Do I deserve this? I'm banned from Marks and Spencers nationally!

[kandymouse]

I went shopping at my local M&S. I got some milk, bread, eggs etc.. of course with my buggy. I pay then I go out of the store..then a man comes and wants to come to their security office. Then I look down on my buggy and realize that there is a magazine that I forgot to pay for so then I apologize and ask him if he called me in for that. And there is him and another woman and a man (three people).. and he says that from now on I'm banned from M & S nationwide. They also call the police so they come down to the office and they tell M & S they can't put me on a criminal charge and just takes my name address and phone number. I thought this was a bit much. I'm extremely upset and I don't know what to do. Now they made me leave the shop with letter that I'm banned nationally from all M&S.

I nearly did this myself today. I picked up a newspaper. The front story was about the death of a child I know. I read the paper and felt upset and without thinking rolled it up and put it into my handbag. Realised as I was walking off and was able to pay for it without leaving the shop.

But it was a close thing.

Chin up, sweetie. If you have no previous, this seems very harsh to me, and surprises me. M&S are usually very nice.

Did this in a Holland & Barrett in Dublin just before Xmas! Had been to Tesco and had a trolley full of shopping and went into H&B (this particular one you can wheel your trolley just inside door) and I picked up a bottle of vitamins from the display and put them on the trolley, then went to look for something for my Mum and asked the lady about it - we had a discussion and I decided not to buy and left. Got to car with DS and when unpacking realised I still had vits! Couldn't face doing back in just then but did go back the following day. Handed another pack of vits to the girl (a different one) and said "can I pay for these but you can keep them - I appear to have stolen some yesterday!). DH was in stitches and the girl was totally in shock. She just said "You are very honest!"

I do think M&S overreacted but it is prob a very common excuse for stealing stuff like that.

Haven't read the whole thread, only the first page, but for what it's worth you can't actually be stopped for stealing when still inside the shop. You have to have walked out of the store in order for it to be classified as stealing.

So if anyone is 'escorted' to the office for not paying for something and you are still on the premises just tell them that. Then you just pay for or return the goods as takes your fancy.

Unfortunately if you feel a hand on your shoulder just as you step out then you're in a bit of trouble.

Imo pregnant women and those with cildren should be given the benefit of the doubt though

When I worked in (several big chain) shops we were well aware of 2 things

1. people use buggies/wheelchairs etc to nick stuff

2. people (usually mums with young children) sometimes forget to take stuff out of buggy when paying.

IMO 75% of the time it's reasonably easy to tell the difference. There are those who can fool you obv, but most of the time you can tell if it's been a genuine mistake.

The attitude of the shops I worked for was that it was worth losing customers over unless you were sure. Easy enough to have a quick look in the buggies at the tills and say 'opps I think you forgot that' or check as they go out.

Shops lose a lot in shoplifting, but they also budget for a loss.

Also the banning thing - mostly if you go back in the same small store they will recognise you if not or if you're in another branch then unlikely.

Ah, but it's not just any ban though, this an M&S national lifetime ban.

didn't read last post properly.

Itsnotonlythegoodbits is right. YOu cannot get someone on intent to steal, they have to have left the shop.

However the shop is a private premises and as such they can ban anyone they like with or without reason - though usually they don't obv.

M&S customer service is often shite ime - and I have had some of the worst service, absolutely atrocious, there.

cant believe the police were called m&s should be charged with wasting police time

i would have so upset

PMSL at Tinker

lol at Tinker

M&S is a shop for very old ladies. I would personally covet a lifetime ban.

Message withdrawn

Someone I know did shoplift from M&S - got caught, charged and banned. A couple of months later she was escorted from another local M&S - they obviously had her photo up somewhere.

Message withdrawn

iCod, do you know what really makes me laugh/grimace re: police and shoplifting? When we catch a shoplifter and if we can be bothered to report it rather than just push them very forcefully head-first down our slope, the police want evidence. We email them our super-duper CCTV footage and they then have to come to our shop, collect a dvd from us and then send it away to have a video made that fits cop-shop video (I'm thinking beta-max) This takes over 8 weeks. God bless 'em.

Anyway, must get back to putting all my prices up again.

Bloody ridiculous!Appeal and when they say you can shop there tell em you won't!It's so easy to do I can't believe how harsh they have been.There is always a jobsworth who thinks they own the store etc..and take things too far. My granny eventually ot banned from her local supermarket in Ireland...but she was bkatantky shop lifting...i think it gave her a thrill[rin]they were really nice about it though.

Meant to be blatantly! and a

tbh, I think you should not give it headspace, now you've seen you are not alone in making an innocent mistake, I would not bother to even spend the time writing a letter to M & S. Technically you were in the wrong and the security officers were doing their job. You were unlucky, don't blame yourself, so move on, don't dwell on it.

You know they tried to put the frighteners on you, but you know it is highly unlikely anything will happen if you walk back into another branch of M&S and pay in cash.

The most criminal thing I ever did involved M&S - so bad, so non-innocent, such an aberration to what I normall do, I will never ever tell anyone on mumsnet

Just shop online with M & S. Easier and no false accusations either.

Tigermoth - you could tell me via a CAT . I'd be understanding.

Oh and Tinker, I've currently got the M&S voice due to a cold, very sexy.

Yeah, I've done it as well, in Woollies with a Dr Who lunchbox of all things. Went out still holding it whilst chatting to ds, realised when I was halfway up the street and went dashing back in to be met by an assistant and the security guard who smiled and said "we wondered how long it would be before you came back!". How nice of them and how different from M&S' ridiculous overeaction.

I should have got myself banned from M&S about 2 months ago - I bought something from them that was say £2.05, and gave her a tenner, and she started giving me the change back, and I said await I've got the 5p (or whatever). I thought it would make her and my life easier, but no, for some reason she wouldn't try to change the calc in her head.

I told her not to worry so I started to walk out, then I realised she still had my tenner, so I went back and tried to take the ten pounds from her till .

She told me I couldn't do that, I accepted the change, then walked out.

I tried to find her the next day to apologise, and I have been back since but what I did is alot worse than the OP, and probably should have warranted some sort of ban!

They have def. overreacted and once things have settled a bit, write to them and complain.

I walked round Sainsburys once with my 4 very young children picking items from the shelf and putting them straight into a carrier bag ( I had obviously decided to completley bypass a shopping basket)

I didn't realise that I had 2 security guards following me along with the store manager but they were actually laughing at me because they realised I wasn't trying to steal anything but was just being a bit ditzy and absent minded.

Apparently, when I got to the till and had to start unloading the shopping out of the carrier bag and on to the conveyor belt - the look on my face was priceless

If you do write, I would write recommend that you write to apologise and not to complain. Technically they were right and you were wrong. They have overreacted but it is no skin off their nose if they never see you again, wheras it is humiliating to you for years and years. What you want is closure and you won't get closure by ranting at them. If you write a letter apologising for being so absent minded and distracted by your children and pointing out how embarassed you are, especially as you are upstanding citizen and so on and that you are effusively sorry for taking up everybody's time owing to your daftness, then I reckon that there is a chance you might get an understanding reply and ban lifted. If you complain, no chance. I would also copy the letter to that particular store as well. Or even better, take it to the store personally and ask to see floor manager and hand it over to him. People who nick things don't do that, and he is likely to be minded to think you are genuine.