Do I deserve this? I'm banned from Marks and Spencers nationally!

[kandymouse]

I went shopping at my local M&S. I got some milk, bread, eggs etc.. of course with my buggy. I pay then I go out of the store..then a man comes and wants to come to their security office. Then I look down on my buggy and realize that there is a magazine that I forgot to pay for so then I apologize and ask him if he called me in for that. And there is him and another woman and a man (three people).. and he says that from now on I'm banned from M & S nationwide. They also call the police so they come down to the office and they tell M & S they can't put me on a criminal charge and just takes my name address and phone number. I thought this was a bit much. I'm extremely upset and I don't know what to do. Now they made me leave the shop with letter that I'm banned nationally from all M&S.

how would they now in other M&S that you were banned? unless there is a photo of you behind every till?!

must confess, haven't read whole thread, but Squiffy's idea sounds good to me.

Haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if this has been said already, but I used to manage the Loss Prevention dept in a department store.

Those 'exclusion orders' aren't legally binding, aren't worth the paper they're written on, and are given out as a deterrent.

I'd carry on as usual if I were you.

And I agree with Squiffy too

DP was banned from every Asda in the UK over forgetting to take the box of nappies from the undercarriage on the trolly ( they didnt fit in the top bit) - and he genuinely forgot to put them on the conveyor belt.

He did go back into the same branch about 4 weeks later and no-one batted an eye.

It's just like on the adverts. Not just a ban but an M&S nationwide ban.

This is a huge fear of mine (not being banned from M&S obv). But when I was much younger I went into a shop with an Easter Egg in my pocket that my boyfriend had bought for me. I was looking for my friend who was in the shop when I was basically collered and hauled into an office. They refused to let me go and kept me there for over 30mins accusing me over and over again of stealing this egg. I was so scared and was crying as some of my parents friends had seen me be pulled in there. Eventually my friend went and got my boyfriend and he came back with the receipt, they just said oh okay then and let me go.

For years after I had a huge fear about being accused of shoplifting and always make sure I keep everything in the basket and away from my pockets!

I did the same in tesco with loo rolls hung on the trolley hook. I rang them as soon as I got home and sent DH next day to pay for them. They said not to worry and people don't usually bother being so honest.

I do live in fear of one of the DCs "collecting" something on their way round though.

Hope you feel a bit better today.

Thank you all very much. I am feeling a bit better. I will write letter of apology and ask for duration of ban and say that I'm genuinly sorry for the mistake but it was a completely honest mistake having just had baby and also stopped breastfeeding as well. I was completely absentminded and my head was foggy as it can be.
Well this incident has made me want to be more organized as I'm such a clumsy absentminded person to start with. But I still don't like the woman in the shop who shouted at me and the fact that they almost locked me in a little room. (they put the fire hydrant on the door after they put my DD 6months old's buggy, so technically I couldn't get out unless I physically moved the fire hydrant). And also they detained me for about 1 hour and scared the shit out of me. I'm sure this anger will diminish as I go back to everyday stuff!! BOY WHAT A DRAMA!

hi kandymouse,

glad you're feeling a bit better - that was very naughty of them to block the door with a fire hydrant. I suspect the local fire officers would have something to say .

I'm glad you feel better. It does all sound very scary. Yeah--I bet the fire officers wouldn't like that bit either!

to steal you have to dishonestly appropriate or something like that. Point that out to them in your letter and suggest that to ban you for this is contravening your human rights!

MY apologise for not reading all this thread but could you of been mistaken for someone else who they have seen shoplifting before ??

Sounds very harsh !!! poor you ! xx

If you do write to apologise please don't grovel too much. You made a genuine mistake and they reacted disproportionately by the sounds of it. Detaining you for an hour in a door blocked with a fire extinguisher is preposterous.

OMG eeewah I love your name

that is one of my favourite jokes

The OP is really scarey - similar things have happened to me a couple of times, walking out of shops with small children.
Do you actually WANT to go back to M&S now??? I wouldnt even want to walk past their doors after being treated like that.

If they had caught you shoplifting before, it would be understandable, but seems very harsh to treat a mistake like that.

It might be that the Citizens Advice Bureau could help...?

Message withdrawn

Gosh, didn't realise you'd been virtually locked up for an hour. And to be shouted at too I know they have to be careful with security but that's dreadful - not to mention completely unprofessional.

How about sending a letter with a link to this thread to their public relations dept????

My 2 year old took a packet of chewing gum from Smiths. They have them in front of the till and just right at his level. I realised as soon as we left the shop so left the kids to take it back. I told the woman on the till my child had taken this by accident and she was really annoyed I didn't put it back myself! I just wanted to give it back asap so as to not leave my children any longer than I had too. BTW they were in my sight while I was doing it.

I once heard that shops pay extra attention to pg women browsing because they make up quite a large chunk of the shop-lifting statistic.

If other women are at all like me when I was pg then they should be given the benefit of the doubt - don't know if it was hormones, but I'd have forgotten my head if it wasn't screwed on.

I am not much better with a screaming toddler - it is very easy to be distracted. Very crap for you, though, kandy. I also agree that writing a letter is your best first step.

I once left a charity shop after browsing and noticed that my ds (in his buggy) was attracting some very strange looks. I finally leaned over the buggy to see my little angel clinging on to a large, old, black, man's left shoe. He had taken it off a display while I wasn't looking. I took it back (it was fairly easy to explain as you can imagine).

Can't imagine what the passers by thought though...

Do you know my ds helped himself to a chocolate lolly from his buggy in M&S only today (while I was distracted looking at the woman in fronts copy of Psychologies magazine and wondering what it was about, strangely enough). I didn't notice until almost near home and couldn't be bothered to walk all the way back, plus it had teeth marks in so I let him eat it (after a lecture of course). I had absolutely no intention of going in and paying for it tommorow though - am impressed at how honest you all are - serves them right for putting them at buggy level to snare the harassed mums I say (applies to low value items, obviously).

I appreciate that they have to do their jobs but the way you were treated seems a bit harsh, and after apologising profusely in your letter I would mention how upsetting it was for you, ie, yes I was in the wrong but I was willing to admit my mistake and as I have recently had a baby this has affected me deeply, etc.
I really feel for you as I have a massive guilt complex for absolutely no reason, so if this happened to me I would be in a complete state.
Also agree re fire regs!