To have a late night / early morning rant about how no sleep is ruining my entire life?

[Notsleepingandnotcoping]

Lying here unable to sleep as have toddler with me. He refuses to go in his cot.

I have a three hour window (you can almost time it to the minute) when he goes to bed where he will sleep. Usually 730-1030. Then he wakes and that’s it.

I can either try to sleep myself then, or get all the other shit done. Either way I’m exhausted but if I sleep I am in chaos. If I don’t I have literally no sleep.

I can’t see friends, have a glass of wine, there is no enjoyment or pleasure in anything at all.

rant and moan and misery, pure misery.

i wish I had never done this.

Ring in sick today and sleep! You need a break for the sake of your mental health.

What sleep training have you actually done.

Because there's no way you've tried all the methods, and if you have you haven't tried them for enough time each.

Can you call in sick today?

When is DH back?

he won’t respond to sleep training.

Have you tried?

You need some time off work, to rest and make a plan.

It is possible to address these sleep issues. It's not easy though. So you need support from GP/HV, possibly a sleep consultant and your DH.

I'm really sorry you are in this position but you need to start actively looking for solutions. Screaming at a baby isn't right.

She hasn't tried.

She posts every couple of weeks and it's the same thing. I don't know why I care or respond but it annoys me.

What if you put his cot right against your bed so you can have hand through bars making contact but aren’t in same bed….if he cries at. You know you aren’t leaving him it’s just frustration for him so might ge a few nights of hell…in your shoes I’d be engaging a sleep training specialist not cheap I know but I’d do it,

Never mind a day off I'd take a week off and just sleep every time he's not there.
As someone who had a non sleeping child until age 11 I understand. I did co sleep (in his room) as nothing else worked, apart from a mattress on the floor in my room, for about six months. I was told to co sleep by a child therapist we went to.

@Notsleepingandnotcoping sorry to be blunt, but what are you looking for? This is your second thread in as many days in which you've repeatedly said you hate your child and have dismissed all and any suggestions on how to improve things.

If you're looking for sympathy, you've received it. But this isn't going to get better until you actually change something.

Btw I think you should see GP for yourself as you sound understandably on the edge…I went through horrific sleep depravation with my second DD she only slept in one hour stretches for over the first year, she too slept in my bed. I was prescribed medication for me. Can a friend stay over one night and help…I’d do it for a friend in your position in a heartbeat

Book yourself into a hotel for a few nights and let your dh deal with your toddlers sleep when he gets back. It may not feel like it but you will be getting some rest when co sleeping , dwelling on the fact he winemakers will make you feel even tireder. You know you love your dc, things will improve but sometimes things get worse before they get better (eg sleep training)

My best suggestion is to put DS in his cot, a mattress for yourself or DH on the floor next to that ( before you say there isn't any room - put the cot in the largest room you have).
Sing , read , play songs on your phone, cry, whatever, he will fall asleep and you are right there. Once that happens tag team out with your DH. He sleeps on the floor , you sleep in your bed. When DS wakes up if he won't settle after a reasonable time - say 10 minutes, then you swap.
You don't do anything else except necessary nappy changes. Dim light on permanently. I've always found a fan on low makes a nice quiet noise too.
Good luck .

Agree with everyone saying Ferber him.

But you have to actually do it, commit to it, not just do it half heartedly then say it hasn’t worked.

Could you get a sleep consultant? They are expensive but probably worth it. I hope you find a solution. No sleep absolutely is terrible.

I do feel for you, but I also feel for your child, who is at nursery all day and "seeking to reconnect" with you at night, and for this you "fucking hate him".

He's a toddler. He does not deserve that level of hostility directed at him. His father needs to step in, or someone does.

As an adult and as a parent you have the responsibility to seek help and sort this out. Sleep deprivation is absolute hell but it doesn't mean your child deserves to be screamed at because you won't put a plan in place.
Posters here are exasperated because you keep posting the same stuff and refusing to get help. It's not acceptable.

I've only just managed to stop co sleeping with my 2.5 year old in the last month. I spent a lot of time talking about his big boy bed, but for me the turning point was he stayed at his aunts to give me a nights sleep and he slept on his own with no trouble. I had a few sleepless nights taking him back every single time. I even sat next to the bed holding his hand while he went back to sleep. But after a week for the most part he's sleeping through. But he was co sleeping with me since 1 year old and liked to cuddle me too. I feel your pain. But it will change at some point. Hope you manage to get some sleep.

I had a child that didn't sleep.
He power napped and was awake for 3 days.(well it felt like it).

You have to keep trying to sleep Train,it does take time.

Get your DH to take a few days holiday,sleep yourself and then make a plan and stick to it.

It will take time,it'll be hard but you can't keep going like this.

You have my sympathies OP.

DS is 4.5 and only sleeps for 3 hours in a 24 hour period. I am constantly zombie like. It's torture. He's on melatonin

It’s just he won’t sleep without me. Even in the same bed he has to be physically on me, and it makes me bitterly resentful.

I completely get this!

I remember feeling the exact same way. I think that’s the hardest part about being a single parent is that you literally have no breathing space at all.

He will grow out of this.

I made my room completely child proof and put a baby gate on it. So when my DD woke up I would put her in my bed and go back to sleep. She’d often get up and play or do some colouring and then go back to sleep.

I needed sleep so chose to go bed the same time as her even though that means getting literally zero time to yourself.

Do you have anyone who could babysit for a few hours so you can get a decent sleep?

Wow! I'm not really sure why you're posting/keep posting the same thing. You don't seem to want any advice. Do you come on mumsnet for an argument? All these people offering you advice and you shut them down. 'No that won't work. Nobody can help' What exactly are you looking from the people of mumsnet? Sadly none of us have a magic wand to make it better. It's shit, I get it... but what are you expecting people to say?

Mine was like this and it was hell - I was working full time in a really difficult job on not enough sleep for ages. My absolute best tip echoes pp - mattress on the floor by the cot. I found sleeping with DS in my bed very hard but slept quite well with ear plugs in on a bed by the cot.

We also did DH in charge until midnight and I used to go to bed at 7 for a while. If DS woke after midnight (not an if really he always did) I’d go and sleep in his room.

Yes it was shit in many ways but I got enough sleep to stay sane. I treated it as an absolute health emergency which is what it felt like to me. he started sleeping through at about 2 and at 7 is the best at going to bed/ sleep of all my friends with children that age. It really will pass.

Yeah it annoys me too funnily enough @roadsweep

actually, as I have said, it is ruining my life. It really is having a profound effect upon me.

im not going through what I have tried but suffice to say my bookshelf is full of sleep books, hence why I really don’t see a sleep consultant working because they are all written by sleep consultants and if following the advice doesn’t work I’m not sure what else they can add.

Re DH - he does wfh mostly but this week he is working away.

@MarianaMassimo

Wow! I wonder why someone with a terminal Illness might seem support! I mean, they’re going to die anyway right! Or wow, what about bereavement? Because the person is dead! You see, wow, some problems don’t have a solution!

But you said you have no husband and no support at the top of the thread? If you have a husband surely he needs to take over so that you can get some rest. Don't take him out the cot, you're making a rid for your own back here by keep putting him in your bed when that is clearly the problem. Leave him to cry, they eventually fall asleep, theu eventually learn.

and thank you for the kindness. Believe me there is fuck all that will work and I won’t post here again.so there ya go roadsweep.

Yeah someone asked if I had a DH who can help. I don’t.