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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Scared my partner will be taken from me

362 replies

Derrymare · 29/04/2022 21:46

Please don't judge me but I have been in a relationship for 6 years with a Pakistani national he has been in the country 10 years.
We have lived together 5 years and we are very close. He supports me emotionally as I suffer from depression adhd etc I can't imagine life without him.
The homeoffice refused him any kind of stay and its going to appeal but I'm so worried that the judge will refuse.
We was refused because they say our relationship didn't start at least 2 years before he seeked asylum and that he hasn't been in the UK 20 continuous years.
We don't have any children to help our case and I don't meet the financial requirements.

OP posts:
SausagePourHomme · 30/04/2022 17:28

I do think you have posted about this in the recent past and then had the thread deleted over privacy concerns. Why post again? These responses are exactly the same as you got last time.

Unfortunately no matter which way you look at it the outcome is going to be the same.

JanisMoplin · 30/04/2022 17:52

WallaceinAnderland · 30/04/2022 16:13

The 10 year route is only for people who are living legally in the UK isn't it?

Show quote history

Yes. It concerns me that OP has still not realised this and has apparently been badly advised. Legal stay is necessary.

Onwards22 · 30/04/2022 17:56

Why is everybody so adamant he is using me obviously yes I am his only hope but the only reason I'm helping him.like this is because he cares for me.

OP you could be 100% correct and I have known people in similar situations who have genuine love for each other.

But people have concerns because you are obviously very vulnerable. You depend on him so much physically and mentally. He’s also lived with you for the majority of the relationship and hasn’t contributed financially in all that time.

This isn’t about race or the fact he’s an immigrant.
Any relationship that is built on a need to stay together because the other one can’t cope is unhealthy.
If someone had posted that their partner hasn’t worked for 5 years everyone would be telling them to kick them out.

If you weren’t as vulnerable as you are then posters would have different replies but you are and so you need to be extra careful.

Obviously it’s irrelevant as no one knows how he truly feels apart from him.
Unfortunately if he can’t stay in this country he is going to have to go back home and either you go with him or you have a long distance relationship until one of you can move.
I’m sure he can find work in his country so then he can support you instead.

Original poster
Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:12

Pakistan is awful for low wages and corruption.

OP posts:
Original poster
Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:14

You are granted the 10 year route we want him to become legal on that route so it's a 30 month visa that keeps renewing until he hits 10 years and can apply to settle.

OP posts:
Fishwishy · 30/04/2022 18:15

Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:12

Pakistan is awful for low wages and corruption.

Low wages and corruption are not grounds for an asylum claim.

LIZS · 30/04/2022 18:15

Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:12

Pakistan is awful for low wages and corruption.

That is as maybe, or at least what he has told you, but that does not support an asylum claim. He would be an economic migrant.

NoviceNetwork · 30/04/2022 18:18

@Derrymare I really think you should listen to those trying to gently tell you to face reality. Or at least the possibility that this isn't going to go well.

If the extent of the argument for granting asylum is that Pakistan has low wages and corruption (where doesn't?) and that you somehow think, or have been led to believe, that this is some sort of human rights issue, then you have been misled.

Original poster
Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:23

Fishwishy
I wasn't suggesting that I was referring to a previous poster saying he can support me in Pakistan.

OP posts:
SinaraSmith · 30/04/2022 18:40

Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:14

You are granted the 10 year route we want him to become legal on that route so it's a 30 month visa that keeps renewing until he hits 10 years and can apply to settle.

What’s a 30 month visa?

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 18:41

Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:14

You are granted the 10 year route we want him to become legal on that route so it's a 30 month visa that keeps renewing until he hits 10 years and can apply to settle.

But why didn't he do that 10 years ago?

LIZS · 30/04/2022 18:44

Is that a Family Visa? I don't think he can apply for one while illegally in UK.

SinaraSmith · 30/04/2022 18:45

Op are you saying he is now going to say he doesn’t need asylum and just appealing because he is in a relationship with you?

Original poster
Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:56

SinaraSmith
No we can't do that he claimed asylum so it has to be addressed along with the human rights.
He didn't have any type of route to take when his visa expired so he drifted along into this situation. He paid money to a agent who then abandoned him at the airport.

OP posts:
SinaraSmith · 30/04/2022 18:58

Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:56

SinaraSmith
No we can't do that he claimed asylum so it has to be addressed along with the human rights.
He didn't have any type of route to take when his visa expired so he drifted along into this situation. He paid money to a agent who then abandoned him at the airport.

So what 30 month visa is he trying to get so that he can keep renewing it and stay under the 10 year rule.

Tbh op it comes across as though you aren’t quite sure on the details of what’s actually going on. Are you unsure? Is it because you are distressed or is it because you only know what he tells you.

Iwasfeelingepic · 30/04/2022 19:00

I don't see what human rights are to do with anything? Can you explain this a bit more @Derrymare

youvegottenminuteslynn · 30/04/2022 19:00

He didn't have any type of route to take when his visa expired so he drifted along into this situation.

This kind of flimsy explanation isn't going to fly with officials OP and you both need to be realistic about things.

He didn't 'drift' into this, he's made a series of conscious choices and has at no point been genuinely seeking asylum so he's staggeringly unlikely to be granted asylum.

He's not fleeing persecution that he can't escape within Pakistan itself and unfortunately that means you're both going to need to accept he's likely to be deported.

You should not be reliant for one person in their entirety and you must try not to believe you need him in order to survive.

You've housed, clothed and fed him for years - you are therefore clearly a hard working and capable woman.

Don't write yourself off if he is deported. You can start to build a life here that doesn't require him, even if it's sad at the time.

Original poster
Derrymare · 30/04/2022 19:01

SinaraSmith
I know what I've researched and discussions with several solicitors.

OP posts:
SinaraSmith · 30/04/2022 19:01

The agent abandoned him at which airport? When he was leaving? When he was arriving?

That doesn’t explain why he stayed and didn’t bother doing anything and then decided to just lie and claim Asylum, when it doesn’t apply.

SinaraSmith · 30/04/2022 19:02

Derrymare · 30/04/2022 19:01

SinaraSmith
I know what I've researched and discussions with several solicitors.

But you didn’t know his Asylum claim would fail. Or that your relationship wouldn’t help.

and you don’t seem to know what this 30 month visa is.

Original poster
Derrymare · 30/04/2022 19:03

Arriving he didn't speak a word of English the agent was supposed to help him legalise his stay

OP posts:
Sortilege · 30/04/2022 19:03

Derrymare · 30/04/2022 18:14

You are granted the 10 year route we want him to become legal on that route so it's a 30 month visa that keeps renewing until he hits 10 years and can apply to settle.

So four 2.5 year visas? Then apply for IRL? On what grounds would he qualify for 30 month visas? I’m not a lawyer but that sounds a bit unlikely as a way to
regularise immigration status. Is the lawyer saying that’s a viable plan of action if asylum fails? Or is your other half saying this?

I don’t want to sound negative but I’m concerned some of these things don’t sound realistic.

Sortilege · 30/04/2022 19:06

Derrymare · 30/04/2022 19:03

Arriving he didn't speak a word of English the agent was supposed to help him legalise his stay

So it was a shady “agent” who was going to fly him out and in again? Or something else? This is hard to follow.

Could you tell us the whole story from start to end and maybe it will sound less worrying and easier to understand?

Original poster
Derrymare · 30/04/2022 19:06

It's the private life route you get a 2 and half year visa and keep applying to renew until you get to 10 years and apply for settlement.
We are hoping the judge will overturn the homeoffice refusal and let us stay together then the homeoffice will let him onto the 10 year route he can then work and pay his taxes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Derrymare · 30/04/2022 19:08

This information has come from our solicitor and you will see it online.

OP posts: