To have a late night / early morning rant about how no sleep is ruining my entire life?

[Notsleepingandnotcoping]

Lying here unable to sleep as have toddler with me. He refuses to go in his cot.

I have a three hour window (you can almost time it to the minute) when he goes to bed where he will sleep. Usually 730-1030. Then he wakes and that’s it.

I can either try to sleep myself then, or get all the other shit done. Either way I’m exhausted but if I sleep I am in chaos. If I don’t I have literally no sleep.

I can’t see friends, have a glass of wine, there is no enjoyment or pleasure in anything at all.

rant and moan and misery, pure misery.

i wish I had never done this.

Yes sleep training works unless there is something medically wrong with your child. Lots of methods, they take time - some children they take longer. It’s creating a new normal. Ok you hate his screaming but sounds like you hate this more so what if you spend days repeatedly going into his room and placing him back in his cot, you’re not sleeping well now.

He does settle for me - in my bed, on me. And I get no sleep.

There is no way respite foster care would be available for this, not with social care being as stretched as it is - unless there are other issues at play or a parent was utterly unable to care for their child for a significant reason. The best idea would be to speak with a HV. I know HV services around the UK have been very patchy due to Covid but in fairness to them, they don’t know there is a problem if they’re not told about it and approached for help. They might have some useful strategies which would give you the respite that you need. It absolutely sucks (putting it mildly) to be existing on no sleep whatsoever. It will get better - though I know what you need to deal with is in the here and now. Good luck, OP.

In my experience, picking one book, any book and sticking to it is key.

Or one sleep consultant.

I found I got confused with my first, I was reading everything and they all contradict themselves in the end. Ended up finding Little Ones seep guides and sticking religiously. Worked a treat

I can see this is where a sleep consultant would help with an actual plan. The problem is when you’ve had a plan and it works for a while but then stops.

Rants do help, I know they help me. Sounds like you're dealing with so much atm. I am currently pregnant and single, and I'm already dreading the phase you're currently in. Toddlers are too much work, especially if you dont have help. How are things going along?

It does, when done properly (which you haven't done) it works.

You have to let him cry it out. Take a week off work and deal with it properly. Be consistent. If he regresses next month, say, then you do the same method as before again. As nauseum until the problem is solved.

And you know that for an established fact, following every baby, do you?

But that's not fixing the problem. That's an 'easy' way out.

How do you know DS hasn’t got additional needs, @roadsweep ?

Then redo the plan over and over

Believe me, easy it isn’t.

Your incredibly rude to people ? Absolutely shocked that you turned on the lights and screamed at your baby and wrote you fucking hate him?

You need to get signed off work sick and sleep train - google gentle sleep training it doesn’t have to involve leaving them to cry. Otherwise co sleep and put a pillow between you and and your child so they kick that instead of you - we co sleep when my child is sick. The first year I was severely sleep deprived and ill but then I did gentle sleep training and cut out night feeds and gave a comforter instead and they slept great. It won’t change for a long time unless you give them a gentle nudge.

You have a choice of sleep train or co sleep? But don’t take it out on your child because they won’t sleep alone. Do you think you have PND ? You might need antidepressants i would ring the GP.

Pretty much, yes. Your baby isn't exceptional.

Honestly I don't see the point in anyone replying further. Op doesn't want help.

I don’t think I’ve been rude at all. I think some of you are very invested in trying to make me feel even worse than I already do (and it’s worked) and won’t give up until I’m weeping and agreeing to spend hundreds on something I have no confidence wil work.

@Notsleepingandnotcoping if your child has diagnosed additional needs at just 18 months old then you’re lying because you will be getting support! Don’t try and turn this on people trying to help you.

why can’t you sleep when your son is asleep on you?

It's taken me 5 weeks of meticulous consistency to cot train my baby. We're just about getting there. He's only 10 weeks old.

When I sleep trained my now 4 year old, he was 6 months so we did sleep training that involved a bit more crying, took about 2 weeks

Excellent idea! Let’s agree I’m fucking useless, rude, stupid, ugly and fat and draw a line. I said pages abo I won’t post about it again so not sure what anyone wants me to say.

Spend £45 and get Little Ones guides.

I'm hell bent on getting you to see you can change your life if you want to.

I was desperate when I sleep trained my first and it's life changing.

Do you suspect your child has additional needs?

I’m complete shit @roadsweep trust me. Roadkill would be a good name for me. Maybe you think the tough love thing helps but all it’s done to me (if you are genuinely trying to help) is have me hate myself.

I already know that I am useless. I’d really prefer the thread to be left there. As I am just hating myself more than I already do and trust me I really, really detest myself.

As a short term respite could you take a few days of AL on days ds is in nursery, and have a few days in bed? If he only does half days could you ask if they will increase to a full days as a one off.

WOW.

You need to bring yourself and your son to the GP, and ask for advice.

And if that advice doesn't work out, go to a different GP.

Screaming at him is NOT ok.

I also do not understand why on earth you are posting here, soooo irritated, clearly looking for advice or support and dismissing everything that is offered to you.

Lastly, don't really understand how you simply can't get any sleep with your child sleeping "on" you. People manage to sleep in a lot worse situations.