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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment after oral sex (this may be TMI for some ppl)

655 replies

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 16:06

I am seeing a guy the last few weeks we are both early 30s. He seems like a nice guy, and things were going great. Last night we slept together for the first time, it was great he was very generous in bed but after he had gone down on me he said "I think you should drink more water you taste kind of strong". This was really hurtful to me, I'm sure he didn't mean it to be hurtful and maybe I'm overly sensitive but why would you say that when it is widely known that women/ girls are paranoid about how they look/ smell/ taste down there. He's not a gynaecologist so the health advice was not appreciated. He could see he had upset me and tried to back track saying "he didn't mean it like that" and "I'm crazy about you the last thing I want to do is offend you I was just trying to help" but now I'm just seeing it as a red flag. AIBU?

OP posts:
Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 20:56

Once I tried to end the relationship suddenly I tasted like Hagen Daas.... he was begging and begging me to let him go down on me again. Why if I tasted so awful to begin with?

he didn’t say you tasted awful. He said you had a strong taste.
If you had actually had sex beforehand you could have just said “lol that’s your own sperm”.

maybe you do have a strong taste?

this is just another AIBU where the poster doesn’t think they are BU so it’s pointless. I’m also getting pretty tired of men being picked apart and turned into villains when they don’t deserve it. At worst he’s been a thoughtless tit. You’re painting him as some sort of monster because he’s hurt your feelings (whatever you say to the contrary).

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 20:56

Fit50 · 30/04/2022 20:52

You asked for opinions. We gave you them. You now feel it is okay to berate and belittle those of us with opinions you do not agree with. You live your life in a certain way. Other people live their lives in a very different way from yours. If you ask for opinions you will get different points of view. Try not to judge and belittle those of us who imo have replied to your OP with honesty and integrity.

Show quote history

Where did I judge or belittle anyone?

OP posts:
Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 20:57

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 20:56

Where did I judge or belittle anyone?

Show quote history

I think she is the pineapple eater

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 20:58

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 20:56

Where did I judge or belittle anyone?

Show quote history

And for the record if I listened to your opinions instead of my instinct then I would still be seeing a guy who turned out to be a gaslighting liar who doesn't respect any boundaries (continuing to try contact me despite me blocking him).

OP posts:
Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 20:58

Trying to make me think I'm crazy by denying something that he had previously acknowledged? Is that not exactly what gaslighting is

YOU are inferring that he is doing this somehow on purpose to make you think you are crazy. Why would he be trying to make you think you’re crazy?!

he probably just realised he’s upset you and wants to pretend he didn’t say it. It’s stupid yes but it’s not evil or whatever. I think you’ve massively overreacted

Blossomtoes · 30/04/2022 21:00

he asked me if I’d consider shaving more down there

He’d have been history if it was me.

myeyesneverstoprolling · 30/04/2022 21:01

WTF475878237NC · 30/04/2022 19:57

It was perfectly reasonable for him to request you drink more water as to him your taste is strong. Whether other men haven't had the same thought or courage to tell you isn't relevant and whether you like how you taste is also irrelevant. He chose the wrong time to be honest for sure. His later behaviour seems just desperately backtracking and for you a number of red flags, fair enough. But being honest in itself isn't a red flag to me.

Maybe he was being "honest" because he was embarrassed about eating his own cum dumplings. Therefore he had to be "honest" to make himself feel better.

sarahann1211112 · 30/04/2022 21:01

So he came in you then went down on you and didn't like how his cum tasted.
What an idiot.

IsabelaMadrigal · 30/04/2022 21:02

Definitely not overreacting op.

Perhaps give the cool girls the link to his dating profile and let them have at it.

pixie5121 · 30/04/2022 21:02

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 21:03

Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 20:56

Once I tried to end the relationship suddenly I tasted like Hagen Daas.... he was begging and begging me to let him go down on me again. Why if I tasted so awful to begin with?

he didn’t say you tasted awful. He said you had a strong taste.
If you had actually had sex beforehand you could have just said “lol that’s your own sperm”.

maybe you do have a strong taste?

this is just another AIBU where the poster doesn’t think they are BU so it’s pointless. I’m also getting pretty tired of men being picked apart and turned into villains when they don’t deserve it. At worst he’s been a thoughtless tit. You’re painting him as some sort of monster because he’s hurt your feelings (whatever you say to the contrary).

Well considering he just emailed me calling me a "c@#t" I think this guy is actually is a villain.

Trust your instincts girls.... if it looks like a red flag it probably is.

OP posts:
Justkidding55 · 30/04/2022 21:03

I would appreciate the honesty. It has nothing to do with drinking water some people are
just stronger than others it’s to do with hormones. Just be glad he can be honest as this is the foundation for an amazing sex life x

Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 21:05

Well considering he just emailed me calling me a "c@#t" I think this guy is actually is a villain

if that’s actually true then your instincts were spot on. Although I’m slightly sceptical about how this thread seems to have reflected the narrative you’ve been driving at in a very convenient manner

myeyesneverstoprolling · 30/04/2022 21:05

caringcarer · 30/04/2022 20:01

If you know and admit you don't drink enough water it should be obvious to you it will be stronger than if you do drink enough water. He was being honest. I never complain when men are honest, because so many of them aren't. Just drink more water.

How is he being honest? He insulted, backpedaled and gaslighted her. How does that count as honesty?

100problems · 30/04/2022 21:06

Prepares for boom in sales of water and buys shares in Evian.

You're missing a trick, I've gone long in Del Monte.

100problems · 30/04/2022 21:06

Prepares for boom in sales of water and buys shares in Evian.

You're missing a trick, I've gone long in Del Monte.

JollyWilloughby · 30/04/2022 21:10

@Limebazil

emailed you calling you a C U next Tuesday because you blocked him on your phone? Massive control freak.

Good grief OP you’ve swerved it. Well done. Your instinct was absolutely right.

He tried to shame you and failed and when his little hoover manoeuvres weren’t working he unleashed his true self.

And to think there’s women on here who would have “appreciated his honesty” and started eating fucking pineapples.

100problems · 30/04/2022 21:10

Apologies OP, I hadn't read the thread entirely.

ldontWanna · 30/04/2022 21:11

Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 21:05

Well considering he just emailed me calling me a "c@#t" I think this guy is actually is a villain

if that’s actually true then your instincts were spot on. Although I’m slightly sceptical about how this thread seems to have reflected the narrative you’ve been driving at in a very convenient manner

The thing is a lot of "nice" men turn that way when things don't go their way. It's a more common escalation than you'd think.

Scianel · 30/04/2022 21:12

And to think there’s women on here who would have “appreciated his honesty” and started eating fucking pineapples

As I said earlier, it's been a lightbulb moment for me as to how many women post about their abusive partners. They ignore whole parades of red flags at the start and berate anyone who actually has boundaries.

Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 21:12

This thread has been one large escalation after the other - drip feed after drip feed!

Booboobagins · 30/04/2022 21:13

Limebazil · 30/04/2022 16:58

@Absentmindedwoman It was after we had a penetrative sex so it was a lot of his fluids down there too. Maybe he should take his own suggestion.

So he could have been tasting himself? Ewww! Sorry I'm obvs a little prudish, no man ever did that to me after doing the biz with me!

it's a red flag for me.

He doesn't know you that well, he could have discussed this wityoanither time.

Do what you feel is right OP. Telling someone to change something about themselves like this may be showing what he is truly like.

Goldijobsandthe3bears · 30/04/2022 21:15

Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 21:12

This thread has been one large escalation after the other - drip feed after drip feed!

But isn’t that what happens when someone is posting about a current and unfolding situation

Original poster
Limebazil · 30/04/2022 21:15

I recieved this email from him. He's an absolute prick. Can you block emails? Is there a way to do that?

Comment after oral sex (this may be TMI for some ppl)
OP posts:
Giraffesandbottom · 30/04/2022 21:16

@ldontWanna

The thing is a lot of "nice" men turn that way when things don't go their way. It's a more common escalation than you'd think

absolutely they do! I have experienced this too - it’s awfuL. I just don’t think
OP comes across as the nicest either…