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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment after oral sex (this may be TMI for some ppl)

655 replies

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 16:06

I am seeing a guy the last few weeks we are both early 30s. He seems like a nice guy, and things were going great. Last night we slept together for the first time, it was great he was very generous in bed but after he had gone down on me he said "I think you should drink more water you taste kind of strong". This was really hurtful to me, I'm sure he didn't mean it to be hurtful and maybe I'm overly sensitive but why would you say that when it is widely known that women/ girls are paranoid about how they look/ smell/ taste down there. He's not a gynaecologist so the health advice was not appreciated. He could see he had upset me and tried to back track saying "he didn't mean it like that" and "I'm crazy about you the last thing I want to do is offend you I was just trying to help" but now I'm just seeing it as a red flag. AIBU?

OP posts:
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 30/04/2022 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

😂😂😂

PeachesToday · 30/04/2022 22:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

For balance, I don’t find the OP defensive but refreshing.

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 22:44

Annoyedandirritated · 30/04/2022 22:37

Bloody hell, does he know where you live?

Yes he was here last night which is worrying me now especially because I can't figure out how he got my email address.

OP posts:
SeedyBloomer · 30/04/2022 22:46

After seeing that email, I’m even more convinced that he’s hideous than I was based on his comment alone. Lucky escape, OP.

I think many people know that various things affect the taste - the contraceptive pill can make you taste more acidic / tangy, and the taste can vary with the time of the month. Thick white fluid doesn’t taste like clear fluid. Strong foods eg garlic and onion can affect it. No, it’s not a delightful topic but it’s just how it is. This dickhead expert vagina taster of a man doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does. Honestly, he’s given me the ick with his ‘feedback.’

ldontWanna · 30/04/2022 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Just because someone is a mysoginistic twat, doesn't mean you have to be one back.

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 30/04/2022 22:49

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches 😂😂😂

JollyWilloughby · 30/04/2022 22:54

@idontwanna

Agreed. I lowered the tone there in a language only @Justkidding55 would understand.

OP - That sounds worrying. If you’re concerned make sure you speak to someone about it in real life. He clearly creeped you out enough to post on mumsnet.

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 30/04/2022 22:54

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 21:15

I recieved this email from him. He's an absolute prick. Can you block emails? Is there a way to do that?

Well isn't he a gem 🥴

Katya213 · 30/04/2022 22:55

That is a bit alarming. You did the right thing, he sounds like a nutcase.

AnnieSnap · 30/04/2022 22:57

Yes you can block emails. Just go to the senders address. There should be a drop down list and block is in there. Your instincts are good.

CoraPearl · 30/04/2022 22:58

Wow, OP, that email* - he really has shown you exactly who he is. His behaviour is appalling, as is his grammar.

Am so sorry he’s turned out to be an utter arsehole.

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 23:01

JollyWilloughby · 30/04/2022 22:54

@idontwanna

Agreed. I lowered the tone there in a language only @Justkidding55 would understand.

OP - That sounds worrying. If you’re concerned make sure you speak to someone about it in real life. He clearly creeped you out enough to post on mumsnet.

Thanks I live alone but my 2 girlfriends are staying here tonight just in case, we've been having a bit of a laugh at the whole thing earlier until I got the email and now it feels a bit more sinister.

OP posts:
Onwards22 · 30/04/2022 23:04

I do think Fit50 is slightly batshit for scheduling in oral sex and making her DH eat pineapples for 5 days prior to the event.

I don’t think she’s been bullied.
She gave her opinion and others have given theirs.

However some posters have complained about her keep posting but she is being tagged/mentioned a lot so of course she’s going to keep replying.

Chakraleaf · 30/04/2022 23:06

What an absolute arse. Red flags proving correct.

Ignore it and I hope he calms down and fucks off.

myeyesneverstoprolling · 30/04/2022 23:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Email screengrab?? So you're saying that he was justified in calling her a C*nt??

Also please show me where OP is being defensive.

Onwards22 · 30/04/2022 23:07

I think you can find someone’s email from their Facebook.

I wouldn’t actually block him on email though - I’d rather know what’s going on and if he threatens to come round you need to ring the police.

Onwards22 · 30/04/2022 23:08

Also just ignore.

BeQuicksieorBeDead · 30/04/2022 23:09

Take care, OP. Absolute f*cking arsehole, obvs.

I have been off MN for a good while, but it has taken me aback just how many posters a) immediately assumed he was right and you needed to see a doctor or were mortified for you, you dirty woman, and b) how many have suggested you might have made it all up. Is that not what he has just done?! Not sure I will be staying on here for long if MN is now about blaming and doubting women.

gamerchick · 30/04/2022 23:09

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 21:15

I recieved this email from him. He's an absolute prick. Can you block emails? Is there a way to do that?

Pretty typical shit isn't it? 🙄

alltheteeshirts · 30/04/2022 23:10

OP - are you on LinkedIn? A lot of people set their email addresses to public there, so if you know someone's full name, it's not hard to track down their email.

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 23:12

I'm sure he'll be back on tinder tomorrow and I'll be a distant memory.
He didn't like being rejected got angry and lashed out it's depressingly common.
My friend was just telling me she was at a club recently dancing on the dancefloor when some guy came up behind her grabbing her by the waist and grinding against her and when she told him to fuck off he called her a "fat pig". Unbelievable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 23:17

alltheteeshirts · 30/04/2022 23:10

OP - are you on LinkedIn? A lot of people set their email addresses to public there, so if you know someone's full name, it's not hard to track down their email.

I'm an idiot! Yes that's it, my email is public on my LinkedIn page.... thank god because I was getting really paranoid about how he got it.

OP posts:
keratoms · 30/04/2022 23:23

What does that mean? You taste quite strong, of what?

RhubarbFairy · 30/04/2022 23:34

It's always the 'nice guys'.

Sorry you're dealing with such a dick @Limebazil. Well done for trusting your gut.

DoorWasAJar · 30/04/2022 23:34

Fit50 · 30/04/2022 16:16

I’m an ex healthcare professional and I might have even advised a partner with strong smelling odor to go to the GP and get their kidney function checked too! I even insist my husband eats a lot of pineapple before I will schedule in oral sex! If it was me I would find this man’s openness endearing. Buy a couple of pineapples to eat together and make a joke about it.

But they’re not married! And not everyone is happy with a partner telling them what to eat and when...