/2022 18:35

Why do people feel the need to berate me? Sex to me is about both parties having multiple orgasms. I’m not romantic. I don’t like kissing. I don’t particularly like giving or receiving oral sex as I feel the orgasm I have during these are not as intense as the ones I have with penetrative sex. If I am to partake in oral sex I would never do it after penetrative sex anyway and I would always make sure that mine any my husbands acidity levels are as optimum as possible (hence the pineapple and fruit diet) and shower before hand too or do it in the shower. Why do some of you feel the need to make fun of me for this?