His comment about your arse screams ‘negging’…with the benefit of hindsight. Most of us would want to see the best in someone and excuse this as clumsy phrasing, or see it as a bit of a backhanded compliment but softened by the proper compliment.
I guess really what we all need to do is ask ourselves if we want to be with men who seem surprised that we have confidence or who feel it’s ok to comment negatively on our bodies and tell us our arses are big etc etc without them knowing us well enough to know it is okay to. I wouldn’t comment on a new bloke’s paunch in bed, or a receding hair line, or semen taste. Imagine saying to a guy, ‘most men with flabby pecs wouldn’t wear a shirt that tight but I love your confidence!’ That’s not a compliment. It’s fucking rude.
I once dated a guy who in the early days was cuddled up with me and one of my boobs was bolstered by my arm and the other wasn’t. He said, ‘one of your tits is bigger than the other, isn’t it?’ Now, that’s not the case. Not unless we are talking about an imperceptible millimetre. But the fact that he thought it was okay to say it out of the blue, presumably knowing that if I did have one noticeably bigger I’d probably be quite self conscious about it, was enough for me to end it. No tact, no sensitivity, and thought it was okay to scrutinise my body and draw attention to anything that he thought was a fault. I then remembered other things he’d said and it was like a whole catalogue of minor digs and chipping away.
The bloke you met was a first class tosser. Repulsive email, and it all smacks of him hating your confidence and wanting to bring you down a peg or two by insulting your self-esteem, your sense of your desirability, your breasts, your bottom, your taste, your ability to choose not to speak to him again. Fuck him. Your red flag filter is working like it should.